Page 11 of Unlocked

Looking down at her, I realize that I want it all with Shelby Brooks. A home, a family, children, an actual relationship. She has unlocked my harden heart in such a short amount of time. She alone has the power to break me. I release her, taking a step back, as the thought hits me. Fear that I haven’t felt in years washes over me. I’m vulnerable, something I’ve worked hard to not be since I was a small boy and basically lost both parents when my dad disappeared and mom stopped being a mom. Shelby has the power to destroy me. As I gaze into her eyes, I’m almost certain that is exactly what she is going to do. There is too much fear in her eyes to ever allow me into her life, her heart. Pain shoots through my chest as I think of never being as close to her as I want. My hand comes up to rub over my heart that’s aching. Her eyes focus on my hand, hiding her fear and insecurities from me. Should I let her shut me out? Put distance between us before she can deliver the fatal blow to my newly awakened heart?

Chapter 6

Shelby

Istare at Bo’s hand rubbing his chest as if he is in distress. It disturbs me. I don’t like seeing him troubled, and that is exactly the look that came over him as he gazed down on me. He seemed to have some sort of epiphany and then stepped away from me. I should be glad that he is no longer touching me, but I’m not. I feel disappointed, lost, and alone now that he is no longer trying to hold me.What is wrong with me?I don’t want a man to hold me…right?

“I…I’m…” I stammer as I stare up at him. I don’t know what to say. I want to say I’m sorry I pushed him away, but I’m too afraid to admit that I’m attracted to him, that I like the way he looks at me, touches me, and mostly the way he held me last night. I’m so afraid of being humiliated again, too afraid to believe that the desire I see in his eyes is real.

His erection was absolutely real a few minutes ago, though, I can’t deny that. He hasn’t been drinking today, so I can’t blame his reaction to seeing me in my undergarments on alcohol.Could he really want me?Fat Shelby Brooks, who even her own father hates? “I’m sorry, too, Bo,” I finally manage to say. I drop my eyes to stare at the carpet as I continue, “I’m not used to having a man’s attention.” There. I said it. Out loud. Asigh escapes me as I wait to see what he will say or do to my confession.

“Could you get used to it?” Bo asks. I lift my gaze to his. “Would you accept my attention?” I stare at him in shock. He looks at me with so much hope in his eyes. I half expected him to laugh at my confession or, at the very least, accept what I said and walk away.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” I admit. His expectant countenance falls. “It’s been so long since anyone has given me any, and the last time they did, it ended badly. I’m afraid of being hurt again.” I turn away from him. All the raw emotions from my past come roaring through me. I haven’t allowed myself to think about that night all those years ago. I jump when strong hands land on my shoulders.

“I’m sorry he hurt you, Shelby. I’d kick his ass if I knew who he was,” Bo says softly. “I understand if you don’t want what I’m asking for. I hope we can at least be friends?” I nod, but I can’t face him. I’m afraid of what I’ll see in his face, and that I’ll cave, opening myself up to heartache again. His hands squeeze my shoulders, gently then fall away. I stand there frozen waiting to see what he will do next when I hear the soft snick of the door as it closes. I never even heard one foot step as he walked away from me. I drop onto the bed as my legs refuse to hold me up any longer. Tears pour from my eyes as I wonder what have I done?Did I just make the biggest mistake of my life?

It's beenfive days since Bo walked away from me, and I haven’t seen him once in all that time. No drunk slipping into my bed, no strolling naked into my room, no snatching me from the hall todrag me into a room for a chat, nothing. NOTHING! Ugh!Why do I care? I don’t…do I?

“Shelby!” Marley’s exasperated voice calls, dragging me from all the questions in my head. I look up to meet her scrutiny. “Are you feeling all right? You’ve been a little spaced out today.” Marley, Daisy, and I are sitting out on patio, pouring over the reception menu. Marley had insisted I eat one of her homemade cinnamon rolls a couple of hours ago. It had been delicious, but I’m beginning to feel a little sick, now. I haven’t eaten anything else today. My appetite has been nearly non-existent the last few days. I just feel so out of sorts.

“I’m…” I trail off as I realize I was about to say I’m fine, but that’s not really the case. I’m sad, and I’m pretty certain that I made a terrible mistake when I refused Bo, but I didn’t have a choice. I won’t survive another heartache like before. “I’m just a little distracted. I’m sorry. Did I miss anything important?” Marley shakes her head, but she has a concerned look on her face. I feel bad causing her to worry over me when she should be focusing on finalizing her wedding plans.

“No, I was just asking your thoughts on a bachelorette party.” I blink in confusion. Marley has told me how she’s basically on house arrest because some crazy radicals who’ve already kidnapped her and Daisy once are planning on doing it again. Two FBI agents have been staying in the house with us the whole time I’ve been here. It’s been surreal, although the men seem to blend into the background. So far, nothing has happened, but I don’t think Luke or those agents will let her have a party. “Ashley and Hillary are asking about throwing me one.”

“I didn’t think you could have a party…you know with everything that’s going on?” I give her my most concerned look because I don’t want anything bad happening to Marley. She’s been such a good friend to me. I’d be lost without her. Marleyhas been there for me in my darkest times. I want to return the favor.

“We are thinking we will go to Jay’s and hang out. The guys can go, too, and watch over us. A combination bachelorette-bachelor party. The guys will be there, but we can still have some fun, let our hair down,” Daisy says. “It will let all of us girls have some bonding time.”

“Jay’s?” I ask, wondering if this is a friend or relative of the Robertsons.

“Yeah, it’s a bar a friend of Luke’s from high school owns,” Marley informs me. “I worked there for a while before Daisy and I were taken.”

“It sounds risky, though, right?” I ask, “Being out in public? What if something happens?” I question, again. “I mean it’s a public place. Even with security, you never know…I just don’t want those people to hurt you again.” Marley’s face falls. I can see her milling over my concerns.

“We will be fine,” Daisy declares. “All the guys and Ace will be there. In addition to that, Luke’s company manages security for the bar, so there will plenty of them around to keep an eye on things.” Daisy makes it sound so innocent, but I have a bad feeling about it.

“What do you think, Shelby?” I can hear the excitement in Marley’s voice. I know she is really wanting to do this. It just isn’t worth the risk to me, but it’s not my wedding. If Marley is determined to have a bachelorette party, who am I to stand in the way?

“Sounds like fun,” I lie, as a fine sheen of sweat pops out on my upper lip.Is it getting hot out here?I fan myself with a magazine I’d gotten from the living room earlier. Marley and Daisy begin to chatter excitedly about what they are going to wear and how much we are going to be drinking. They don’t need to include me in that. I won’t be drinking. I saw what liquordid to my father, and I never want to be like him. There is no way I’ll take the chance of being a drunken monster like my father is.

My mind drifts to Bo again, and I wonder where he’s been these last few days. Has he thought of me at all?No! Stop being foolish, Shelby.Men like Bo don’t pine over women like me. I’m sure he has women lined up around the block just waiting for him to look their way.

As if I conjured him by just thinking of him, I hear Bo’s voice drifting through the open patio door when Marley’s mom comes out to join us. He must be in the dining room where Luke and the others have been working every day since I arrived. I strain to hear what he’s saying, but he’s too far away to understand his words. The need to see him is overwhelming. I’ve hardly been sleeping since that day in my room…well his room.Where’s he been all this time? Where’s he been sleeping?My heart hurts. A wave of jealousy swamps me as I imagine him with some random model perfect bitch. I feel positively sick, nausea rolling through me. I have no right to feel this way. I’m nothing to him, and he’s nothing to me.So why do I have this gaping hole in my soul since that day?Tears sting my eyes.

“Shelby? Are you sure you’re okay?” I look up to see Daisy staring at me in concern. “You’re awfully pale.” Marley turns away from her mother, looking at me, too.

“You do look sickly, child,” Marley’s mom comments. Well, that’s great! Everyone thinks I look sick. Maybe I am coming down with something? I’ve felt dreadful the last several days, but I’ve assumed it’s because I’m not sleeping.

“I’m just tired,” I assure them. “Perhaps I’ll go take a nap. I will feel better after, I’m sure.” Marley is giving me a hard look. She’s always been pretty good at reading my bullshit. I stand to go inside. I’m hit with a wave of dizziness, but I manage to keep the others from noticing. I hurry through the house and up the staircase, determined not to run into Bo, but once I make it tomy bedroom door, I’m feeling upset that he didn’t ambush me along the way. “What the hell’s wrong with me?” I ask myself, flinging the door open and stepping inside, feeling anxious and raw.

“Nothing as far I can see, sweet girl.” Bo is standing at the dresser getting some clothes out of a duffle bag and placing them in a drawer. Our eyes meet, and I’m frozen in place. He’s just as handsome as the last time I saw him. The sight of him takes my breath. His square jaw with a neatly trimmed beard ticks as we take one another in. Neither of us seem to be able to move for a moment.

“Are you all right, Shelby?” His voice is laced with concern. Bo walks in my direction. I remain frozen to the floor. He is suddenly in front of me, neon lights flashing before my eyes. His eyes are full of apprehension. I don’t feel right. It’s as if I’m floating away from my body. I sway. My vision fades. Bo’s arms are around me then. “Sweet girl!” he exclaims. Bo’s arms shift around my back and under my knees, lifting me off my feet. I want to protest his actions. I’m entirely too heavy for him to be trying to carry, but I can’t speak. He carries me to the bed, laying me down gently.

“Daisy? My room now! Hurry!” Bo is speaking to someone, but I can’t see a thing. My vision has gone completely dark. I can’t move or speak, but I seem to be able to hear. I didn’t think anyone else was in the room with us, but perhaps I’m mistaken. Bo is here. He touched me.

“Shelby, baby! Speak to me!” Bo pleads, his voice sounding frantic but far away.Why is he so upset? Is something wrong?My thoughts are so scattered. I want to answer, but I can’t seem to focus on anything.

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