Page 80 of Deal Takers

Oh, who the fuck am I kidding?

I would’ve made a move if she hadn’t already beat me to it. Probably not too long after wemade the fucking deal that will seemingly haunt me forever. And I know, without a doubt, she would’ve reciprocated. There’s so much goddamn passion between us that it’s impossible to ignore. The worst part of all of this is the wondering and the what-ifs. Is she as miserable as I am? Or has she already moved on, pretending I didn’t mean anything to her? What if I hadn’t put so much pressure on her? What if I would’ve played along with herno feelingsinvolvedcharade until she decided she couldn’t fake it anymore? Almost immediately after she left my apartment, I called the guys and enacted the “No discussing Rainey” rule, unless it’s to give me a heads up she’ll be with them, so I don’t accidentally show up.

I’m not gonna lie. It’s been hard…and a bit awkward inconveniencing my friends like this, but they’ve been pretty great about the whole thing. I haven’t run into her once since that day. I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good thing.

“Unca’ Drew! Can Brody come with us to the park?”

Drew is spending Sunday afternoon with his nephew to give his sister and Riley some time alone. As pathetic as it is, seeing the two of them interact has been the highlight of my week. This kid’s amusing as hell and watching Drew trying not to cuss around Nate will never get old. They now have two swear jars—the original that still sits on top of Drew’s fridge, and a new one at Riley and Devyn’s place. Whenever Dreworthe kid swear, Drew has to put a dollar in the jar. It’s probably the most basic, yet most effective, college savings plan in the world.

“Uh…no, buddy. Brody probably wants to head home before then.”

“No, I don’t,” I say. “I’m down for a trip to the park.”

It’s gotta be better than being left alone to wallow.

Drew gives me a sympathetic look and nervously rubs the back of his neck. “Uh…actually, man, you probably don’t want to do that. We’re meetingsomeonethere. She’s taking Nate to dinner then bringing him home afterward.”

“Oh…okay. Maybe some other time.”

Nate tugs on my hand to get my attention. “Aunt Wainey is taking me to Old McDonald’s for Happy Meals! Do you like Happy Meals?”

“Sure, dude. Happy Meals are the best.”

“She gives me the toy from her Happy Meal so I gettwoOld McDonald’s toys!” he says. “I love my Aunt Wainey.”

Yeah, me too, little man. Me too.

Drew clears his throat. “We should actually get going. I told her we’d be there by four.”

“That’s cool. I think I’m gonna hit the gym.”

I get off the recliner and rub a hand over Nathan’s head to mess up his hair. “I’ll see you later, dude. Be good.”

He wraps his little body around my leg. “Bye, duth-bag!”

“Damn it,” Drew mutters as he digs out his wallet. “Nathan, don’t say douchebag. Are you trying to bankrupt me?”

Nate hangs his head. “Sorry, Unca’ Drew.”

“I’ll see ya later, guys.”

“Hey, I’m on duty at the station for the next few days, but why don’t we meet up for a beer on Friday?” Drew suggests.

“Sure,” I say. “Just text me when and where.”

As expected, the gym does nothing to improve my sour mood. It never does, though it doesn’t stop me from trying. I’ve been working out about twice as often as I used to—mainly because I love to eat, and I’m not burning calories the fun way—and the only progress I’ve made is physically. I think I’ve gained about fifteen pounds of muscle over thepast couple of months. I’ve always been a pretty fit dude, but I’m definitely packing more bulk now.

The week passes in a fog. It’s the same uneventful shit every day. Get up. Go to work. Go to sleep. Do it all over again the next day. I find myself thinking about Rainey more and more. I loved seeing her when I got off of work each day. It gave me something to look forward to. Even if she had an overnight shift, we still texted throughout the day, and sometimes she’d swing by my place in the wee hours of the morning for a quickie beforeIhad to go to work.

God, I miss her so fucking much. Isn’t this supposed to hurt less as time goes on?

Friday finally rolls around, and as promised, Drew and I make plans. Since I’ve been avoiding the waitresses at Kelly’s, we’ve been trying out new places whenever we meet up. Tonight, we’re at this trendy new club that’s more on the upscale side. We usually prefer dive bars, because the drinks are stronger and it’s less crowded, but Drew says he knows the bartender here, and she’ll give us the hookup. What that really translates to isDrew wants to hook up withthe bartender. I have no desire to play the wingman tonight, but I’m trying to be a good sport since he’s been putting up with my cantankerous ass.

We take a seat at the expansive bar, and Drew doesn’t waste any time getting his flirt on. Thankfully, I’ve been able to nurse my drinks in relative solitude. After the third woman attempted and failed to get a free drink out of me, I think word of my standoffishness spread quickly.

“Dude, you’ve got to get back out there sometime.” Drew gestures to the crowded dance floor. “There’s no better time than the present. Look at the sea of hot women wearing minimal clothing. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.”

I turn back around to finish my third beer of the night. “Nah, I’ll pass.”

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