Page 26 of Tactical Lies

“I’m sorry, Becca. For everything. We need to get out of here. Back to the village. I want you to shoot only if you have to, but if you do have to, your aim is for one thing only. Protect yourself and get out of here. You don’t worry about anything else,” Connor commanded, his voice harsh.

She knew what he was saying, and her head shook in denial.

“I can't just leave?—”

“You can and you will leave me behind if it means you live,” Connor cut her off and spoke in a voice that brokered no arguments.

Despite what he said she couldn’t do that.

Unresolved or not, she still had feelings for Connor even if she wasn't one hundred percent certain exactly what those feelings were. No way would she leave him behind.

No way.

“I failed you, Becca,” Connor said, his voice tortured now, losing the control it had possessed just a moment ago. “Do you know how much I hate myself for that? How much I want to go back in time and rewrite the past to have the future I always dreamed of? I let down the only woman I will ever love, and even if you could ever forgive me for it, I will never forgive myself. I will not fail you again. I. Will. Not,” he vowed fiercely. “My own life means nothing to me if you're not alive. Nothing.”

What could she say to that?

The emotion pouring off Connor filled the tent, seeping inside her and soothing a little of her past hurts, healing some of those old wounds.

Still, she wouldn't agree to prioritize her life over his.

Snapping his control back in place, Connor headed for the tent flap. “You stay behind me, do what I say when I say it, and let me protect you however I have to. Because one thing is for sure, Becca, I am getting you home alive.”

As she followed him out into the warm night, Becca realized that in this moment she’d never, not even in all the years they’d spent apart, felt so much distance between herself and Connor.

And she didn't like it.

Chapter

Seven

August 18th

3:38 A.M.

If it was the last thing he ever did, Connor would get Becca home alive.

That was all that ran through his mind as he swept up the tent flap and stepped through it.

Okay, it wasn'tallthat was on his mind.

In reality, his mind was running in a million different directions, covering everything from his fear for Becca to his regret over the past, to the knowledge that she’d been going to say no when he asked if she could give him another chance.

Maybe he should have begged for one.

He absolutely wasn't too proud to do anything that would allow him to keep Becca in his life.

It didn't matter that he’d told himself when he decided to come to Cambodia that he had no expectations, that he just needed to apologize, and he could handle just being friends, it was all a lie.

Because he wanted it all.

He wanted the future he’d cheated all three of them out of.

Even though he knew the miscarriage likely had nothing to do with him leaving Becca that night and making the worst mistake of his life, he couldn’t help but wonder if their son would have lived if he’d stuck around.

Which was not a productive road to be running down when they were trapped in the middle of a camp full of men who wouldn't hesitate to rape and kill Becca. Not him though, because apparently, this whole ordeal was meant to push him into convincing his family to back off on their hunt for answers.

Not that it would work.

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