The question shocked me, and before I could even think it through, I heard myself whisper, "I thought I was."
"And now?" His words were clipped, but there was an undercurrent of something in his tone that I couldn't ignore. Something that sounded like hope.
Guilt churned in my stomach as I thought about it—about how distraught Laryk had seemed in my dreams, how certain he'd been of my return. I hadn't let myself think about any of this in so long, and now that I did, I found myself more confused than ever.
"I don't know," I finally said.
The silence that followed felt barren. The wind sent a chill across my skin and I tucked my hands beneath my head. A part of me wanted to be closer to him, to absorb that endless warmth, but I couldn't bring myself to move. Something had changed. I could feel the energy shift between us, and for a moment, I regretted answering his question at all.
Aether turned over, his back to me. "We need to get some rest."
A strange panic fluttered in my chest at his withdrawal. Suddenly, I wanted to be back in Ravenfell. In his bed, with his arms wrapped around me like armor. An armor that, perhaps, I’d just broken with an admission I wasn’t even sure was true.
That feeling followed me into a restless sleep.
CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE
The scentof woodsmoke pulled me from sleep. I blinked away the heaviness in my eyes to find Aether already awake, crouched by the fire. Dark clouds churned across the horizon where sea met sky, their edges bleeding into each other until I couldn't tell where one ended and the other began.
It seemed the tension from the night before still lingered in the air. I could feel it in the careful way he moved, in how his shoulders stiffened when I sat up. Even his shadows seemed more contained, pulled tight against his skin like armor.
"Looks like it might rain," I said, the words falling flat in the heavy air.
Aether's eyes flicked up from the fire, scanning the sea. "Looks like it."
I lowered myself to sit across from him, watching the way his fingers gripped the makeshift spit with more force than necessary. Last night's conversation hung between us like a mist.
He pulled a fish from the flames and handed it to me first. "Careful, it's hot."
Thunder rolled in the distance as we ate, the sound echoing offthe cliff face. Neither of us spoke. I found myself counting the seconds between lightning and thunder, anything to fill the silence.
"Will rain affect the Vördr?" I asked, watching as Aether tossed pieces of fish to Nihr and Tryggar. The massive beasts tore into their breakfast with none of the discomfort that plagued their riders.
"They love it," he said as he finished his own meal, gaze fixed somewhere, anywhere other than me. "For the journey, it won't matter so much. We can fly above it."
I nodded, tracking another flash of lightning as it split the sky.
Aether stood abruptly, adjusting the straps of his leather armor. "When you're finished, there's something we need to do before we leave."
"We shouldn't waste time," I countered, but something in his posture told me this wasn't up for debate.
"I know you think we're going to go do all of this without struggle." His fingers worked at his weapon belt, checking each blade. "But I need you to be prepared for any outcome."
"What do you mean?"
"You've never used your shadows in battle. At least not intentionally." His eyes finally moved toward me, but settled somewhere over my shoulder. "You need to learn how to fight with itintentionally."
I pushed myself to my feet, brushing dirt from my leathers. "I'm all ears."
Angry waves crashed against the shore as Aether began to explain, his voice taking on that familiar commanding tone I remembered from my first days in the tower. "Going in and out of spectre form can disorient your enemy. When you're pure shadow, you're resistant to physical damage. You need to use that to your advantage." He moved toward the center of the cliff, keeping wellaway from the edge. "But it requires speed, precision. Complete awareness of your surroundings."
I followed him, feeling the electricity in the air as another burst of thunder shook the ground beneath us.
"Try to attack me." The words were clipped.
I hesitated for only a moment before lunging forward. But where Aether had been standing, there was nothing but smoke. Before I could turn, his hands locked around my wrists, pulling them behind my back.
"You see how it can be extremely useful in a fight," he said, his breath warm against my ear. Then he released me just as quickly, and I felt cold in all the places his hands had touched.