Page 66 of Saving You

Oz burst into laughter and shifted over until he was pressed against Ridge, thigh to thigh. “I don’t want the moon. I just want this. With you.”

“What does this mean?” Ridge was all nerves now.

Oz shrugged. “I don’t know if I’m ready to put a label on it or tell anyone. But maybe the story I told my parents doesn’t have to be a lie. Not entirely.”

“Not at all,” Ridge told him. He cupped Oz’s jaw. “I’ve had a crush on you for so long. I thought you hated me.”

“I was trying to,” Oz told him, and Ridge winced. “No, not-not hate,” Oz stammered. “But I liked you. You made me want things I wasn’t sure I was ready to want, and I thought it would be easier to get over you if you didn’t like me.”

“So instead of flirting, you were mean?”

“Was I?”

“Cold, then,” Ridge amended. Oz had never been cruel. He’d always been kind, and anytime Ridge looked like he was having a bad day, he checked in. He was kind to his daughter, and he always made sure to tell Ridge he was doing a good job with her. It was why it had been so damn confusing for so long.

Oz’s ears flushed. “Yeah.”

“Is it the kid thing? I mean, you work with kids, but that doesn’t mean you want them.”

Oz let his breath out in a rush. “I never let myself think about it too much. Darcy wanted to use donor sperm because she didn’t want Deaf kids.”

“Oh, what the fuck,” Ridge started, then slapped a hand over his mouth because this was not his outrage.

Oz nodded, his expression a little dark and hurt. “For a while, I was on her side. She kept pointing out how much harder my life was because I was Deaf. And it took me way too long to realize it was harder because people like her made it that way. It didn’t have to be. My family didn’t have to be like this. But they were. They chose it.”

“Oz—”

“It’s fine,” Oz said in a rush. “Really. I mean, I’m okay now.”

“Yeah, but you deserve to be more than okay. You deserve to be with someone who loves you. You deserve to have kids any way you want to have kids.”

Oz swallowed thickly, nodding. “I’m afraid sometimes. That I’ll end up being like them without realizing it.”

“I get that. I, uh…yeah. I didn’t have the best parents, you know? My mom liked booze and drugs more than she ever liked me. My dad checked out years before they were divorced. I’d get a firm backhand if I ever pissed him off, but otherwise, he spent most of my life pretending like I didn’t exist.” The words were hard to say, but Ridge got them out anyway. “But neither of us are broken because of that.”

“No,” Oz said very softly. He turned his body and reached up, cupping Ridge’s cheeks with both hands. “So this is what I want—what I need,” he clarified. “Is that okay?”

“You’re asking if me being here quietly loving on you until you feel ready to tell the world is okay?” Ridge asked. When Oz’s cheeks pinked, he couldn’t help a laugh. He leaned in and stole a soft, lingering kiss. “Yeah, baby. It’s okay.”

This felt like a dream—a reality he’d somehow conjured up all on his own out of desperation and wanting someone he couldn’t have. But as Oz kissed him for a second time, Ridge allowed himself a moment to not just bask in the gift he was given but hope that it would last for a long, long time.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

OZ

It feltweird that life went back to normal—whatever normal was. For weeks, Oz couldn’t help but look around every corner. He kept expecting something bad to happen.

The other shoe to drop right on his head when he was least expecting it.

He was happy, and happiness led to dropping his guard, and that was always dangerous. But eventually, he did let himself breathe. He let himself enjoy the time he got with Ridge and Ina. He let himself settle back into work and to stop thinking so much about Darcy and his family.

Which was what the universe had been waiting for, apparently. He’d gone for an after-work coffee with Myles so they could grade papers together while spending too much on luxury drinks, and after Myles left, he stayed for one more scone since Frey was on his way over with Rex.

Oz was doing movie night with Rex since the theater up the road had finally started doing open-caption movies and Rex was currently struggling with his English comprehension. Oz figured it was a great way to help him out since it was an older movie Rex had seen about three dozen times at home, and his dad usually interpreted the dialogue for him.

He glanced at the text from Frey letting him know they were heading to the café, and then he switched over to his text thread with Ridge and couldn’t stop himself from smiling. It was getting harder and harder to keep the reality of their relationship a secret. Oz was in love with him. He hadn’t used those words yet—not in English or in ASL—but he wanted to.

He found them dancing at the tip of his tongue and tingling at the edge of his fingers every time Ridge had him spread out and begging for more. Which happened a lot. The begging. Oz found it came easily, especially because Ridge didn’t ever torment him for long.