Page 77 of Only Fate

Dread washes over me.

I’m an only child.

The text is about me.

Clutching the phone tight, I fight with myself on whether to keep reading.

Unfortunately, I do.

Daniel: I told you I didn’t want a kid. I’m dying, for fuck’s sake. And this is what you do?

I go through text after text, reading their exchange.

Paula: I told you I wanted a son. He’ll be a part of you I can hold on to. Please don’t be upset with me.

Daniel: Why? A kid doesn’t deserve to grow up without a dad. I did, and it wasn’t fun. We discussed this. You need to get an abortion. I don’t want this. I don’t want him.

I was unwanted.

I fling the phone across the room.

A satisfying crack echoes as it hits the wall.

It breaks.

Good.

I wish it’d caught the fuck on fire.

I slide down to the floor, leaning back against the bed frame, and bury my head between my knees.

Unwanted.

Essie pushed me away at the park a few days ago, and now this?

I feel like I’m suddenly losing everything.

A tightness forms in my chest at the thought of her.

I’ve texted her a few times, but she hasn’t replied.

What did I do wrong?

I’d thought she was okay with what we were doing.

I’ve always respected her when we’re together. I’d never want to force myself on her.

My phone vibrates, a call from my mother lighting up the screen.

I ignore it.

She calls again.

Ignore.

For hours, I sit there, not speaking, not moving, thankful River is gone for the weekend.

When I finally check my phone again to turn it off, I find a text from Essie.