Page 38 of Saving You

RIDGE

He wantedto say that he stayed over. That he pinned Oz to the couch and showed him exactly how good it could be with a man. Hell, he would have taken curling up together and making out with him for hours like he’d once done with his secret high school boyfriend.

But he could tell Oz needed time and space away from everything. Ridge had come over to talk to him about Grady. He hadn’t expected to overhear Oz grunting his name while he jerked off in the shower. And he hadn’t expected the ambush right before that.

He knew Oz hadn’t either.

They kissed once more, and then Ridge got up and cleared away their plates, packing up the leftovers and putting them into Oz’s tragically empty fridge. He almost said something about how the man needed to start taking better care of himself, but that was a lecture that could wait for a day when Oz wasn’t emotionally wrecked.

Instead, Ridge touched his jaw, then kissed him one final time before letting himself out. He waited on the doorstep until he heard the click of the lock and the slide of the chain, and thenhe did a quick up-and-down glance of the street to make sure his mom and sister weren’t hovering in a parking spot nearby.

Nothing looked suspicious, so he jumped in his car and headed for Lane’s street. He’d gotten a text a few hours before letting him know that they were all in the backyard. It had become the gathering place since Adele’s house had burnt down, and he and Kash were still renting while they designed their new place.

The remains of Adele’s house had been cleared away, and the lot was still empty as Kash and Adele decided if they wanted to rebuild there or start over somewhere different. Ridge understood what they were going through. He’d never been in a fire like that—he’d never lost everything—but he saw it far too often with his job.

He didn’t always get to see the emotional aftermath, but it didn’t take a strong imagination to figure out how it would feel to stand on the edge of what was and what would be. And it felt strange to see the grass-covered dirt mounds all over and know that a house had once stood there.

Not just that, but a home. A life. Gage’s childhood. And the place that Kash and Adele had finally come together.

His chest ached a little with secondary grief as he parked on the street and made his way to the side gate. He could hear chatter and music and the occasional screams of kids. He could easily pick Ina’s out—her own a little deeper and rougher than Briar’s.

He felt the sudden urge to lift her into his arms and squeeze her in an attempt to make sure nothing ever hurt her the way Oz had been hurt. He still couldn’t wrap his mind around the fact that Oz’s mom and sister treated him the way they did.

They had to know how much pain they were causing. He didn’t try to hide it, so how could they live with themselvesknowing they were the cause of it? How could they sleep at night?

Christ.

“Yo!”

Ridge blinked. He’d made his way to the porch on autopilot, and Adele’s voice dragged him out of his thoughts. He managed a weak smile as he took the empty chair beside the love seat where Kash and Adele were cuddling.

There was still envy in his chest, but it was less now that he had something with Oz. Not that he was going to tell anyone that. But it was still hard to see Adele and Kash curled up together, Adele’s fingers gently toying with his husband’s hair. It was hard to see the rings on their fingers and the love in their eyes when they glanced at each other.

He wanted that with a ferocity that was hard to manage, even if he knew he wasn’t in the right place for it. And the fear he might never be was even worse than the envy.

Kicking his feet up, he attempted to look casual, but he could tell from the expression on Adele’s face he was failing miserably.

“You wanna talk about it, or is this some silent existential crisis?” Adele asked after a long beat.

Ridge rolled his eyes, then grunted loudly when Frey walked over and dropped into his lap. “Come on, baby. Spill your guts. Life has gotten boring.”

Ridge glanced across the yard, where Briar, Rex, and Ina were crouched over something in the grass. All three of them were signing with their tiny little hands, and it made his chest feel warm. And then it made him feel cold when he remembered Oz had been denied that for too long.

“There it is again,” Adele said.

Ridge rubbed a hand down his face and glanced over at Lane, who put his hands up in surrender. “Don’t look at me.They spent all evening grilling me for work drama. They’re desperate.”

Ridge took a breath, then said, “This stays between us. And I mean that. Trusted dad circle and no one else.”

“Should I call Dallas and Bronx?” Frey asked, shifting off Ridge’s lap and moving to the free chair beside him.

“It’s nothing to do with us. I just want to make sure this doesn’t get out.”

“Scout’s honor,” Adele said.

Ridge rolled his eyes because if anyone had been an actual scout, it would have been Adele. “So, you know how I went to that party at Oz’s parents’ house?”

Frey’s face fell. “Oh, shit. I almost forgot about that. How bad was it?”

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