Every hand in the room goes up apart from Ed’s and the two men that have been walking in and out of the front door. Noticing me watching, Amelia catches my attention. “That’s Sting and Specs. Specs is usually in his office but if you look closely you can see he has one of those things in his ear, so he’s still technically in charge and connected to his office.”
I’m not sure what the heck she is talking about but I nod as though I understand and quickly turn my attention back to Mia, “I’m not an Ol’ Lady, Mia, I’m only…”
Now before I can finish, Mia laughs, “We all thought the same thing, but it just means you are Mav’s woman now, and you’ve just been voted in with the girl gang, so what’s your poison…hog or trike?”
My eyes flick to Ed, who is sitting with his mouth open. I place a finger under his chin and gently push upward to close it, and he snaps out of it, shaking his head to clear what can only be the confusion I’m feeling.
“What do you mean hog or trike?” Ed asks, and I look back at Mia because I’m not following this topic of conversation either.
“Well, Blake is officially a girl gang member now, so she needs to ride her own hog, you know Harley Davidson motorcycle, or trike, which is a three wheeled HD.” Mia explains, looking like she’s doing her best to stay calm and patient.
“Um, I’m not sure about that because I’ve never thought about riding or owning a motorcycle.” I reply, giving everyone what must be a panicked look. Destiny who has been watching all this drops in a comment. “I don’t have one because girl, I’m a lethal weapon if I climb on one of those things. I have my pickup and I ride bitch with any of the others. Believe me it’s safest for everyone that way.”
“Hm, I’ll speak to Mav about it at another time. I’m not at a stage where I can afford one right now anyway.” I grimace as I throw that out, because it’s not nice letting people know you are about dollarless.
A squeal has us quickly looking towards the pole, and see everyone helping Raven to her feet. Now, I’m not sure what has happened but she is wobbly on her legs and Star helps her back to her seat with us.
“What happened?” Destiny asks.
“Fell on my head, but don’t worry, it’ll be fine. If I keep getting blurred vision tomorrow I’ll get Stitch to take a look at me.” Raven gives a very lopsided grin as she sits with her eyes closed.
“Open your eyes, you don’t want to be passing out. I’m going to get Stitch to come back early in case you have a concussion.” Mia takes out her phone from under the neck of her tee, and out of her bra.
I’m watching it all with a sense of wonder, because it’s like I’ve dropped down Alice’s rabbit hole. Everyone is doing something different by the look of it. Nobody is worried about the danger that pole could bring, and Mia is demanding someone called Stitch get his arse back to the clubhouse pronto, and yes, she said arse!
Ed pushes another sandwich in his mouth, and keeps looking around the room as he does. I think he’s as shocked at how this evening is going as I am. Turning my eyes to the side I see Ed doing the same to me, and I let out a little giggle, not able to hold it back. I think it’s called hysteria, but I’m not sure.
Ed pats my hand before gripping it as though he is holding onto a lifeline as much as I am. “It’ll be okay, Blake, I’m here with you for this whackadoodle journey.”
Now, Ed saying that is the last straw and I bust out laughing. I laugh so long and so hard I’m holding my stomach while tears are freely flowing down my cheeks. The whole room is watchingmy display, but every single person is smiling at me, obviously enjoying the show I’m putting on.
From that point the evening flows nicely, and Jo surprises everyone when she has some nice stripper pole moves. She can climb that thing and flip upside down, without falling on her head. Turns out she’s done some pole lessons so she could write about it accurately in one of her books. Seems her character had sex while with a pole too, but I cover Ed’s ears when the nitty gritty details start flying. Ed however is very amused with it all, and keeps wiggling his ears under my hands.
Sting runs into the common room, and shouts, “Everyone take notice. We have intruders coming in from the south. They’ll make their way to the front door in about six minutes.”
“Okay, so how many?” Star asks, while Winter takes a step to the side of her.
“I think three, and they look like Milanas men.” Sting turns to leave, but Star grabs his arm and stops him.
“What if we entice the fuckers in, then take them out?”
“How?” Sting asks.
“Well, if one of us ladies entice them from a distance through the door, then as soon as they clear the entrance we jump the fuckers.” Star is looking around as though this is the best idea she ever had, but damn everyone is nodding agreement. Even Ed is agreeing, I’m gonna kill him later.
“I’ll entice.” The woman named Gemmy states, and wiggles her hips as she offers to be the guinea pig to slaughter.
“Okay, take your places ladies, and grab something to use as a weapon.” Mia states, but yanks up her pants leg to show she has an ankle holster with a small pistol of some kind in it.
Holy mother of God, what do we have here? Weapons, and I mean weapons because more of the women are showing they have a weapon hidden somewhere on their body. I grab Ed’s hand and drag us to the back of the room, well away from all these psychotic women.
“It’s okay, Blake. We all have our permit to carry.” Mia grins what can only be described as gleeful. Then she shouts to Amelia, “Meli, take the kids to the playroom, and I’ll come in a few when this shit show is over.”
“No problem, Mia.” Amelia picks up Summer from a stroller on one side of the room, while Sybil and Bitty grab a child each and force the twins to go with them.
We, meaning Ed and I stand back and watch Gemmy do this enticing act, and she spouts some bullcrap to whoever is outside. But unbeknown to them outside the walls, inside the room here is lined with women who have guns, knives and even a cane. Now I think I recognize that…isn’t it the one Amelia uses?
A man saunters into the room with two men behind him, and I’m telling you I didn’t have time to spit before they were on the ground, with a woman kneeling on their back holding them down while others are tying them up and stuffing something in their mouths.