Page 74 of Savage Keepsakes

“What happened to you?”

I freeze in her touch. We’ve never talked about this. The memories are so overwhelming that I don’t want to scare her away.

I kiss the top of her head and pull away from her.

“Get into bed, Lou. I’ll be up in a minute.”

I walk out to the porch and light a cigarette, letting the nicotine sink into my lungs and release the tension from my shoulders.

Lou is hot on my heels, her touch a comforting blanket that I’ve missed all my life.

“I’m not going to run,” she whispers. Curling up beside me, I wrap my arm around her upper body and stare out into the yard.

“My mother didn’t like me unless I could provide for her. Love was conditional. If I brought in the right amount of money, then she’d do the doting-mom act. If I didn’t, she’d leave me for days, and on the regular expressed how much she hated me.”

The nights in the closet, darkness surrounding me as a young child, made me grow into the biggest monster. The boogeyman didn’t exist in the sense of hurting me. Instead, he molded me into the man I am today.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

I hold her closer and take a drag with the other hand.

“How did you have to make money?”

I’m going to have to bare my soul to her. She’s done nothing but comfort me with everything I do. It might be time to come clean.

“She’d sell me to men, and they’d take their turns with me. She was a cunt. I’m glad she’s dead.”

Bricks of protection fall away from my heart. I never wanted to utter those words out loud. I realize she owns every inch of my tattered heart and her love is only meant to care.

“You should’ve been loved forever no matter what, without conditions. Only love.” She nestles beside me, and I crush out the cigarette.

Gripping her tightly, I hoist both of us off the swing and lock the door as we enter the house.

“Billy!” she squeals.

“Enough of the darkness from the past. Let’s get some sleep.”

With each step, her warmth radiates against my chest as I carry her upstairs. Her grip on my shirt is so tight, like she thinks I might accidentally drop her.

After placing her on the bed, I strip off my sweatpants and snuggle up behind her.

“Sex is fucking phenomenal with you, but I want to hold you for now while we sleep,” I tell her, and she melts into my arms.

Lou has always been the one for me. I’m in so deep I don’t know what I’ll do if she runs away. She’d never get far.

I’d flip the earth looking for her again. There are no second chances, only one forever.

Nineteen

Lucy

“Ithink you have everything you need. I appreciate you so damn much, Lou,” Billy says.

In the driveway, with my trunk filled to the brim with product, my heart swells when I notice his labelling includes my nickname.

“Of course. You do so much for me. How could I not do this for you?”

He’s so wonderful with people, but I get being scared to be next to your own creation. The way my book is going tells me I’ll be nervous when I finally publish it.

---