Page 25 of Dutch

"Shit," I grunted as I pushed in deeply and held my stance as I released.

I carried her to the bedroom, where we went in for another round. I couldn't bring myself to worry about the consequences, not today.

With Makari's body keeping me warm, I stared at the ceiling, trying to make sense of my emotions.

"You're thinking out loud."

I chuckled. "I gotta stay on top of my game."

Makari propped herself up on a pillow. "Do you have regrets, Dutch?" she asked.

"Nah, not at all. It's just I wish it came without complications."

"Truth."

I scrubbed a hand down my face. "Look at the shit with Jahlil?—"

She cut me off. "Can we not, at least for a few minutes?"

I lifted my hands, conceding. "I hear you."

After a few minutes of silence, Makari traced the tattoo on my bicep.

"I can't stay away even when I know I should," I admitted.

"Same, big man," she replied.

I grabbed Makari's hand, pressed a kiss to her palm, and pulled her close to me.

Dutch was snoring,dead to the world, as I slid out of bed. Goosebumps formed on my arms in the cool air. Unable to sleep, I headed to the living room when my eyes caught sight of Dutch's burner phone on the end table. Suddenly, I felt like a kid before Christmas, wanting to peek inside a package.

"Fuck it." I snatched it up, still curious about the video Dutch wouldn't allow me to see earlier.

I quickly tapped messages and opened the first one. There was a video, and I tapped the triangle play button. The footage was grainy, but I damn near dropped the phone when I saw that crooked smile.

"Malakai?" I whispered, my voice breaking.

That's impossible. Malakai's dead. I had his ashes, or did I? I mourned him and carried the loss for years, so my eyes had to be deceiving me. The person's eyes were swollen shut, and shit, this could be an old video. I just didn't know. What did Dutch know, and had he been lying to me?

I paused the video and zoomed in to attempt to see the person's face. This person looked harder and older.What the hell? Is this you, bro?I traced his features with a shaky finger.

If Malakai was alive, why didn't he come back? A thousand questions swirled through my mind. I swiped at my angry tears.I didn't want to break down because I needed answers, but confronting Dutch would also show that I snooped and wasn't ready to break his trust completely. I blew out air because nothing could have prepared me to see my dear brother come to life.

When I heard Dutch moving around in the bedroom, I quickly shut off the phone and placed it where I found it. I then entered the kitchen, looking for the coffee. Lord knew I needed it.

I found the coffee grounds, added them to the coffeemaker, and filled the coffee pot with water.

I paced the floor, unable to shake the images from the video.What if it wasn't him?But I knew my mind was calling bullshit. I wanted to wake Dutch so bad and demand the truth, but I knew I had to be smart about this. I chewed my bottom lip in contemplation.

When the coffee was finished, I sat on the couch, still at odds with myself. My ultimate decision was to put on my poker face and wait. This time, I heard Dutch moving around for real.

"Yo, sleepyhead, want some coffee?" I headed for the kitchen, not waiting for a reply. I reached for a mug, determined to play my role. My hand shook as I poured the coffee.

"Damn it."

"Morning, babe." His voice was groggy, and I couldn't help eyeing the tats on his chest.

"Hey," I greeted, sharply aware of the mess I made.

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