Page 20 of Unlocked

Realistically I know all guys are not like Lance, the asshole who embarrassed me that night a decade ago, but I can’t get it out of my head. Maybe I need to discuss it with my therapist, again. I’ve avoided talking about that night with her as much as I can. The memories are too painful. I certainly have triggers from that night. I hate to label it as post-traumatic stress because it wasn’t a violent encounter, but it was a very traumatic, emotional, and stressful event for me. I’d been sohumiliated and embarrassed. It had changed me fundamentally. I’ve fought hard to overcome the pain of my past, of the abuse. My father, an alcoholic, had been both verbally and physically abusive. When I turned eighteen, I left home and moved in with my aunt who had helped me get into college. She had boosted my confidence and had helped heal my broken spirit. At least it had been until that night. I had lost all the ground I’d made in building my confidence, and I haven’t recovered. Instead I’ve kept myself hidden away. First focusing on college and passing with flying colors. Then pouring everything into my work. I work long hours, never taking time to explore life beyond the walls of work and my apartment.

Bo is pounding on the door of the bathroom, which I managed to lock before he could force his way inside. The man is insane, creating more of scene that I did when I slapped his gorgeous face. I can’t believe I did that. I’m not a violent person. I abhor violence after everything I endured as a child. I shake my head, covering my eyes with my hands. I can’t even stand to look at myself.What have I done?

Chapter 11

Bo

What the fuck just happened?I wonder as I watch Shelby running away from me. I thought I’d made a connection with her. I felt her body finally relax into me like she was at long last giving into the overwhelming attraction between us. I know she woke last night when I climbed into bed with her, just like every night for the last week, but she pretended to be asleep. She let me hold her, and when she thought I was asleep, she’d snuggled into my embrace.This woman is attracted to me as much as I am to her, so why does she resist? Is it because of my bad boy status?

I know what everyone thinks of me. Hell, I’ve earned my bad reputation. I own it, and until a few days ago, I was damn proud of it. However, the woman making her way through the crowded bar to get away from me has me wishing I’d lived my life a whole lot differently. I wish she wasn’t afraid that I’d break her heart.

Shelby Brooks has been a totally unexpected but an astoundingly welcomed surprise. I’ve never met a woman I’ve felt this attracted to before. I don’t understand why I feel this way. Normally I seek out supermodel thin, physically attractivewomen with horribly superficial personalities. I know what you’re thinking. That makes me an asshole. I don’t deny it. I have been an asshole. I said I own it. I have subconsciously kept myself away from women I could be really attracted to for a reason. I didn’t want to open myself up to anyone. I’ve kept my heart behind a steel cage, but this woman has unlocked my cage and knocked me for a loop. Shockingly I can’t say I’m upset about it, either.

I push my way through the crowd to go after her. I don’t know what I did that caused her to slap my face, which to be honest is still stinging like a bitch, but I’ll do anything to make it right. I see her duck into the ladies’ bathroom.Shit!Should I follow?Hell yes, I’m going to follow. I grab the door knob, preparing to apologize to any females I might embarrass by entering the women’s restroom, but the door won’t open. It’s locked! I knock on the door rather forcefully. “Shelby! Let me in!” I call to her, but get no response. “Please, sweet girl. I’m sorry for whatever I did to upset you. Just let me in. Talk to me.”

“What the hell did you do?” Marley demands as she appears at my side. I turn to her wide-eyed.

“I swear I didn’t do anything!” I insist, running my hand through my hair. “I just tried to kiss her and she freaked out on me. Fuck!” I’m so frustrated I don’t know what to do. I’m almost irrational in my fear that I’ve fubared any chance at a relationship with her. I try the door again as I say, “I didn’t mean to upset her.”How did I mess this up so badly so quickly?

“Let me talk to her.” Marley’s expression softens. “She’s not been treated well in the past, Bo. It isn’t your fault. You just triggered a bad memory for her. I’ll smooth it over. I promise.” I nod, stepping back from the door. Marley knocks on the door, calling Shelby’s name and asking for permission to enter. It takes a bit, but finally I hear the latch click. I can’t keep myself from stepping up behind Marley in hopes of getting a glimpseof the woman who’s snagged my attention like no other ever has before.

The moment our eyes meet in the small crack between the door and the frame, I can see Shelby’s tearstained face with pain in her beautiful pale blue eyes. Something catches in my chest at the sight and worsens when I see her fear at the sight of me. “Back off!” Marley shouts at me when Shelby tries to slam the door back. Reluctantly I step back giving them some privacy.

Moments after Marley closes the door behind her, Luke, Rosco, and Enos show up. Luke looks like he is going to blow a gasket. I brace for the ass chewing I’m about to receive. I’m sure that I deserve it, but I keep replaying our time on the dance floor together, and I can’t for the life of me figure it out.What the hell did I do wrong?

“Bo, what did you do, now?” Luke asks without trying to mask the irritation in his voice.

“The fuck if I know,” I growl, throwing my hands up in surrender. I have no idea what happened or why.

“He probably suggested she suck his dick in the bathroom,” Enos supplies unhelpfully. Luke’s stern glare turns almost murderous. I stare at my brothers in shock.Is this what they think of me?That I would ask a woman, who is a close friend of Marley’s, to suck my dick in a public bathroom?

“That’s not what happened,” I protest vehemently, turning my back on my brothers. “I honestly don’t know what the fuck happened. I thought…I thought…fuck I don’t know what I thought.”

“You obviously weren’t thinking with your brain, asshat, or this shit wouldn’t have happened,” Rosco joins the conversation. His voice dripping with disapproval. “She is Marley’s friend, Bo. You should have known better than to hit on her.”

“I wasn’t hitting on her,” I deny, though it’s a lie, but it isn’t like they are meaning. There is something between us. I feel itevery time I’m in the room with her. “We were dancing, and when the song ended, I…I leaned down to kiss her, and she freaked the fuck out. She shoved me back, slapping my face and yelled you can’t win a bet off me. What the hell does that even mean?” I ask, looking to my brothers for clarity on the situation. Perhaps I’m missing something that they will pick up on. Luke shakes his head, seeming to be as confused by her actions as I am. When no one offers any insight, I begin to pace as I wait for the women to emerge.

“Why are they still in there?” I demand after minutes of pacing the hall. What’s taking so long? I need to see Shelby, fix whatever I did to upset her. “I should go check on her.” I decide, mumbling to myself, starting toward the bathroom door, but Rosco steps in front of me, placing his hand on the center of my chest.

“You can’t go in there,” Rosco says calmly. I square my shoulders. My right arm tenses preparing to knock Rosco on his ass if he tries to keep me from Shelby. Enos jumps in between us in an effort to calm things down before they get out of hand. Just then the bathroom door opens.

“Is she okay?” I ask Marley once she’s in the hall. “I’m so sorry, Marley. I never intended to scare her or offend her.” She gives me a reassuring smile.

“Like I said before, Bo. This isn’t your fault,” Marley asserts confidently. “Shelby has been treated badly in the past by a lot of people, including her own family. She doesn’t trust easily.” Marley gives me a hard look before continuing. I’m not sure what I expect her to say, but her next words cut me deep. “I know your reputation, and Shelby isn’t that kind of woman, so just leave her alone, okay?” I’m ashamed and hurt at what I’m hearing. I know I deserve it, but I’m not going to let my mistakes from the past prevent me from having a chance at what I believecould be something truly important to me. I’m not sure why, but Shelbyisimportant to me.

“I know you all think I’m incapable of having feelings or a meaningful relationship,” I growl, looking around at Marley and my brothers. “But that’s not true. I just haven’t met anyone I wanted a meaningful relationship with before, but Shelby is different.” I need them all to believe me. “I won’t hurt her Marley, if she’ll just give me a chance.” I stare at Marley unblinking, willing her to believe me and be willing to help me convince Shelby.

“That’s for her to decide, Bo,” Marley says with a sigh. “For tonight, though, just give her some space. Give her time to get to know you before trying to make a move, yeah?” My jaw ticks with annoyance, but I nod anyway. I will get them all to see that I can be more than I have been, especially Shelby.

“Will you at least tell her I’m really sorry for upsetting her?” I ask but expecting Marley to tell me to fuck myself. I’m relieved when she nods, so I walk away, back down the hall and across the dance floor to our table. I drop into a seat, grabbing my warm, half drank bottle of beer, taking a sip. I wince because not even alcohol is going to help this situation.

“What’s gotten into you?” Enos asks the moment he and Rosco arrive at our table. “You should have known better. Damn brother! We have all been horndogs in our time, but fuck! You can’t treat Marley’s friend like a whore.”

“I wasn’t asshole!” I shout to be heard over the noise in the bar and to release my frustration over this impossible situation. “Sheis nota whore! She is my future.” I swallow hard at the secret that’s slipped from my lips. My admission washes over me, and I see my brothers realize that I’m deadly serious.

“Fuck, Bo, you’re really serious, aren’t you?” Enos asks, his voice filled with awe, looking me in the eye. I give him a nod, never breaking eye contact. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” Rosco hitsmy shoulder with his hip, indicating I need to scoot over in the booth to make room for his ass. He sits next to me and claps his hand on my shoulder.

“The mighty has fallen.” He chuckles, looking over at Enos. “You better watch out brother. You could be next.” He waggles his eyebrows at Enos who gives him a one finger, brotherly salute.

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