Page 138 of Only Fate

I never want to leave this place.

We stop for hot apple ciders and take a break under a large oak tree. The tree has started losing its leaves. Some are on the ground, beneath our feet, while others flutter in the wind. Looking up, I stare at the moon coming through the bare branches and smile at this new life I’m forming.

Like this tree, when spring comes around, I hope my leaves will be different.

That Essie will forgive me, and we’ll be together.

That I stay here in Blue Beech for good.

“Next year, you’d better give me a heads-up so I can donate to the auction,” I tell her, wanting to feel even more part of the community.

I went from wanting to dominate in corporate law to the desire of a simple life in a small town with the woman I love.

Essie leans against the tree trunk and pauses mid-sip of her cider. “Does that mean you’ll be here next year?”

I inch closer to her. “I’ll be here for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Don’t you mean for as long asBlue Beechwill have you?”

“No,you, Essie. I can’t live here in this town, seeing you and knowing you’d have been mine if I hadn’t messed up. If I lose you, this place will only remind me of my biggest mistake. I want to stay in Blue Beech so we can build a home and life together. My dream life is growing old with you and being the happiest couple in this damn town. I want you to be minehereforever.”

The words feel good as they leave my mouth.

As if the feelings came straight from my chest and bloomed into words I’d wanted to say for so long.

Her eyes lock on mine, but she doesn’t say a word while staring at me in pain.

I know that look because I see it in the mirror whenever I think of losing her.

She rests her hand on my chest, and her voice is close to a whimper. “Let’s enjoy the night and have all the serious talk tomorrow, okay?”

I nod, attempting to read her emotions, but I can’t.

Will she or won’t she let me try to heal her heart from the hurt I caused?

But all I can do now is agree and go with her plan.

“Okay,” I whisper, taking the chance to run my lips over hers.

Tonight, she’s mine.

Tonight, our problems don’t exist.

The rest of the night goes smoothly. We see her friends and sample ales at the brewery’s tent and sit at a picnic table, eatingfood and talking. This is slowly growing into a circle of friends I don’t want to lose either.

And as the night ends, as bad as I want to ask her to spend the night, I don’t. We need to stay at our own places because tomorrow will be rough.

I need to be ready for it.

42

After having one of the best nights of my life at the fall festival, I tell Adrian good night—okay,kisshim good night—and ride home with my parents and River.

We help them unload the car from my mom’s booth, where she sold cookies for my grandfather’s church. Instead of going to our cottages when we’re finished, River and I stay to hang out with my parents.

River and my dad make a drink at the wet bar and talk business.

“I saw you with Adrian tonight,” my mom says, handing me a throw blanket as we curl up on the leather couch in the family room, making ourselves comfortable. “River told me what happened.”

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