Page 25 of Love and Other Paradoxes

I’m just coming back to college. Meet me outside?

too central

too many people

I told you, I’m trying to keep a low profile

He checked up and down the street. A group of girls in wedge heels were heading out for pre-clubbing drinks. A wild-haired professor was cycling towards the river, his dog trotting frantically to keep up. The tour groups, time traveller or otherwise, were long gone.

It’s not exactly jumping this time of night. Come on! Live a little!

I’m not here to live, I’m here to reset my life

but fine

give me 20 minutes

He waited outside the gate, vibrating with euphoria, until he saw her round the corner of Pembroke Street. As she came up the steps, he unlocked the gate and held it open.

She stopped. “Wait, we’re goingin?”

“Aye. I want a beer, and it’s cheaper than anywhere else.” He saw her hesitate. “What’s wrong? And don’t say the butterfly effect. You work in a coffee shop. It’s not like you never interact with people.”

“That’s Mill Road. This is the university. It’s different.” When he started to demur, she gave him a look. “You’re telling me I’m not going to be the only Black person in that bar?”

He thought about the two Black students he knew in the college. “Well, Omar never comes to the bar, but Vanessa spends more time on the quiz machine than she does on her degree, so overall, odds are about fifty-fifty?” She smiled a little, but she stilllooked tense. “You can’t avoid the uni forever,” he reminded her gently. “Your mum’s here.”

“Exactly. She never felt like she fit in, and she was a genius. Compared to her, I’ve got no right to be here at all.”

“You’re my guest.” He leaned back against the door, pushing it open wider. “You have as much right to be here as anyone else.”

She bit her lip. “Can we have a code word? If I say it, it meansI need to get out of here.”

“Absolutely. What’s the code word?”

Her eyes flicked up to the grand stone archway. “Threshold,” she said with a smile, like she was making a private joke.

He held the gate open. She ducked through, humming uneasily under her breath. “So,” he said. “Don’t you want the full story of how I swept Diana Dartnell off her feet?”

“If I say no, are you going to tell me anyway?”

“I’ll give you the short version. I did everything you said, and it worked.” He looked up at the crescent moon, remembering the odd, hollow feeling that had descended on him afterwards. “I mean, of course it worked, because it was always going to work.”

“Don’t take this away from me, Joseph Greene. It worked because I’m amazing at romantic advice.” She looked sideways at him. “And don’t take it away from yourself. You listened, and you did what I told you. That can’t have been easy.”

He led her down the arched tunnel towards the bar, feeling a little patronised. “You think I’m incapable of following basic instructions?”

She looked surprised by his reaction. “No. I just didn’t think you’d want to.”

The cosy, old-man-pub atmosphere of the bar enveloped them. Esi wrinkled her nose. Joe experienced a moment of dislocation.Smoking in pubs was going to be banned in Scotland in March—his regulars had talked about nothing else all summer—but the idea of his everyday reality being obsolete made him feel suddenly ancient.

“We can go somewhere else,” he offered.

“It’s fine,” she said, waving her hand in front of her face. “I’m getting used to it.”

He got the drinks—a beer for him and a blue cocktail for Esi—and took them to a table in the corner. “Cheers.”

“Cheers.” As their glasses clinked, an odd look crossed her face.

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