Page 21 of Love and Other Paradoxes

“Exactly.” She grinned. “Phase One complete.”

He stared at the man he was pretending to be. An uncanny fearswept over him, that his reflection was going to walk off without him into a successful future, leaving him floating in the Grafton centre toilets like a sad and unsanitary ghost.

Esi was already leaving. “So,” she said as he hurried to catch up. “If Phase One was about giving you a chance to talk to her, Phase Two is about what you’re going to say.”

“Right.” He stepped out into Burleigh Street. A bike bell rang, and he jumped back.

She looked at him quizzically. “Why are you acting like the road is made of lava?”

He glanced nervously down the street. “The book says I’m going to get run over by a bike this year.”

“I see,” she said innocently. “So if it’s meant to happen, why bother trying to stop it?”

He opened his mouth to retort, but she had him. Even though it was impossible, he couldn’t repress the impulse to thwart the future.

She looked away with a smile of satisfaction. “The first thing you need to say to Diana issorry. She’s going to ask you for an explanation, but that’s not what she really needs. She needs to know you realise what you did was bad, and creepy, and invasive, and you’re never going to do anything like it ever again.”

“Got it,” he said. “Bad, creepy, invasive, never again.”

She narrowed her eyes.

“No, I’m not taking the piss,” he said. “I’m making mental bullet points. It’s a revision technique.”

She sighed. “Then, you need to focus on her. And I don’t mean, like, brainstorming the next poem you’re going to write.”

“But she’s going to be my muse,” he protested. “Having poetic thoughts about her is the whole point.”

“I’m not banning you from having poetic thoughts. I’m just saying, don’t pay more attention to them than to what she’s actually saying.”

“Okay. Fine. What else?”

“Don’t think about the future. And whatever you do, don’t talk about your destiny.” She turned round, facing him as she walked backwards. “Listen to her. Be present in the conversation. And don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Women like it if you’re not always trying to look like a winner.”

“That shouldn’t be hard.” He scratched his head. “Anything else?”

She shrugged. “She’s a person, Joseph Greene. Treat her like one.”

He felt oddly disappointed. “Doesn’t sound that complicated.”

“It isn’t. But honestly, the bar is so low that if you can manage it, she’s going to think you’re some kind of wizard.”

The sun had sunk below the buildings. He checked his watch. A surprising amount of time had elapsed. “Fuck. I have to be at the ADC in fifteen minutes.”

She nodded. “I’d walk you there, but, you know. The adoring fans wouldn’t like it.”

“Guess not.” He looked down the road towards town. “Actually, it’s been nice not to be followed around for a while.”

She looked surprised. “You don’t like the attention?”

He laughed. “Do I seem to you like the kind of person who enjoys being stared at?”

Her keen gaze took him in. “Why do you want to be a famous poet, then?”

It took him a while to articulate his answer. “I want to make something that matters. I don’t want tobethe thing that matters. Does that make any sense?”

She looked at him for a long time, then laughed. He liked her laugh. It was warm and chaotic. “What?” he asked, smiling.

“Nothing. You just keep being the complete opposite of what I expected.” The traffic lights ahead of them changed, and a car roared off down East Road. She jumped at the noise, briefly clutching his arm.

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