Dread washes over me.
I’m an only child.
The text is about me.
Clutching the phone tight, I fight with myself on whether to keep reading.
Unfortunately, I do.
Daniel: I told you I didn’t want a kid. I’m dying, for fuck’s sake. And this is what you do?
I go through text after text, reading their exchange.
Paula: I told you I wanted a son. He’ll be a part of you I can hold on to. Please don’t be upset with me.
Daniel: Why? A kid doesn’t deserve to grow up without a dad. I did, and it wasn’t fun. We discussed this. You need to get an abortion. I don’t want this. I don’t want him.
I was unwanted.
I fling the phone across the room.
A satisfying crack echoes as it hits the wall.
It breaks.
Good.
I wish it’d caught the fuck on fire.
I slide down to the floor, leaning back against the bed frame, and bury my head between my knees.
Unwanted.
Essie pushed me away at the park a few days ago, and now this?
I feel like I’m suddenly losing everything.
A tightness forms in my chest at the thought of her.
I’ve texted her a few times, but she hasn’t replied.
What did I do wrong?
I’d thought she was okay with what we were doing.
I’ve always respected her when we’re together. I’d never want to force myself on her.
My phone vibrates, a call from my mother lighting up the screen.
I ignore it.
She calls again.
Ignore.
For hours, I sit there, not speaking, not moving, thankful River is gone for the weekend.
When I finally check my phone again to turn it off, I find a text from Essie.