Page 49 of Sniper

That defeated the whole damn purpose of going for a ride. “Fine, I’ll stay here.”

“I brought beer!” Hawk joined us with a wide smile that faded when he took in my expression. “What’s up?”

Slate filled him in on the ongoing drama. “That’s what’s up.”

“I’ll take two of those beers to start.”

***

Two beers turned into six as day slid into night. My anger didn’t dissipate even under tremendous amounts of alcohol. It was dulled but it was never far away, which only made me feel like a world class asshole. The fact that I didn’t go and check on Katey made me doubly an asshole, but I figured that we both needed some space.

The sun went down, and we headed inside for more drinks, a few bites of food, and a few more drinks. The night began to blur from the alcohol, but I didn’t stop. I knew I’d regret it in the morning but tonight I didn’t give a shit. I drank and drank, hoping that the next drink would wipe out my anger.

My frustration.

But it didn’t do shit for fuck. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the fucking world to get Katey’s face out of my mind. She’d been terrified and devastated and I just walked out.

Like a fucking asshole.

I needed to fix things but was there any fixing this monumental fuck up?

Probably not but I had to try.

Eventually I would try but not tonight. Maybe not tomorrow night either.

But soon.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Katey

It had been six hours since I told Sniper the truth. He hadn’t come to bed, and I was more pissed off that I cared than I was that he hadn’t returned to our room.

It was almost funny when you thought about it. I’d been so scared of the nameless, faceless men that protected Ethan, too scared to even talk about them for fear it might conjure them up and bring danger to the Steel Demons’ doorstep. That was a worry or rather, a fear, for another day. Doing the right thing, it turned out, had cost me something I didn’t even realize I wanted to hang on to.

Sniper’s response or lack of one told me everything I needed to know. I guess I’d hoped he might come back to talk to me, but the more I thought about it, the more I understood why he hadn’t. By keeping quiet I’d put his club at risk. I was a liability, it was time to move on. It wasn’t fair to Sniper or Diesel or any of the women who’d been nothing but kind to me, to get caught in the middle of a fight that wasn’t theirs. No matter what Falcon or Peyton or Ellie had said, I wasn’t one of them.

This fight wasn’t theirs and the danger shouldn’t be either. The longer I stayed here, the greater the risk of me bringing trouble to their doorstep was.

It was the middle of the night and the clubhouse was completely silent. The music had long since stopped and it felt as if I had the place to myself even though I didn’t. It was time for me to do what I should have done from the beginning. I was anadult, alone in this world and that was exactly how I should’ve dealt with my problems.

On my own.

This wasn’t on the Steel Demons or Cal. I was the idiot who hadn’t listened to anyone—my brother or my friends—who’d seen in Ethan what I hadn’t been able to. I was the fool who thought my love could change him, not them. This trap I found myself in was of my own making and I wouldn’t let anyone else pay for my stupidity.

This was my debt to pay.

I packed up my meager belongings, a routine I knew well at this point, even though I wasn’t sure I’d ever need them again. If all went well, I’d need them and if it didn’t—well none of it would matter. I knew this was the right move. It was dangerous as hell, but I was the only one in danger now and that was how it should be.

I found some paper and a pen and quickly wrote a letter to my brother. This was the second goodbye letter I’d written to him, I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew one way or another I was unlikely to see him again. After folding the paper and stuffing it in an envelope, I got ready to leave.

I hadn’t intended on leaving a letter for Sniper—this was a marriage in name only. A marriage of convenience. Me leaving would probably be a relief for him. Whatever feelings IthoughtI felt towards him were caused by my hormones and too much pleasure. Nothing else. I liked him, of course I did, he was a likeable guy. And yeah, he wasn’t anything like Ethan beyond being in a motorcycle club, and I was grateful for that.

Sniper and his club brothers showed me that not every biker was like Ethan and his former bikers. Showed me that you could be angry with another person and not put them in physical danger. I learned a lot in my time here and for that, I would always be grateful to him. To all of them.

And I would show my gratitude by keeping them out of harm’s way.

He deserved an explanation, so I quickly scribbled a few lines, saying I was sorry and thanking him for looking after me. I placed that sheet of paper beside the letter for my brother and grabbed my bag.

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