Page 65 of Saving You

‘You look better,’ Ridge signed cautiously. ‘What changed?’

Oz laughed and shrugged, taking a step back. ‘A good night’s sleep and a little rational thinking.’

Well, that was something, Ridge supposed. ‘Do you want to talk?’ He was half-afraid Oz was going to tell him no. To want to go on as they were and see what happened, but Ridge—for all that he did like to go with the flow—couldn’t keep that up. Not with Oz.

‘Let me turn on my hearing so I don’t have to worry about you missing pieces of what I want to say.’

Ridge nodded, but now it was his turn for his stomach to sink. Oz was only flirting with him, but there was a damn good chance he was going to tell Ridge that they needed to keep it physical. That emotional attachments were too much for him—which would only be fair, considering what he’d been through.

But that would kill him a little. No, it would kill him a lot. He’d survive and get through it because his job was to be strong for his daughter, but it wouldn’t be easy. And he wasn’t sure hecould keep it just physical with Oz. Not when all his cards were on the table.

When Oz disappeared, Ridge took a seat in the corner of the couch instead of giving in to his urge to pace. It always felt better when he did, but he needed to be focused and present for Oz. He took a fortifying breath, then thought fuck it and grabbed Oz’s coffee, taking a long drink.

“Eurgh,” he gasped. It was all cream and sugar.

He heard a laugh and looked up to see Oz staring at him with a quirked brow. “I would have warned you first. I only like a little splash of coffee with my creamer.”

“Jesus,” Ridge said with a chuckle. He gave the couch a pat, and Oz crossed back over, resuming his former seat. Instead of curling up, he kicked a foot onto the coffee table and turned to look at Ridge.

“I expected to panic when I woke up and found you were gone, but before I could even take my first breath, I found your note. And then I found your text.”

“Overkill?” Ridge asked, feeling a little silly.

Oz shook his head. “Maybe someday, it will be, but I’m ready to admit I think I’m at my lowest right now, and I do need extra care.”

“I know.” Ridge hated admitting that because he knew how shitty that feeling was, but it was only fair of him to be honest.

“The fact that you’ve paid attention—that you’ve gone out of your way to be careful without making me feel like I’m some pathetic loser—means a lot. It’s why I started falling for you.”

Ridge jolted. Oz hadn’t really said the words last night. He’d begged Ridge not to leave, and he’d clung to him tightly, but the only thing he admitted was that he felt pathetic.

“I think I avoided healthy relationships for a long time because everyone always told me you have to love yourself in order to be loved.”

“Bullshit,” Ridge spat quickly.

Oz laughed. “I know. But I do think not loving yourself lets you settle for people who won’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated.”

Ridge supposed he couldn’t argue with that. Oz had a mountain of evidence in both his ex and his family.

“But I’m ready to love myself. I looked up that therapist’s office and made an appointment. I go in a week from Wednesday for my intake.”

Ridge felt his throat tighten. “Yeah?”

Oz nodded. “I’m tired of feeling like this all the time. I want help being brave enough to tell people no when they go out of their way to hurt me. I don’t care if they’re blood related. I don’t care if I’ve known them half my life. I don’t deserve it.”

“No, sweetheart. No, you don’t.” The pet name tumbled past his lips unchecked, but even when Oz’s face bloomed bright pink, Ridge didn’t take it back.

“Can you be patient with me?”

Ridge sighed, then lifted his hands. ‘I can be patient for you. FOR.’

“Oh,” Oz breathed, almost like he hadn’t realized there was a difference. He bit his lip, then swallowed heavily. “And this…can we still?—”

“Yes.”

“You don’t know what I was going to ask,” Oz said weakly.

“I don’t care,” Ridge answered back, trying and failing to hide his smile. “I don’t care if you ask me for the moon. You want it? It’s yours. I know a guy who used to be an astronaut. I bet he’d hook me up with a rocket.”

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