Page 121 of Blitzing Emily

“Why do you want to see me?” he asked quietly.

“I made a mistake,” she choked out. “I want to apologize.”

“You want to apologize.”

“Yes.” She bit her lip hard. She couldn’t bear his silence. Finally, the floodgates opened. “I was wrong. I should have listened to you about Anastasia and the baby. I didn’t. I thought you cheated, and I couldn’t stand the thought that you slept with someone else when you were with me. I miss you. I wonder if there’s any chance we could—”

It was his turn to interrupt her.

“Are you sorry because you didn’t trust me, or are you sorry because you had to admit that you were wrong?” His voice was raw. She couldn’t breathe. His words were like a folding chair to the gut: The pain was instant and overwhelming. “Sugar, I told you that I’d never give up on us, and I don’t think I ever could, but you gave up on me a long time ago. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t take me at my word and doesn’t trust me. Even more, I want someone who loves me the way I love her, and you don’t.”

Now it was Emily’s turn to be silent. More than her own pain, she felt his. She heard the strain in his voice. He thought she didn’t love him? She loved him like her next breath.

She leaned against the kitchen counter for support.

“You still there?” Maybe it was her imagination, but his voice was a little warmer.

“Yes. I’m still here.”

“Are you cryin’?”

“Of course I’m not.” She swiped at the tears with her free hand. She took the deepest breath she could with the weight of grief and regret that crushed her. “I fell in love with you. I’m in love with you.”

“That’s nice, sugar, but you’re going to have to do better than that.”

This was not a great time for her fiery redhead’s temper to ignite. Of course, it happened anyway.

“But I apologized. I’m sorry. I was wrong. I said I love you! What else can I say?” she cried out. “Don’t you believe me?”

“I’m big on action, not words. If you love me, I need to see it. I need to feel it.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I want the sweet, funny Emily I met while she was flat on her back in a parking lot. I want the woman I made every excuse I could think of to stay with. The minute I looked into her eyes for the first time, I knew I could never let her walk out of my life. I want the only woman I’ve ever said ‘I love you’ to and meant it.” He took a breath. “I need someone who can put her pride aside and tell me she loves me before her back’s against the wall. I need someone who will stand with me, no matter what. Someone who trusts me and wants me, no matter what. The day I see that, I’ll know you love me. When you’re ready to show me, I’ll meet you anywhere, anytime.” His final words were barely above a whisper. He waited a few seconds for her to answer and quietly added, “It’s up to you.”

She heard a click on the other end of the phone, and the sudden silence that followed a call ending. He wasn’t waiting any longer for her response.

CHRISTMAS CAME. AMYwas dating a guy she met at the shop named Brian. David was brokenhearted over this development, but he managed to recover quickly after he met a beautiful young diva from Chicago Lyric Opera who asked him out. Listening to Amy and Brian spar was exhausting, but Emily had to smile at what seemed to be his blossoming love for her sister. Wait till Amy figured it out. She was so happy, and the twinges of jealousy Emily felt over their sweet romance were quickly swallowed up in the joy she felt for them. Her parents were still spending every available minute together. Emily wondered if her father was contemplating popping the question, or if he would.

“Honey, give him a chance,” her mother said for the thousandth time since Emily finally confessed to calling Brandon. “He’s hurt. You’re hurt. It’s just going to take some time.”

The Hamilton women met in Meg’s kitchen for a time-honored family tradition: Turkey and cranberry sandwiches late on Christmas night. Margaret passed the cranberry sauce out of the refrigerator to Emily.

“It’s not going to happen,” Emily told her mother, and turned away so Meg couldn’t see her quivering chin. She never used to cry, and now it seemed like she’d never stop. Amy caught her sister red-handed.

“Buck up,” Amy said to Emily in a low voice. “You can do this.”

“I don’t need him. I—I’ll be fine,” Emily insisted. “My career is going really well, and I—”

“I’ll tell you what you’re going to do.” Amy pulled Emily in for a side hug. “You’re going to put one foot in front of the other, and you’re going to keep trying until he accepts your apology.”

Emily knew she was just trying to help. Brandon wasn’t relenting. She also knew there would be nobody else but Brandon for her. Ever.

Chapter Twenty-Four

AT EIGHT-FIFTEENAMon New Year’s Day, Emily was already late for a meeting with her agent, David. She attempted to breeze through the front doors of Seattle’s Grand Hyatt hotel. The non-fat latte clutched in one hand had other ideas. The lid popped off her coffee cup as she pried the door open, splashing foam and coffee over one leg of her pale-oyster colored wool trousers.

In the good old days of opera, something like this would call for a full-on diva meltdown. She allowed herself one angry “damn it,” and surveyed the damage with a sinking heart: A gigantic stain. The detergent pen in her handbag wouldn’t fix it. She hated looking like a mess. If she wasn’t nervous enough about this meeting already, walking in looking like she’d spent the night camping underneath the Alaskan Way Viaduct wasn’t helpful, either. She’d like a do-over.

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