Page 41 of Saving You

It was nice.

Except Oz wanted to be back in his condo, buried under his blankets, doing everything he could not to think about tomorrow. Because tomorrow was Sunday.Theday. He’ddreamed about it all week, waking up either hard as a rock or sticky from coming in his sleep because the dreams were intense.

He wished he didn’t know what Ridge felt like. What he tasted like. Smelled like. The sense memory of him was burrowed into his brain like a parasite and had given him zero rest.

‘You look upset.’

Oz blinked when he realized someone was signing to his left. He turned in his chair and saw a tall man with long dark dreads and deep mahogany-brown eyes, wearing a blue polo with the school logo on the breast. Myles—his coworker and friend—was leaning on a pool cue, giving him alook.

‘I’m not upset.’

‘Liar.’

Oz rolled his eyes and reached for his beer, but Myles was faster. He shoved Oz’s beer to the end of the table, then set the edge of his ass over the condensation ring it had left behind.

‘True-biz. I’mfine.’

‘Talk to me,’ Myles insisted. His gaze was unrelenting. Normally, Oz liked that about his friend. He was one of the first teachers who’d asked to hang out outside of work, and he was solely responsible for making sure that Oz was part of the group and not just the reclusive new guy. ‘I can tell something’s going on.’

Oz let out a slow breath. ‘Your family’s hearing, right?’

‘Mixed,’ Myles told him. ‘Dad’s HoH, mom’s hearing, grandparents are deaf but not part of the community. My brother’s Deaf like me. Sister’s hearing. Why?’

Oz shrugged, feeling a little defeated. Myles would not understand. ‘Do you think I’ll regret it if I give up on my parents?’ It was an easier conversation than the one he wanted to have about Ridge and what it would be like to fuck a man. Heliked Myles, but he didn’t know him well enough to trust him with all that yet.

Myles gave him another look, then slid down into the chair and rested the pool cue against the wall so he could use both of his hands. ‘I don’t know. I don’t think I can give you an answer because I’ll never be in that position.’

Oz wanted to tell him he should be careful about what he said because he never knew when people who were supposed to love him would find a reason to stop. But he also knew that was his own trauma talking.

‘There are other people you can ask. So many people at school who have the same problem you do.’

That was also fair. He’d had a sit-down with a student looking to him for guidance because her situation was too much like his own. He closed his eyes for several breaths, then looked over at Myles, whose expression had shifted.

‘Something else is wrong.’

It was not a question. Oz felt his stomach twist. It was one thing to admit he was bi to himself. It was another to admit he was bi to the man he’d kissed. But to put it out there to anyone? He felt shaky and sweaty.

‘Hey, sorry,’ Myles signed in a rush. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’

Oz quickly shook his head and gathered himself. Myles was not a threat to his well-being. He was a friend. He cared. And while they’d never directly talked about sexuality, something about Myles told him he was safe.

‘Last weekend, something happened,’ he started, trying to keep his fingers from shaking.

Myles scooted his chair a little closer and gave Oz a look that told him he was listening. And more than that, he was present.

‘My mom invited my ex to my niece’s birthday party,’ Oz said. He glanced away for a beat. Was he really going to do this?To tell someone who wasn’t Ridge? The lie was out there, but the truth could ruin him.

Myles wrinkled his nose. ‘The one who refused to sign?’

That was pretty much anyone Oz had ever dated who wasn’t Deaf, but his dating list was small enough that he could nod his head and not clarify. ‘It was a big barbeque. My mom gathered the crowd and pulled a ring box out of her hand and tried to tell everyone I was going to propose to her.’

Myles slammed back in his chair. ‘What?’

Oz cringed and nodded. ‘I panicked, and I…’ His hand was shaking so hard he had to drop it to his lap for a second.

‘Whatever you did, I have your back,’ Myles told him, holding his gaze.

Oz nodded and bit his lip. ‘A friend of mine was there—the firefighter.’

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