Page 43 of Dutch

The question hung between us. "Even when you drive me crazy, I've always respected you."

She grinned. "The feelings are mutual, big man."

I paused, knowing I needed to say my next words carefully. "Listen, I know things between us are complicated… we have history, but I need you to trust me. Can you do that?"

Makari's eyes dropped to the floor, and when he looked at me, her vulnerability caught me off guard. "I want to, but every time I let my guard down…"

"I know," I interjected. I was tired of making promises. Right now, I would move heaven and earth for her, and that scared me.

We fell into silence, and I knew she was trying to read me, but I forced myself to hold her gaze. Before I could second-guess myself, I moved close to her and wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my chest. Makari stiffened for a second but then melted into my embrace. Her hands gripped the back of my leather jacket.

I buried my face in her hair. "I got you love."

I felt her nod against my chest. I reluctantly released Makari, and my fingers lingered on her arm. "Stay here. I gotta handle something."

She nodded. I turned away before I lost my nerve.

I found Saint. "I know you have doubts about me, but we have bigger fish to fry."

Saint scoffed. "You went off half-cocked, putting your brothers at risk for what a piece of?—"

"Choose your next word carefully, brother."

The room went silent as we squared up, waiting to see how it played out. Saint didn't back down, but I saw a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.

"Jahlil's making moves. He thinks he can come at us sideways and pick us off one by one. The way he got to Diesel, he found a way to penetrate us from the inside out. Now he's working on turning us against each other. It will make it easier for them to overtake us," I warned, addressing the entire room now. "We're the Sons of Shadows. We don't back down. It's us or them, and I'd be damned if I let Jahlil take this from me."

"We move tonight," Saint declared, even though he was ready to rip me a new one a few minutes ago.

"I want eyes on every corner of Jahlil's territory. Find his weak spots and exploit them," I commanded.

"Let's light these motherfuckers up like the Fourth of July!" Rico declared.

I leaned forwardin the leather chair to pull the ledger from my bag. I opened it and adjusted my eyes to read the cramped handwriting like I was reading Braille.

"What were you hiding, big bro?" I muttered.

I flipped a few pages, trying to figure out where to start. It was like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle in the dark. I flipped another page, and my heart fluttered when I noticed Jahlil's name next to Darian's.

"I'll be damned. Y'all thought you were slick, huh?"

My mind raced faster than a crackhead at the buffet as I connected dots. Everywhere that a line was drawn, another one was next to Jahlil's. For the first time, I felt like I might actually get some answers since Malakai died.

I kept digging. How deep did the damn rabbit hole go? I wondered. The ledger was spilling secrets, and I was soaking them up. My thoughts were interrupted by raised voices from outside the office. Dutch's baritone cut through with anger.

I hated the way my being here was affecting him and the brotherhood they once shared. Still, Dutch played some role in all of this. I just didn't know how or why yet. Yet, on the other hand, Dutch was different. He saw through my bull shit with those pretty ass eyes.

I wanted to know what it would be like to actually be with someone in a relationship, not just with someone who felt like my protector. Dutch was in the MC world the same world that got Malakai killed.

As I sat there conflicted with my thoughts and this ledger, my phone buzzed. I unlocked the screen and saw a message from Jahlil.

Jahlil:

You can't play both sides. I promise Dutch and that whole club burns if you cross me.

"Shit," I hissed, dropping my phone on the desk. My vision blurred when I realized I was crying.

Jahlil's threats usually didn't scare me, but this felt different. I've managed to get targets on everyone's back. I glanced at the door, trying to figure out what to do. One thing was for sure. I didn't want to drag Dutch and the MC any deeper into my mess.