“You agreed,” she whispered. “You can’t even talk to me now. We’re still fighting like before.”
His hand slid from hers and he stepped away. “You’re right. I promised. If it’s what you want, I’ll keep my word.”
She turned the knob and entered her room. She walked into the bathroom, grabbed tissues and returned to climb on her bed. The light from the bathroom gave off enough glow to make her feel comfortable as she cried.
What if she took him back? How many times did she watch women return to their husbands after they cheated or because they didn’t want to be alone? Anger and rage filled her as she recalled how hard she fought for them and he came and went like a zombie. He treated her like one more mechanical part he must fix before he left.
Knight paced his room,unsure what to do. She still wanted the divorce. When he heard her soft cries, he didn’t bother knocking. “Gabby. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to upset?—”
A pillow flew past his head. He ducked. A banana hit him in the chest. His hand automatically rubbed where the projectile hit him. An apple bounced off his forehead, surprising him.
“Get out!” she wailed as her pitcher’s arm threw another missile at him.
“What the hell? You’ve not said two words to me all evening and now you decide to decapitate me?”
“You’re a…a…an asshole!” She hissed.
“I know.” He slowly approached her.
“Do you know how much it hurt to stand on the graduation stage when you never showed up? Or how I felt when I waited all day for you to come home when the team returned on my birthday? You didn’t even wish me a happy birthday.” Tears fell down her cheeks. “How can you go by Knight when you didn’t try to save our marriage? You’re deliberately trying to confuse me. You’re acting nice. I planted the tree in the front yard because it bloomed pretty, pink blossoms. It complemented the house’s color. Then you yelled at me.”
“I did,” he agreed softly as he wiped the tears from her face.
“You started arguments for no reason. You left me alone even when you returned.”
“Yes,” he whispered, taking responsibility for everything he put her through.
“You accused me of cheating on you.” she cried. “How can you stand there and say you believed me capable of doing such a thing when I showed you nothing but love?”
“I can’t.” Knight didn’t deny it. He needed to hear how he hurt her.
“You kicked me out of the house I made into our home.” She pushed his chest. He didn’t stop her.
“You humiliated me when Scott brought me home from the hospital. I thought I lost our child,” she sobbed.
“I’m sorry I did that to you.” Tears ran down his cheek as he watched her hurt-filled expression. “You have every right to feel angry. Can we sit on the bed? The baby, Gabby,” he gently reminded her as he backed her up to the edge of the mattress.
“Why? Why did you do it, Marcus? You refused to talk to me. Not even in our worst fights did we leave things as you did. I don’t understand.” She peered at him with confusion in her eyes.
“I didn’t comprehend what happened to me then. If you want to talk, will you please lie down? I’ll answer any questions I can. We don’t want your blood pressure skyrocketing and Dr. Beecham isn’t here,” he pleaded softly.
She let him lift her legs and press her against the pillows until he deemed her comfortable.
He lay down beside her. “I can’t discuss my missions with you. The last year I stayed with the team, I grew restless. The team and I didn’t get along and some of the missions…they stuck in my head. It felt like we barely touched down before we spun up again. When we returned home, you were gone more often than not. The list on the fridge reminded me of what I needed to complete before we spun up again. My ability to care for you and the missions, sort of mixed together.”
He caressed her cheek to calm her down. “You know what happened with my dad? I never wanted you to think I’d leave you to handle everything like my dad did with us. I started the list to remind me you couldn’t handle everything alone. You still needed me even when I didn’t feel worthy. Then I forgot to do things and the list became my reminder of how I failed you. When I returned and you happily crossed off items from the fridge, I felt angry…because you didn’t need me.”
“I wanted you. The house became a project of love. I hoped one day, you’d return and see how much I turned it into a home for you. You seemed angry all the time. I didn’t want to fight when I knew you might spin up in a moment’s notice.”
“None of this was your fault. My commander suggested I work a black op when I went in for my review. I accepted the position in exchange for an early contract termination. I thought it’d only take a couple of months. It took quite a bit longer and I witnessed things and it got jumbled inside my head. I worried about your safety. Hence, the fight about the tree. It blocked the view of the street.”
Gabby’s hand held his and pulled it to her chest.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Pride, guilt, and I screwed up. When I returned and kicked you out, I completed my mission and planned on coming home to tell you about my contract ending. Instead, I terminated my marriage.”
“Why did you refuse to see me? I told you I needed to speak to you about something important.”