Page 67 of Duskbound

An alliance? Against Sídhe?

Moments slipped by. I wasn't entirely sure how many, or for how long we stayed like this. The gray sky loomed above, the gnarled forest blurring as my vision shifted.

"They didn't tell you about any of this, I see." Rethlyn took another sip of his wine, and leaned back, a heavy expression on his face.

I shook my head.

"Easier to control the masses if you've fed them a story that paints them in a good light," Vexa mumbled.

"I don't understand. If you were branded, painted as a rebel to these people of Sídhe, how did you even end up in the Guard?" Effie asked, her voice verging on exasperation.

The words sank in. "I wasn't given a choice."

"They forced you to fight for them—after everything?" Vexa's tone was laced with disgust.

"That's how it started out—" I stumbled over my words. "It wasn't like that in the end. I thought I was doing what I was meant to. What was right."

"This man you spoke of earlier—he's also in the Guard?" Effie raised an eyebrow.

I nodded.

The silence that followed felt charged with their poorlyconcealed judgment, even as they tried to maintain polite expressions.

"Well," Rethlyn said finally, swirling the wine around in the bottle, "I suppose I should give you the standard response of 'you deserve better than that.'"

"You don't understand," I finally said, my voice sharper than intended. "I know how it seems to all of you. But you didn't know me before. When he brought me into the Guard, everything changed."

"The General you told me about before?" Vexa asked, her expression connecting the dots.

I looked away, unable to meet their eyes.

"Well, that's a nightmare in power dynamics," Effie muttered.

"It wasn't like that," I insisted, heat rising in my cheeks.

"He forces you to join the Guard—the one who destroyed your home and branded you? And youfellfor him?" Vexa's voice wasn't cruel, but it was pained. I wasn't sure which was worse.

I knew how all of it looked. How it must sound to all of them. Even hearing it all playing out in my head was making me nauseous. Their pity was suffocating. I could feel it rolling off them in waves.

"Well there was clearly a lot of manipulation going on," Rethlyn sighed, running a hand through his dark hair. "You're right Fia, none of us have the slightest clue what it was like to be in that situation." He shot Vexa a look.

The words tumbled out before I could stop them, driven by wine. "Laryk taught me so much about myself, how to wield my focus, how to fight. He was the only person who ever saw something useful in me."

"Sounds like he was creating a lovely new weapon in you." Vexa clicked her teeth.

I went still. "I don't know why I'm bothering to explain any of this to you," I said, my voice trembling. "I didn't have a life—apurpose—until Laryk found me. I don't care how it comes across to you. Iexperiencedit firsthand. I was drowning, and he saved me from myself."

I could feel tears threatening to spill, and I refused to let them see me cry. I turned away from the fire.

"Fia, wait!" I heard Vexa's voice call from behind.

Their apologies followed me as I strode into the darkness, but I didn't slow down. I was so focused on holding back tears that I nearly collided with a solid form in the shadows.

Aether.

Of course it would be him. Of course he would see me like this, with tears streaming down my face despite my best efforts to contain them. I waited for the criticism.

"Don't," I said, when he fell into step beside me. "I just want to be alone. In the quiet."

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