Page 68 of Only Fate

My pain is his.

I hate that he thinks he’s the problem, that he pushed me too far.

I need to tell him the truth. Or at least that what’s happening right now is my fault and my fault only.

“Please take me back to the hotel,” I say.

“Okay,” he replies.

Tears prick my eyes as I tread toward the car. It feels like the longest walk of my life. Adrian follows, keeping distance between us, as if he knows it’s what I need.

When we return to the car, I close my eyes and rest my head against the seat. The same song plays on repeat in the background.

I attempt to swallow down the regret of how I’m treating him.

Of not giving him answers.

I’m a terrible person.

My sobs join the stupid song as we grow closer to the hotel.

He slowly brakes in front of the hotel entrance.

I swing open the door. “Good night,” I rush out, holding my breath as I jump out of the car.

“Essie—” he yells, but I cut off his voice by slamming the door shut.

I dash inside the hotel.

“Is everything okay?” the receptionist asks.

“Yes,” I say, proud of how level I keep my voice.

I take the stairs instead of the elevator and stop between floors to give myself a break. I grip the railing, dipping over the side, and scream into the silence.

I hate myself.

I should’ve never treated him like that.

When I get back to the hotel, everyone is still asleep. I lock myself in the bathroom and pull my phone from my pajama pocket. There’s already a text from Adrian.

Adrian: I’m sorry for whatever I did to upset you.

My hands tremble as I text back.

Me: It wasn’t you. It was me.

Adrian: I hate that line.

Just as I’m trying to come up with a response, my phone vibrates with another text from him.

Adrian: From now on, friends only. Got it. We’ll never cross that line again.

No!I don’t want that. I just need time.

Me: I don’t want to lose you. Please give me time.

Adrian: I’ll be patient with you because I love you.

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