Page 19 of Sniper

“That is not the fucking point Katey!” Oh, he was angry. Really angry but unlike Ethan, I didn’t have to brace myself for a blow, just his anger and his disappointment.

“This is better,” Slate said, cutting through the tension.

Sniper snorted. “That doesn’t even sound right, Slate.”

“No, seriously. Now I can trace where he was when the calls came in and maybe we can figure out where he is, at least a general direction of where he might be.”

“Seriously? You don’t have to do that stuff real time?”

Slate shook his head. “If we did, nobody would ever get caught.” He grinned. “I’ll get this back to you as soon as I can.”

“Don’t bother. This is how it goes.” His powerful friends, whoever they were, always used their resources to make sure I was never out of Ethan’s reach for too long. “I’ll grab another cell phone next time I’m out.”

“What about your brother,” Diesel asked. “Won’t he worry?”

My gaze cut to Sniper. “He’ll call you, or he’ll show up here. He’s resourceful like that.” Cal put me here because he thought it was the safest place for me and while I wasn’t completely sold on that idea, so far Ethan hadn’t gotten close to me. I opened my mouth to tell Slate, in a roundabout way, what else I knew. He was smart, a hacker apparently, which meant he could figure out the part that’s eluded me in all this. The identity of Ethan’s friends. My mouth opened and closed several times, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them just yet.

Part of me knew I was tying their hands, making it impossible to keep me safe—and themselves—by keeping theintel to myself. But the other part? The part that learned that men in particular couldn’t be trusted was worried, that they’d take out Ethan and then workwiththose awful men. That no matter what happened, I’d eventually be sacrificed to save someone else. I couldn’t risk it.

Not yet.

Guilt weighed me down, heavy like jumping into a pool fully dressed, and I couldn’t look at them any longer. “I’ll be in my room.” I rushed from the office without casting a glance at the women and children that populated the bar area, in a hurry to find solitude before my emotions cracked.

I didn’t know these people and I didn’t particularly trust them, which meant I couldn’t relax around them, couldn’t let my guard down. I kept myself in check the way I did inside the ER and the OR. It didn’t matter if it was a child on my table or some wicked criminal, I kept my opinions to myself and focused on the medical problem before me. I didn’t need or want their pity, but more than that, I couldn’t let them see me vulnerable just in case they wanted to use it against me.

I stepped inside the bedroom and leaned against the door to catch my breath.

You’re fine. Everything is as fine as it can be, I told myself until I had my breathing under control. I crossed the room on shaky legs, but I missed the bed, and my ass hit the hard wood floor.

There was no good reason to feel the urge to cry, nothing had happened today to make me cry, nothing that was any different than the past fifteen days. Still, the stinging behind my eyes intensified, and when the first tear fell it was like the flood gates had opened. Tears fell in two continuous streams down mycheeks and my body shook with sobs that I muffled with my fist. Tugging my legs up until I was as small as I could get, I let myself cry for the life I would never have.

Even if I somehow managed to get back into the ER and practice medicine, I would never be the woman I was before Ethan. That carefree woman was gone. The one who gave smiles freely and laughed easily was dead. The one who trusted and forgave easily was never coming back. I didn’t know who I was anymore and even now, here at the clubhouse, I wasn’t sure I would live long enough to find out.

“Katey.” Sniper’s deep voice held a strain of worry.

I gasped, startled at the intrusion, and berated myself for getting so lost in my emotions that I didn’t hear him enter the room. I kept my back to him and hurriedly wiped away my tears. “What’s up?” I managed once I was sure my face was dry.

There was a long silence before he spoke again. “Are you okay?”

“Yep,” I answered brightly. “I’m fine.” I blinked until my eyes no longer felt stiff and fuzzy, and then I got to my feet. “Did you need something?”

“No.” That one word seemed to echo in the room.

“Oh. Okay.” Too tired to play games with him, I kept my back to him and dropped down onto the bed, determined to wait him out until he was bored. I held myself stiff, all the tension contained within my body coiled tight within me, and I waited.

And waited.

The bed dipped, and Sniper was there beside me. The weight of his gaze on the side of my face was impossible toignore, but I was determined to try. He reached out and grabbed my hand, holding it between his large, slightly callused hands.

It was more comforting that it should have been and dammit, I needed that comfort, so I accepted it. I kept my hand in his and enjoyed the warmth of his big body as tears slid down my cheeks. I didn’t sob and my shoulders didn’t shake, but I silently cried. And cried. And cried.

At some point Sniper wrapped his arms around me and held me against his chest while I cried, which only made me cry harder. How long had it been since anyone but Cal had shown me physical affection? There was one time recently, but there hadn’t been time to truly savor it. But this was different.

The hug, platonic as it felt, was charged with something I refused to put a name to. There was no time for anything like that. I didn’t have room for it, and I wasn’t interested in it, whateveritwas. That’s what I told myself when I pulled back and looked into his deep green eyes, filled with concern. For me, I realized. “Thank you, Sniper.”

His black brows were dipped into his trademark scowl. “You’re welcome.”

His breath mingled with mine, slightly sweet with a hint of coffee.No, goddammit.I shook my head and pulled back, but somehow that brought me closer to his mouth.

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