Page 34 of Unlocked

Shelby is so still and quiet I’m afraid to breathe, fearing I’ll cause her to run from me again. I know she’s hurting in more ways than one. She is physically recovering from the beatings she’d taken at the hands of the Brotherhood, but there is a deeper pain, too. It’s one I don’t think she’s ever told anyone about before. I need her to confide in me. I need her to let me in, give me the chance to heal the hurt. I want her to let me be her rock.

I’ve never wanted to be someone’s rock. The person they turn to when life is tough, but I’d do anything for Shelby. She’s the first woman I’ve met who didn’t fall all over themselves trying to impress me. Her shyness and pain she attempts to hide have intrigued me from the beginning, but the more I’ve been around her, the more I find myself wanting her. I’m not ready to give her up, yet. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready. I must prove myself worthy of her time and attention. I need her to be willing to take a chance on me.

“I told you before I didn’t have a very good childhood.” Shelby startles me with her soft voice. She hasn’t forced me to let her up from my lap. I’m taking that as a good sign. Her speaking is another. There might just be hope for us, after all. I nod,encouraging her to continue. “My father liked to drink. He drank all day, every day. He wasn’t a nice man when he drank. He was an even worse man when he didn’t have any alcohol to drink.” I dread what she is about to say. I can fill in the blanks between what she’s saying now and what I had heard her crying out in her nightmares, but I don’t say anything. She needs this much more than I do.

“It never mattered what I did or didn’t do. He always found something to be upset about,” Shelby states. No emotion in her voice, almost like she’s a narrator for a movie. “He liked to hit things when he was upset. After he would pass out, my mom would bake. It calmed her nerves, I guess, and it made her feel good to do something nice for me. You know to make up for what Daddy had done. She would give me sweets to smooth over the pain he caused with his fists. Daddy had frequent outbursts, so I ate sweets a lot. I gained weight and kept gaining, which only seemed to fuel Daddy’s anger.

“He would tell me I was fat, lazy, stupid. He had an excellent list of names to call me when I’d done something to upset him, which could be any little thing, breathing or walking across the floor for example.” I’m raging pissed at her father and her mother for the suffering Shelby endured as a child and is still having to endure as an adult.

“When he was really, really mad, he would chain me in the basement and leave me in the dark for hours, sometimes days. How long I was down there depended on whether not Mom noticed I was missing. I once spent five days handcuffed to a pipe.” Shelby shivers violently. She stares off seeing another time and place. “I almost died that time. Mom hadn’t been home when he went off that day. He beat me so badly I had several broken ribs and a facial fracture. He left me alone in the dark. No food, no water. Before he left that day, he told me he would ‘help’ me lose the excess weight. He’d starve it off me. I yelledand screamed until my voice was gone, but he had gone upstairs and passed out. Mom was working two full-time jobs. She was rarely home except to sleep.

“She had run out of clean clothes to wear to work. She came down to the basement to do laundry and found me. I’d been able to get drops of water from a leaking pipe or I would have died there. Sometimes I wish I’d had the strength to resist catching the water in my mouth. I’ve often thought I’d been better off to have died in that basement.” I’m shocked at the abuse she’s suffered, but even more by her admission.

“I’m so sorry you went through all of that, sweet girl.” I wrap my arms around her protectively, wishing I could have prevented her suffering. “I’m glad you survived. I’m glad you are here with me.” She lets me hold her, but doesn’t say anything for a while. I wait as she gathers her thoughts. I can tell she has more to say, but needs time before she can continue.

“I left home when I turned eighteen and moved in with my aunt. Daddy didn’t know where she lived, so he couldn’t find me. I had tried leaving when I was twelve, but he came and got me. Threatening to kill my grandmother for helping me. I was so broken by the time I finally got away from him I…I tried to end my own life.” I grit my teeth trying not to have a negative reaction to her confession. A single tear slips out of her left eye to crawl down her cheek. Through ever brutal detail, she’s been stoic until now. Reliving the worst time in her life, can’t be easy for her. I want to tell her she doesn’t owe me an explanation, but I feel she somehow needs me to know all of this. I keep my emotions in check to allow her to get all of this off her chest.

“My aunt found me and had me hospitalized,” Shelby continues in the same monotone voice. “They kept me for about six weeks before they felt it was safe to let me leave for out patient treatment. I’ve been in therapy since. I was improving. My depression had been well controlled with medications andcounseling. I’d even lost some of the excess weight I’d gain from the stress of living with an abusive alcoholic. Then when I was twenty, I went out to a bar with some friends from college. I met a guy there. He was a lot like you”—she turns to look at me—“but not like you at all.” I’m confused by her double talk.

“He was handsome, athletic, and arrogant,” she clarifies. “He pursued me all night, saying sweet things about how pretty I was and how much he fun he was having spending time with me. It was all a lie. He only wanted to win a bet he’d made with his buddies. He’d bet he could get the fat chick to kiss him before the night was over…He won the bet.”

I’m having a very hard time controlling the wrath I feel at hearing what this motherfucker did to her. It seems I have two bastards to hunt down and teach a lesson. No one can abuse my girl and get away with it. It doesn’t matter she wasn’t my girl when these offenses took place. I’m still getting retribution for pain and suffering my sweet girl has been through.

“The worst part of that whole night was he did it in front of my friends,” she whispers. “He’d said I was easy because I was fat, and no one else would give me any attention. I was so ashamed and humiliated. Until Marley’s bachelorette party, I hadn’t been back inside a bar. I haven’t been out, period. I gained even more weight after that night. I ate to make myself feel better, but it didn’t help. Nothing did. I withdrew from my friends, from everyone. I focused on finishing college, then work. I’ve been a hermit of sorts. Marley is about the only friend I’ve kept in touch with over the years, largely in part because she wasn’t there that night. She didn’t see or hear how they laughed at me.” Her voice cracks as she stops talking. Neither of us speaks, lost in our own thoughts.

“I don’t know why I told you all of that,” Shelby says after a while. “Other than because I’m tired of fighting you. You need to know just how fucked up I am so you will stop this crazyobsession you have.” I scoff at her. She turns to frown at me. “I’m serious, Bo. You need to stop.”

“Shelby, my sweet girl, I’m not giving up,” I declare, cupping her face in my hand. “You are not fucked up. Hurting? Yes, but not so damaged you can’t be repaired. No one can predict the future, but I will promise you this; I’ll never intentionally hurt you, physically or otherwise. I’m not happy about the pain of your past, but I am glad you trusted me enough to tell me about it.” I lift my hand, wiping away stray strands of hair from her forehead. I might be pushing too hard, too soon, but I can’t resist pressing my lips to hers. She is stiff, unmoving at first, but then she relaxes into me. Her lips moving hesitantly over mine.

I swipe my tongue against her lips. She opens for me. I take full advantage, exploring every inch of her mouth. I almost lost this. I almost lost her, more than once. She was fully intending to leave me, just now. Maybe she still is, but I’m going to do everything in my power to keep her here with me. My hand cups the side of her head, tilting her head so I can get more, drink down her sweetness. She is a drug, and I’m an addict. I can never get enough of her. I shift our bodies, easing her back onto the bed, needing more of her. It is a mistake I quickly regret.

Shelby begins to shove at my chest, breaking the kiss. “Stop, please.” Shelby’s voice breaking in fear. I pull back giving her some space. She searches my face. I can see her warring with indecision. She wants me, but she’s afraid.

“It’s okay, sweet girl.” I attempt to assure her. “We have all the time in the world.” I smooth hair away from her face again. “As long as you don’t run from me, we have plenty of time.” She swallows but relaxes back onto the bed. “I won’t take this any further than you are comfortable with, sweet girl. I meant what I said. I won’t hurt you.” Another deep breath she holds before releasing it.

“I trust you, Bo,” she admits, dropping her eyes to her hands. “I just got scared for a moment. Not of you…but of what you make me feel.” I grin smugly at her confession. She makes me feel things, too. Things I never wanted to feel, but now that I have, I want more. I want her. She needs to know just how much she affects me, too. I want her to understand she isn’t in this alone. She has unlocked the vault I’ve kept my heart inside. She doesn’t understand the power she now holds. She can make me or destroy me. It’s her choice.

“You make me feel things, too, sweet girl.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “I know, lust. I can feel it as we speak.” She smirks at me, and I bark out a laugh at her sass.

“Oh, it isn’t just lust, Shelby,” I offer. “You make me feel everything, and I want it all. I want you, your thoughts, your fears, your hopes, your dreams,andyour body.” Her face reddens to the point I’m worried for her health. “I can be a patient man when the reward is worth it. I know you don’t believe me, but you are worth it, my sweet girl.”

“Bo.” My name escapes her lips on a sigh. She takes my mouth in a bold kiss, driving me wild with need for her. She allows me to lay her back this time, devouring her mouth. My hands roam over her sides, moving up to gently cup the sides of her large breasts. She moans into my mouth. It’s too much. I return the sound, feeling it all the way down to my cock. I leave a wet trail of open-mouth kisses along her jaw to her ear, down her neck, and across her collarbone. She tastes divine. My left hand moves down her side to slip under the hem of her blouse. Her skin is warm and soft under my rough hand. She shivers, but doesn’t pull away from me.

My hand climbs higher, skimming over her abdomen to her breasts. I can feel her nipple harden under my touch. I want my mouth on it. I duck my head under her shirt to take the bud into my mouth over the fabric of her bra. “Oh God!” sheexclaims. More unintelligible sounds escape her as I take my time exploring her breasts, pulling the fabric down to expose bare skin. I’m ready to move lower when there is a loud knock on the door. Shelby freezes under me.

“Fuck!” I mutter in irritation. I extract my head from under her shirt, pressing a kiss to her lips as I rise from the bed. Shelby is sprawled out on the bed, her hair a messy halo around her head. She’s so fucking beautiful with her face flushed and her lips swollen from my kisses. I want to continue what we’ve started. Deciding to ignore whoever is at the door, I lean over her, pressing a kiss to her lips, but the pounding on the door brings me to a stop.

“Bo!” Rosco yells through the door. “Morris is here. You need to bring Shelby down to talk to him.” He whacks the door again. “Do you hear me?”

“Grrrr! I fucking hear you!” I holler back. “We’ll be down in a minute!”

“Hurry your ass up!” Rosco bangs on the door one last time.

“Fuck off, asshole!” I bellow back. I turn back to my sweet girl. Her eyes wide, taking me in. I’m worried I’ve frightened her again, but then she grins so cute. I nip her lips and kiss her again, pulling another groan from her. “I wish I hadn’t called Morris,” I grumble as I roll off her. Her giggles make me smile, too.

“I’ve never heard you yell at your brothers before,” Shelby gets out through her laughter, then she becomes very serious. “Will he be mad at you? Will he be mad at me?”

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