Page 61 of Saving You

“You don’t have to be weird about it,” Oz said, removing his wrist from Ridge’s hand. He took another step backward, and now he really did wish he had clothes on. “This thing between us wasn’t real, and that’s fine. You don’t need to try and spare my feelings because you want to stop it. I shouldn’t have dragged you into it to begin with. Give me a second to get dressed, and then you can head out.”

“Oz, I?—”

He couldn’t bear to hear more. Saying all that was hard enough. He yanked his processors off and stuck them on the table, then snagged his clothes from the floor before hurrying out of the room. He swore he felt footsteps behind him, but when he closed the guest bathroom door after darting inside, the vibrations stopped.

He waited a breath. He held a tiny flicker of hope that Ridge was going to follow him—that he’d burst into the bathroom and kiss Oz silly and tell him that he was wrong. That Ridge was in love with him and this was what he wanted.

But there was only silence and stillness on the other side of the door.

He almost laughed. Then he almost cried. In the end, he simply got dressed, then washed his hands again in hopes of erasing the lingering smell of Ridge from his skin. Maybe, if he was very, very lucky, he’d come out of the bathroom, and Ridge would be gone.

He could figure out his car later. He could get an Uber or text Myles for a ride. Anything was better than facing Ridge right now. He needed time to compose himself and not look like some heartbroken fool.

He took a breath and opened the door and froze. Ridge was standing there, and his face looked devastated. He swallowed heavily, then lifted his hand and signed Oz’s name.

His heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest, which was so absurd. They weren’t dating. They’d slept together twice, and tonight, Ridge hadn’t even come. This was not love. This was absolutely and totally not love.

‘I made a mistake.’

Yes. Yes, all of this was one giant mistake.

‘I didn’t mean to patronize you,’ Ridge told him with a mix of signs and fingerspelling. His spelling was sloppy from his stiff,shaking hand. ‘You deserve better than that. I know you’ve been through too much. But I didn’t want you to feel obligated.’

His heart was beating a little too fast again. ‘Obligated to what?’

Ridge’s mouth curved up into a sad smile. ‘Care about me the way I care about you.’

For a moment, Oz was sure the universe had switched. Up was down, left was right, backward was forward. He could not be reading those signs right.

Ridge didn’t wait for him to answer. ‘I can tell you’ve spent your whole life doing what you can to make other people happy without worrying about yourself. You do it for people who don’t deserve you.’

That hurt, but mostly because it was the truth. And also because he understood what Ridge was implying—even if that wasn’t what he meant. Oz did do it for people who didn’t deserve him, but he rarely opened up for the people who did.

‘I understand why you avoided getting close to me. I was hurt back then, but I didn’t realize how bad everything was.’

Oz quickly shook his head. ‘It wasn’t as bad as this before.’

‘But you knew it could be,’ Ridge countered, and yeah, that was fair. ‘I saw your face tonight when you were comforting Grady in spite of being torn to shreds inside. I didn’t want to add another burden to that.’

Oz swallowed heavily. ‘What burden?’

‘Knowing that I’m falling for you,’ Ridge said. He used an older sign for falling in love that Oz hadn’t seen except on the hands of one of his older ASL teachers back in school. It almost made him laugh, but the fact that Ridge was using it was enough. He couldn’t possibly mean it. And yet…there it was, hovering between them.

Oz leaned against the doorframe. His knees felt weak. ‘I thought you were trying to end things.’

‘I know. I just don’t understand why.’

‘Grady,’ he said.

Ridge looked even more confused. ‘What?’

‘You and Grady. I thought you were in love with him. It makes sense.’

Ridge stared, then suddenly burst into laughter. Oz swore he could feel the sound hitting him in the chest as Ridge nearly doubled over, and the pain of being mocked hit him like a blow to the chest. He started to take a step back, fumbling for the door, but Ridge caught him before he could and yanked him close.

‘No,’ he mouthed, shaking his head.

Oz couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe.

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