Page 84 of Love and Other Paradoxes

“Absolutely,” called Joe, waving.

“Are you actually going to tell him the truth?” Esi murmured.

“Aye, I think so. He deserves it.” He watched Rob run into the embrace of his Assassin friends. Efua was sitting nearby, her smile wavering. He leaned in to speak in Esi’s ear. “What about her? She looks like she needs cheered up.”

She turned to him, so close he could kiss her, a look of awed terror in her eyes. “What if I change her future?”

“That’s the point, isn’t it?” He shrugged. “Change her next five minutes. Make them better.”

She gave him a wide, full-hearted smile. Hesitantly, then with resolve, she walked over.

Efua looked up and made room for her on the bench. He didn’twant to eavesdrop, but as the conversation around them ebbed and flowed, he couldn’t help overhearing fragments.

“Your hair looks amazing,” Esi said.

“I was worried about it raining. Didn’t realise it’d have to withstand a black hole.” They both laughed. “Yours is incredible. Where did you get it done?”

“At home. My housemate has a gift. Took her hours, but at least I got to catch up on the latest about this librarian she has a crush on.”

They laughed again, their voices subsiding into a murmur. He watched Esi, how her nerves gave way to smiles, how she gradually leaned in, like a compass drawn to the north.

“So you’re really into Assassins?” he heard her ask.

Efua nodded. “Trying to survive here, it’s—intense. I just sometimes need to let it all out by killing people, you know?”

Esi laughed—God, he loved her laugh, the way her eyes screwed up in joy, an unshed tear spilling to the ground. “Yeah. I get it.” She looked at her mum with trembling hope. “So? Did you survive?”

“Oh, I more than survived.” A smile broke across her face. “I found my people. I made this place my own.”

Their voices lowered again. As she listened, Esi looked up at him and laughed, her face glowing. He just gazed at her, knowing he probably looked like a lovesick idiot, but not really caring enough to stop.

She stood up, her voice rising again. “You’re amazing, by the way. You should know that.”

Efua looked up with delighted surprise. “So are you.”

They embraced, holding each other tight. Esi said something in her ear before she walked away. Efua watched her leave with a puzzled smile.

Joe took in her face as she came back to him, shining with deep, fierce joy. “Did you tell her who you are?”

She looked back over her shoulder, waving. “No.”

He looked at her curiously. “So what did you say to her?”

She smiled, tears glinting in her eyes. “I told her everything’s going to be okay.”

Chapter Twenty-Nine

They left college. He could have asked her to stay, spend the rest of the Ball with him, but it would only have been delaying the inevitable. They headed for King’s Lane, where her steps had always been taking her. Fireworks trailed in neon colours across the sky, like a celebration happening in another universe. As he watched the starbursts reflecting in her eyes, she slid her hand into his.

They walked along like lovers, not like two people who should never have met and were about to end up on opposite sides of a cosmic portal. He tried to hold on to her lightly, but the feeling of her hand in his was a torment: an apology that meant nothing, a promise there was no way she could keep.

“So help me visualise it,” he said, feeling like if he didn’t say something, he would fly to pieces. “You step through, and then—what? What’s on the other side?”

She walked slow and swaying, her hip brushing against him. “There’s a gift shop. And an exhibition, about you and your poetry and Diana.” Still waiting for him in the future, no matter what he had decided. The idea sent a chill through his heart. “There’s also a statue.”

He stared at her, his train of thought completely derailed. “A statue?”

“Yeah. A giant statue of you doing this.” She posed briefly with her chin on her fist, her expression comically serious.

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