Page 46 of Absolute Valor

If you love someone tell them… hearts are often broken by words left unspoken.

I’d watched her all day. From the moment she walked across the pavers we helped daddy lay around the pool a few summers ago, my eyes had been locked on the skin she revealed to every male eye in attendance. I’d hardly slept the night before, having tossed and turned after I sat outside her house, waiting to get a glimpse of her or Grace. Miss Molly had been working in her flowerbed, at one point she looked up from her weeding and waved to me.

Several of my parents’ guests came up to me, asking questions I’m not sure I answered correctly. Grace looked so adorable in her pink bathing suit. When I got the confirmation she was coming, I went shopping for the tiny creature who owned me. Once I knew Audrey was at the grocery store, I knocked on Miss Molly’s door and asked her to give the suit and floaty to her. “It’s a good thing I’m a believer in true love, otherwise I’d make you give them to her yourself.”

I’ve committed my fair share of unforgivable sins and repented for every single one of them, but as I watched Audrey shimmying out of her shorts, I knew God himself was getting back at me. Audrey has always taken the definition of conservative to the extreme, with her sweaters and long skirts, the only skin she ever showed was the skin on her hands and face. Seeing the shape of her ass and the way her suit clung to every curve, stirred something primal in me. It made me want to rip out the throats of every motherfucker who was looking at her. But the true torture, the point where my reserve broke was when she dropped those fucking shorts and I got a clear view of her ass cheeks and the edge of her breasts.

The clanging of my beer bottle hitting the side of the table and crashing to the bricks of the deck, sounded like mortar shells falling instead of glass.

“Chase, are you okay, son?”

“Nothing a few minutes in the bathroom wouldn’t cure.” Dylan and his crassness answered, wiggling his eyebrows like the cocky motherfucker he is.

“Shut the fuck up, Dylan.” Squaring back at him, bending over to pick up the broken glass, making sure none of Momma’s society friends heard us.

Just as promised, Jackson Siever walks over like a prize bull. When I first heard he had landed back in town, I’d hoped he’d lost all of his hair and grown a potbelly. When he came into the office, flashing his pearly whites and his wad of cash, I considered laughing at him when Audrey turned him down flat.

He goes to the same gym Dylan and I do, and he earned every muscle he was flashing. Austin was right, as usual Audrey is a beautiful woman and some lucky fuck is going to wake up next to her, receiving a smile she saves just for him and someday, and I pray to God I don’t see it, give him a child they’ll share.

“I recall an afternoon, much like this one, you weren’t school age yet. You and your momma spent a great deal of time together. I had come home to change clothes and catch up with your granddaddy for a game of golf. I found the two of you, sitting on the back porch, playing with dump trucks and eating grapes. You would put the fruit to your mouth and kiss it before feeding it to her. The two of you laughed and I stayed watching so long, I missed meeting up with granddaddy.” Looking away from Audrey and Grace, the baby giggles gifting me a smile as I watched.

“Be careful, Chase. It’s a package deal, just as the three of you were. You’ve got a lot on your plate, but so does she. Don’t go running over there to shut your brother up, or shut Jackson down.” Giving me one last reassuring smile, he disappeared toward where momma and Audrey stood. I contemplated grabbing another beer from the cooler or finding something stronger at the corner store, trying to lose myself in a bottle of something strong.

When Jackson held out his hand to help her out of the pool, my decision was made, I couldn’t stand to be here another minute. I couldn’t watch as he played with the baby or when he stole a kiss from Audrey—something that would send me over the edge.

I had to get out of here, and fast. Ignoring Dylan as he called my name, I didn’t give a shit what he had to say. I weaved in and out of the clusters of people as they stood and sucked up daddy’s free booze. Sliding out the gate toward the barn, I had to try three times before it would let me pass since the latch was sticking. Even in the wide open space, I felt closed in and cut off, unable to take a deep breath in until the gate slammed behind me.

Dust clouded around me as I floored my truck as fast as she would go. The tinkling sound of rocks taking chips out of my paint did nothing to slow me down, the fucking thing could rot for all I care. Tall Georgia pines, Magnolia trees and underbrush passed by so fast they blurred into a curtain of green. White fence posts and manicured lawns pulled me to a stop, the edge of the property where my parents’ ownership ended and mine began. Pulling onto the dirt driveway, I cut my engine and slammed my door. My frustration was so high, I turn, jamming my fingers into my sweat drenched hair and slumping my head against the side of my truck.

How was it possible for me to fuck this up so bad? She was honest with me, and I bailed because I let the bullshit of one man poison the growing relationship I had with Audrey. Of course I wasn’t her daddy, but when it came down to brass tacks, neither was he. Dean never changed a diaper or cut my umbilical cord, but he taught me how to throw the perfect curveball. How to jump a ramp on my skateboard and he showed me, by example, how to say you’re sorry when you fuck up, and also how to love without end.

Pushing myself off the side of my truck, I slid back into the driver’s seat, and slowly moved down the winding dirt road. I took a deep breath as the smell of new lumber grew heavier. When I hired my contractor, he made it clear I would have to pour the foundation before summer started if I wanted my home finished before Christmas. I had this big picture in my head of carrying Audrey over the threshold and loving her to pieces on the rug by the fireplace. Granted, this was all conceived before I learned Grace existed.

Looking out over the piles of lumber, I could see my porch already taking shape in the clearing I’d chosen. My home wouldn’t be anywhere close to the size of my parents, but looking over the mass of land, I had plenty of room to expand. Sitting on the cool concrete, I stared at my name etched in the corner, something I had done after they leveled it off. Tracing the letters and recalling the day we poured the foundation for one of the barns on granddaddy’s land.

It was my junior year and I was mad crazy about this girl, Robin Olms. She was a senior and had broken things off with her boyfriend. As we wrote our names in his barn floor, Granddaddy asked me how I was treating the ladies at school. I told him of my wanting to see Robin, but worried she would get back together with her old boyfriend. “Chase, unless there’s a ring on that finger, you still have a chance.”

Granddaddy had been wrong about Robin—not long after she broke it off, she found out she was pregnant. He put a ring on her finger when her daddy went over and spoke with his daddy. But he wasn’t wrong when it came to Audrey, or the lack of a ring on her finger.

Momma was talking with Jackson as I ran in through the front door, he looked to be getting ready to leave as he had her in a hug. “Where’s Audrey?” I panted, having run all the way from the road.

“Chase, where are your manners?” She turned to Jackson, “You’ll have to excuse him, being so far away has caused him to forget how to greet a guest.”

Jackson ate that shit up, a smile spreading across his face as fake as the Rolex he wore. “It’s all right, Mrs. Morgan, I need to head out anyway. Thank you for inviting me and for having such lovely guests.” He winked in my direction as Momma opened the door for him.

“You drive safe, now.”

“Where is Audrey?” I demanded as she waved to a retreating Jackson, who was jogging down the drive.

She turned slowly in my direction, a scowl forming on her face. “Audrey has taken the baby home, like any good mother would. And don’t think for a minute I didn’t notice you staring at her like a slab of meat.” Her hands were on her hips, after slamming the door behind her. “Never once did you come over and speak with her. You made her so uncomfortable she left after your daddy had a moment with her about the trailer.”

My attention was captured, “What trailer?” My voice sounding angrier than I meant. “The one I’m subpoenaing to have removed from her credit.” Daddy stood at the end of the hall, his reading glasses in hand and a file tucked under his arm. “I had Austin tap into the company’s records, he poked around and found me the scanned photos of the couple who took out the loan, no surprise to find Lucas and Amy sittin’ pretty as they committed fraud.”

“You can’t use them in court, so what was the point?”

“Don’t need to use them in court, I needed to see if there was any evidence of fraud, which there is. I contacted the home office who had no idea what was happening. They’ve been more than willing to handle all of this out of court, and I have filed the paperwork to have the permits drawn up and the trailer removed.”

“How much of a retainer did you charge her with?”

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