Page 75 of Deal Takers

She winks. “Give me just a minute. I’ll put these in the front of the queue.”

Drew waits until she’s out of earshot before he speaks. “I guess one benefit to your affliction for barmaids is we never have to wait for drinks.”

“Formeraffliction,” I correct. Damn, I need to find a new place to hang out—one where I haven’t slept with half the staff.

“So, what are you going to do?” Riley pops a mozzarella stick in his mouth.

“I have no fucking clue. But it starts with more whiskey.”

Drew laughs as Cara returns with said whiskey. “Well, drink up, buddy. It’s on me.”

He’s probably going to regret offering that.

Yep, you’ve guessed it—I don’t stop until the bartender cuts me off. And really, I should’ve quit two rounds ago. I’m going to pay for this tomorrow.

“I fucking love her, man,” I slur. “I’min fucking lovewith her! What am I supposed to do with that?”

“Call her and tell her,” Drew suggests.

Riley left after our third round, claiming all this talk about the magic pussy made him anxious to get home to his fiancée. Now it’s just Drew and I, drunk as fuck. We’re both big dudes, so it takesa lotof alcohol to get to this point. I don’t think either one of us have been this shitfaced since our days in the frat house.

“She’s working overnights this week,” I say.

“So? Leave a voicemail. She can’t change the subject if she’s not on the other end of the line.”

Maybe it’s the whiskey talking, but that’s actually pretty brilliant. I can’t dig my phone out of my pocket fast enough.

My ears perk up when her voicemail greeting plays.

“Hey, this is Rainey. Leave a message after the tone, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”

I go for it as soon as I hear the beep.

“Rainey, it’s me. Brody. God, hopefully you’d recognize my voice otherwise what I’m about to say is really fucked up. But I don’t think itisfucked up, because it feels right. Ya know? So hopefully you already knew it was me. Anyway…I’m not going to let you distract me with sex! Not that I don’t like the sex, becauseChrist, sex with you is out-of-this-world hot. There’s nothing better in existence than sinking into your warm, wet pussy. But that’s not what I called to say. Fuck, you’re even distracting me with sex without even being here because I’m thinking about it.

“Okay…back to the subject. I don’t want to be friends with benefits anymore. When I think about it, I never did. You’re not a fuck-and-chuck type of girl. You’re a take-back-home kind of girl. Like, I actually want you to meet my crazy family because I know they’d love you almost as much as I do. Yeah, you heard me right.I love you, Lorraine O’Neil. I’ve fucking loved you for years! I don’t want any otherwomen.You’re the goddamn magic pussy! Don’t you get that? All I’m asking is for a?—”

BEEP!

“Damn it! Her voicemail cut me off.”

“Call it back, man,” Drew suggests. “You’re doing good. Pure fucking poetry.”

I grin as I dial her again and wait for the tone. It was pretty great, wasn’t it?

BEEP!

“Okay, Rainey. It’s me again. Your stupid voicemail hung up on me. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I got it. I’m just asking for you to give me a chance, baby.A real chance. I know Adam fucked with your head, but if you keep closing yourself off because you’re scared, then he wins.Don’t let him win, Rainey!

“You’re it for me. I want you and only you. And I know you feel the same.I know it…you understand this insane connection we have because you’re right there with me, baby. You just need to gather the courage to admit it. I want forever with you. You want babies? Well, I want to knock you up and see your giant belly carrying my child.Oh my god, your tits are going to be even more incredible when you’re pregnant.Fuck. Now I’m getting hard thinking about it. Shit, where was I?

“Oh, yeah…so our cover’s blown. Riley and Drew know all the details now, too. And I’m sorry about that, but I didn’t outright tell them—they figured it out. You know what? No, I’mnotsorry. I fuckingwantthem to know. I wanteveryoneto know! Justplease,give me a fucking chance. I know you think I’m an ass, but I promiseI’ll fucking cherish you, Rainey. And I’ll keep the orgasms coming.See what I did there? Orgasms…coming? Getting off track again. Anyway, just hear me out. Just give me a chance. So…yeah. I guess that’s it. Call me back when you get off work.”

I press the END button and take a deep breath. It feels like an anvil has been lifted off my chest.

“Jesus, Brody. Not gonna lie, dude. I’m getting a chub. If Rainey won’t give you a shot, I might be willing to give it a try. But just a forewarning, you’d have to be the bottom.”

“Fuck you, man,” I slur. “I amso nota bottom. Also, we both like pussy. Remember?”

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