Page 17 of Unlocked

“Shelby, I haven’t been a good man. I can admit it.” Bo’s bravado has left his voice. “You’d do well to listen to their advice.” He loosens his hold, allowing me to raise up to face him. His hand cups the side of my face. “It never bothered me what others thought of my inability to have a meaningful relationship, until now.” I narrow my eyes at him.What’s he saying?“I don’t want to let the old me keep this new me from having a chance to have it all…to have you.” My face goes slack. I can’t see even a speck of deceit in his expression, but I have to remember I’m not the best judge of character when it comes to men. Lance taught me that hard lesson.

Chapter 9

Bo

Isit in anticipation of Shelby’s response to my confession. It’s risky being honest about my sordid past, but she needs to know. I don’t want any secrets between us, not now that I’ve accepted, she is my girl. Mine. I’m praying to a God, who I fear won’t be on my side because of my past, that he’ll grant my greatest desire: Shelby’s love.

Shelby stares at me. Her emotions flow in wave after wave over her. I can read every one of them. Shock, hope, desire, but the overriding one is fear. She’s afraid of getting hurt. She’s already confessed that to me. I completely understand where she’s coming from. I’m afraid, too, for one of the first times in my life. I’m terrified she won’t be willing to take the leap, to give me a chance to show her I can be a better man.

“What are you saying?” Shelby asks. Her eyes are narrowed taking me in. I do my best to not hide what I’m feeling. It’s harder than I expect. I’ve kept my emotions locked down for so long I have a hard time letting them show.

“I’m saying I hope you will not hold my past against me,” I confess, turning to take in the rising sun over the gray ocean. “I’m not that man anymore, sweet girl. I’ve been feeling…lost, alone for a while, years in fact. But recently, I found what I’vebeen missing all these years.” I turn back to her, needing her to see my truth. “It scares me. I’m afraid I’ll fuck it up, that I’ve wasted so many years being shallow, hiding behind a clown’s facade I won’t be able to have substance, to be what you need me to be.”

Tears well up, and she takes a shaky breath. I prepare myself for her to get up and leave me cold, alone, but she, once again, knocks my world off its axis by laying her head down on my chest, gripping my t-shirt in her fist. “I’m afraid, too,” she whispers so quietly I wonder if it’s actually what she said. “I’m not the woman for you, Bo. I can never be.” My arms wrap around her, holding her to me. Whether it’s to keep her from falling apart after her confession or if it’s to keep myself from falling apart, I don’t know, but we remain there together, long after the sun is past the horizon. I don’t want to lose this connection we have despite her protests that she can’t be the one for me. I know that she is. She’s the only one who can save my old withered heart.

The sounds of car doors shutting announces the arrival of my brothers to begin another day of searching for ways to take down the Brotherhood and free Marley from a life of fear. Shelby lifts her head. The tears have long since dried, but I can’t resist rubbing my thumbs under her sad eyes while cupping her cheeks. I pull her closer. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips. The very place I wish I could place mine, but Shelby isn’t ready for me, yet. I won’t accept anything less than everything. I press a kiss to her forehead, lingering a little too long.

Rosco steps out onto the patio, catching us in the intimate moment. I’m not sure Shelby notices him. She lays her head back on my chest after the kiss. I rest my cheek against the top of her head and stare at my brother. His jaw is ticking in that way it does when he’s half pissed but is trying to not show it. I cock aneyebrow, waiting for him to say something, but he just turns and goes back inside the house.

“We better head inside,” I say reluctantly. I wish we could sit out here all day, but the women have wedding things to do, and we men have to find a way to eliminate the threat to Marley. Shelby rises from our nest, folding the blanket before returning it to the drawer where I’d gotten it from. I pick up our coffee cups, carrying them inside with Shelby trailing behind.

We enter the kitchen to find Luke and Marley getting their own cups of coffee. Marley’s eyes widen in shock at seeing us together while Luke scowls at me like he did when I’d done something wrong as a child. I stand a little straighter because I haven’t done anything wrong. Shelby’s mine, just as surely as Marley is his. He and everyone else, including Shelby, need to get used to the idea. I have, and I’m the last person in the world to ever consider I’d have a woman. Yet, here we are, and I’m realizing more every day I’m totally fine with it.

“Good morning,” I greet the couple, moving past them to pour out the cold coffee and rinse our cups. I turn back to my sweet girl. “Do you want another cup? I’m afraid we let our first cups get cold.” Shelby’s eyes bug out briefly before darting to Marley, to Luke, before landing back on me. She takes a deep breath and nods. I take our cups to the coffee pot and pour us both a fresh cup. Without asking, I get her favorite creamer from the fridge pouring a generous amount, adding the sugar free sweetener she favors. I stir the mixture before handing her the cup. The kitchen is unusually quiet for so many of us to be in here.

Shelby’s hand trembles as she takes the cup from me. Our fingers brush against one another. I grin when I see her skin pebble with gooseflesh. I pick up my own cup filled with plain black coffee. I take sip, noting that all eyes in the room are on me. I arch a brow to the room at large. I’m not going to apologizeor feel weird about taking care of my girl. I don’t care who it makes uncomfortable.

Kelvin, Dalton, and Enos enter the kitchen in search of coffee. I move out of their way, turning to leave the kitchen, but I can’t resist touching my sweet girl one more time before we begin our day. I wrap an arm around Shelby’s waist, drawing her to my side, causing to yelp in surprise. I kiss her temple. “Have a good day, sweet girl. I’ll see you later.” I exit the kitchen for the dining room where we’ve all been working since Marley was placed under FBI protection.

I take up my spot where my laptops are located, open a file, and begin pouring over the information contained inside. Minutes later, the rest of them join me. The room is thick with tension. Agent Morris has joined us this morning as well.

“Bo, what the fuck was that in the kitchen?” Luke growls at me as soon as the dining room door is closed. Warily, not wanting to have this conversation, I close my laptop, resigning myself to the lecture I can feel is coming my way. I raise my eyes to see everyone is staring at me, while Agent Morris is looking at Luke with confusion.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lie, hoping he’ll drop it if I act like every action I took is completely normal. Luke’s face reddens to near purple. I begin to fear he’s going to pop a blood vessel. “You don’t look so good, Luke. You should have Daisy check your blood pressure.” Kelvin sniggers but sobers quickly when Luke shoots him a scathing look.

“You are going to need more than a blood pressure check if you hurt Shelby,” Luke roars at me. “I swear to all things holy I will shove my fist so far up your ass you will choke, and Daisy will have to surgically remove it so you can breathe.”

“Fuck!” I roar back. “Did I give you shit when you decided Marley was your woman? No. I did not. I had your back, Luke. I’ve always had your back. Why can’t you have mine?” I snatchup my laptops and files, shoving them in my carrying case. I rise to my feet. Luke is gaping at me, astonishment evident on his face.

“Bo, where are you going?” Luke asks, finally recovering from his disbelief at my outburst.

“I’m heading to the office. See you all later.” I stride from the room, slamming the dining room door behind me as I go. I swear I heard Luke say, “You are going to be the death of me.”

Tearing down the hall, I run into the Daisy coming out of the kitchen. “What the hell, Bo?” Daisy questions. I’m about to blast her just like I’d blasted Luke seconds ago, but I notice Daisy doesn’t look or sound like she’s judging me. No, she’s honestly wondering what I’m upset about. I pause, running my hand through my hair. “I’m sick of everyone thinking I’m incapable of having feelings.” I wait for her to laugh or scoff, but she just considers me intently.

“You aren’t incapable,” Daisy retorts. “I just think you have gotten really, really good at hiding them, even from yourself.” Despite hardly seeing or spending time with my sister very much in the twenty years since Luke’s accident, it seems my sister still knows me well.

“Maybe you should tell our brother that,” I say, then sweep past her and out through the garage. I need some time and space away from everyone for a bit. I climb into a company SUV and back out of the drive, heading for Invictus headquarters. My phone rings. I consider ignoring it, but that will only make things worse. I grip the steering wheel with my left hand while using my right to fish my phone from my back pocket. Lifting it up, I see that it’s Dalton calling.

“Yo!” I answer. “What’s up?” The line is silent a beat.

“You okay?” I glance heavenward seeking patience or maybe guidance. It seems everyone wants to be in my business today.

“Yeah,” I snap. I shouldn’t be upset with Dalton. He’s only trying to be a friend.

“Feelings and shit?” he questions. I bark out a laugh, remembering our recent conversation that I’d denied talking to him about what I was feeling.

“Something like that.” I grin. “It’s just some growing pains. I’m trying to grow and Luke can’t accept or won’t believe that I’m able to do it.”

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