Page 76 of Only Fate

There’s an urge to say vodka, whiskey, something strong to help me get through the night. Tucker is fine now, but post-surgery complications are always possible.

“No, I’m okay,” I reply.

She fills a glass of water for herself. I stand to the side as she moves into the living room, places her glass on a coaster, and kicks off her heels.

“Essie, I need to explain myself,” I say.

I’m fucking exhausted, but this might be the only chance I have to talk to her.

She needs to know why I did what I did—how I had to face my personal battles before I could be there for anyone else.

I want to tell her why I disappeared, joined Adaway and Williams, and then followed her to Blue Beech.

“Adrian,” she whispers, “it’s been a long day for you. You don’t have to do this now.”

I drop into the chair I sat in when she was sick. “You need to know this. Ten minutes after you were fired at Adaway and Williams?—”

“You mean after I quit,” she corrects.

I can’t help but chuckle. “Yes, right after you quit.”

I hunch forward, resting my elbows on my knees. “I was shocked when they called me into the boardroom and congratulated me on the promotion. I had no idea about it. The only reason I was at Adaway and Williams was to make amends with you. Which didn’t work out as planned since you pretty much gave me thefuck you.”

“Can you blame me? Did you expect me to welcome you with open arms?” Her voice softens. “You hadn’t given me a goodbye, not anI’m sorry, I just don’t like you anymore. You moved and completely cut off contact, as if our relationship meant nothing.”

“You’ve always been my everything, Essie.” I massage my temples. “It wasn’t just you I was running from. I ran away from everyone and everything.”

“Why?”

Here goes.

I’m ready to rip open this wound.

26

The Past

College

“Ifound some of your father’s old stuff when cleaning the attic,” my abuela says, dropping a box at my feet. “I thought you’d enjoy having this.”

She came to visit today, and we went out for lunch.

“Thank you,” I reply, and she kisses me on the head before leaving my dorm.

I settle on the edge of my bed and open the box markedDaniel’s Things.

A beat-up flip phone rests on a pile of clothing and old Polaroid pictures. I open the flip phone, and it’s completely dead. I search the box and find a charger at the bottom.

Growing up without a father was tough. My mom did everything she could to make me feel close to him. She took me out to dinner on Father’s Day, shared stories about him, and always signed his name on my cards with a halo above it.

After plugging the phone into the charger, I hit the power button again. It takes a second to come on.

This could be considered an invasion of privacy, but curiositygets the better of me. The phone is bare-bones, not like the smartphones we have now. I scroll through the options and select Texts. I browse through the messages until one stands out to me.

It’s a conversation between my mother and father.

Daniel: You’ll have a bastard kid, Paula.

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