Page 8 of Deal Takers

I hang up the phone and look down at my lap. Imagine that, my good ol’ buddy, Drew, works wonders on deflating an erection. Oh well, at least I can get shit done now.

CHAPTER 6

Rainey

“I can’t believe what a little champ he is with nursing,” Devyn declares with a loving smile as she watches her son suckling her breast.

“He’s a natural,” I agree. “And so are you, Mama.”

“Do you really think so?”

“I really do,” I assure her.

She pulls him away when he’s had enough and props him against her shoulder. “Thank you, Rainey. I’m starting to believe that it does get easier once your instincts kick in. The only part I’m really struggling with—well, besides feeling like a zombie all the time—is getting him to burp after he feeds. I can never seem to get a good one out of him, and the poor thing has been having the worst gas pains.”

I open my arms, gesturing for her to pass me the baby. “May I?”

She hands him over. “Be my guest.”

I hold Nathan to my chest with his chin resting on myshoulder. “I like to rub the back a bit to put a little pressure on the abdomen before I start patting. Sometimes babies just need a slightly firmer hand.”

I demonstrate by rubbing circles on his back, and then I give him a few good thwacks between the shoulder blades.

BURRRP!

Devyn beams when her son releases a belch worthy of a frat house. I, however, tense up when I feel the unmistakable sign of spit-up running down my backandmy front.Damn, how much did this kid drink?

“He did it!” Devyn shouts excitedly.

“He did,” I agree.

She notices the mess he’s made all over my blouse and takes him from me. “Oh, Rainey! I’m so sorry. I should’ve given you the burp cloth before handing him over! You’re soaked.”

I hold my shirt away from my skin. “Yeah, he got me pretty good. I don’t suppose you have a top I could borrow?”

Devyn gets up from the bed and retrieves a T-shirt from her dresser. “Of course. This will probably be a little tight in the bust, but it should work.”

I grab the tee and walk toward the door leading to the hallway. Devyn likes to nurse in her bedroom, so she doesn’t have to be in the same room as her brother while feeding. I keep telling her breastfeeding is perfectly natural, but both she and Drew insist that he doesnotneed an accidental boob shot. The nurse side of me thinks she’s being silly, but the woman with five brothers totally gets it. I wouldn’t want a nip slip around any of them, and I’m positive they’d tell you the same.

“I’m going to change in the bathroom so I can rinse this out.”

“I’d be happy to throw it in the washer,” she offers.

I shake my head. “It’ll be fine if I can just run some water over it for now. I’m sure you have enough laundry on your hands with that little guy.”

She chuckles. “This is true.”

“I’ll be right back.”

I step into the hall and head over to the bathroom across the way. Once the door is closed, I widen the neck of my blouse as I lift it over my head, so I don’t get chunky breastmilk in my hair. Sadly, I get a lot of practice doing this at work. Labor & Delivery is messy business, folks.

The spit-up is a force to be reckoned with, as a simple rinse does not do the job. I wind up scrubbing with some hand soap and a good amount of elbow grease before I feel confident the stain won’t set before I get home.

“Holy fuck!” a deep voice shouts.

I jump and make a feeble attempt to cover my breasts with my arms. “What the hell?”

Standing in the doorway is none other than Mr. Viagra from the ER.

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