Page 70 of Quasim II: King Inferno

When I was pregnant with my son, I had slight morning sickness. If I smelled something, then I felt like I had to throw up, but I didn’t wake up puking like I did now.

“I need to get out the house and get some fresh air… plus, you want to see whatFernis about.”

The Inferno Gods was Synthia’s newest obsession. I don’t think it was the Inferno Gods, it was Havoc particularly, that had all her attention. That weekend she stayed up at the lake house, Havoc had slept on the couch because they were in the backyard talking all night.

Their conversations were a mix of talking and sign language. When I went out there to grab Elijah for bath time, I saw Havoc had taken his ears off, and they were holding a conversation. I loved the way that Havoc looked at Synthia. She was the silly to his serious, and he needed that.

“We can have a few drinks and have a chill night… well, you can have juice.” We exited the garage with Syn driving. I couldn’t even think of driving right now.

I looked out the window and saw Kincaid riding beside us. It never mattered where I was going, Quasim was going to make sure the Gods went with me everywhere. “Or, do you wanna see if Havoc is atFerntonight?”

“Maybe.”

I loved that Synthia didn’t deny that she was checking for Havoc. She was straight forward that she was interested in him. “Synthia has a crush.”

“Does he have a girlfriend or someone? I asked and he said he has a friend… what does that even mean?”

“Means he’s fucking her, but there’s no relationship there.”

“That is never the case. Someone always catches feelings, and the dynamic never works.” She ran her hand through her freshly curled hair.

“What about you? You all in his business, do you have anybody?”

She smiled. “For the first time in my life, I don’t have anybody. I’ve always put a man before me… always worried about who I was with him. Always changing myself to fit the aesthetic of whatever man I was with. My ex-boyfriend was a cop, so he always turned his nose up at the fact that I have tattoos. Any little dinner we had to attend, he would make me wear a long sleeve dress to try and hide them. B, he even made a consultation appointment for me to have laser done.”

“Oh hell.”

“Every boyfriend wasn’t the same, not in the sense of wanting me to remove my tattoos. They all wanted to change me into what they wanted me to be, and I did what they wanted. I forgot who I was and lost myself in relationships.”

“I know exactly what you mean.” I could agree with Synthia so much when it came to that. When you thought you found your person, you wanted to be everything they wanted you to be. Before losing my hair to chemo, I remember Tyshawnmentioned he liked women with sandy brown hair. I went and dyed my hair and came home looking like a damn acorn, just to please him.

“Every time I break up with someone, I always end up in another relationship without taking time for myself. This time, I decided that I was going to date me and fall back in love with myself. No sex, no useless conversations unless it’s about a future. Me and my son deserve to have a man love us both.”

“You have a kid, Syn?”

“Beaky Smalls… hello?”

“Girl!” I fell out laughing because she had never mentioned kids, but you never knew. “I love that you are taking the time to fall back in love with you.”

“Girl, I already fell back in love with myself and have touched myself enough. I’m ready for a man now… my last relationship was almost two years ago. I’m ready to be flipped around and choked the fuck up.”

“Synthia!” I choked.

“What? First step of falling back in love with yourself and going on a self-journey is to be honest.”

I heaved as I laughed because she was so serious. “Baby, you are tiny compared to Havoc… he literally swallows you.”

“And I can swallow, too.”

“Synthia!” I shoved her as we both laughed while pulling up toFern.

Synthia wanting to come toFernand getting out the house was a good idea. Capri and Zoya were both busy, so having someone to hang with to get my mind off everything was needed. Quasim had something to handle, and Elijah was having a sleepover with Capone and CJ. They were camping in the backyard since this was their last weekend at the lake house before going back to the compound.

After his seizure, Erin wasn’t playing around with him. He was supposed to take them to a camp site, and she shut that idea down and planned this entire backyard camping site for the boys back there.

I couldn’t believe summer was gone and fall was coming in already. When the summer started, I didn’t think that me and Quasim would ever end up together. I figured he would continue to play games, and then eventually, I would continue with whoever wasn’t playing games.

As I stared at my engagement ring, carrying a gut full of his baby, things turned out differently than I imagined. Soon as we entered, I saw Havoc behind the bar, pouring a drink while having a conversation.

---