Page 9 of Dutch

"I gotta know what I'm up against because it's clear whatever happened between you and Jahlil, he's not letting it go. Feel me?"

Makari's eyes flashed my way. "I've been handling my own for years, Dutch. You don't have to swoop in like a leather-clad superhero."

A smirk tugged at my mouth. "Superheroes don't always wear tights."

She scoffed. "Your ego is so big you'd have to add tights and a cape to the mix."

"So, what you're saying is you've dreamed about me saving the day in tights," I teased.

Makari shrugged. "Maybe, except you weren't so mouthy in my dreams."

I clutched my chest. "Damn, you wounded me. I thought you liked my mouth." I licked my lips.

I swear she drooled, and the air was thick between us. "If I can recall, your mouth has gotten us into trouble."

A memory of a stolen kiss flashed in my mind, reminding me of the promises to each other we couldn't keep. I pushed the thoughts away, focusing on the now. I redirected the conversation back to safer ground.

"Let's make a deal. Tell me the deal with Jahlil, and I'll keep you safe. No bullshit, no strings, just me watching your back like old times."

Trust had never come easy, but I could tell Makari was at war with herself. I leaned in, and my hand moved to brush a loc from her face, but reality hit me like a bucket of ice, and I jerked back, remembering the patch on my jacket.

Shit, what was I doing?

"Dutch?" Makari's voice questioned, but I looked away before I did something stupid.

"We can't. This isn't about us anymore," I muttered to myself more than to her.

Makari's face hardened, and her walls went back up. "Of course, I wouldn't want to compromise your leadership."

Her words stung, but she was right. I ran a hand down my face in order to get my head right. "You know I care, but it's not like that?—"

"I know the club comes first, always will, always has."

It was complicated, and I wanted to argue my truth, but the problem was she was right. That was the problem.

"With Jahlil gunning for you, I can't let you walk away. You're staying right here where I can keep an eye on you."

Makari's eyebrows shot up. "You don't have the right to decide?—"

"It's not up for debate." I cut in, my tone firm, leaving no room for further discussion. "End of story. It doesn't mean I'm excited about it, but it's how it's going to be."

She glared at me with the fire I always loved in her eyes, yet it felt like she was relieved. I think she knew she needed me even though she wouldn't admit it.

"Fine, but this doesn't change anything between us," she spat out.

I did my best to ignore the twist in my gut and nodded.

"I need another beer. Do you want anything?" I asked.

"No, I'm good."

I stood to walk away, and it hit me that I'd made a choice for better or worse, and now I had to keep it from blowing up in my face.

I stayedin the back of the club, nursing my bourbon, trying to stay off the radar. The bass of the music and the flashing lights thrummed through me. This wasn't my scene anymore, but I had to do what I had to do.

The song switched to "Every Little Thing I Do," and suddenly, I was fifteen again, sitting on the couch between Malakai and Jahlil.

My brother threw his arm over my shoulder.