Page 39 of Tactical Lies

From the way Cole kept darting glances at Susanna, Becca knew the younger woman was in good hands. Cole was a great guy, and she was glad he’d found someone to spend his life with.

Her gaze darted once again to where Connor leaned against the doorjamb. There was a hint of despair in his eyes that hadn't been there before.

She’d put it there.

By blurting out that she’d been engaged.

“Cole said you and Connor used to be a couple,” Susanna said gently.

“For a long time. He was my first love.” Turning back to face the other woman, she read the expression on her face. “I’m guessing he told you that I was raped while in college. Connor was there through all of it, right by my side, giving me whatever I needed. Then I found out I was pregnant. We didn't know if Connor or my rapist was the baby’s father, and Connor freaked, told me he couldn’t raise another man’s child, especially not a man who hurt me. He left our apartment, and I was heartbroken. I packed my stuff, called my parents, and went back home. I refused to talk to him and hadn't seen him until he turned up in Cambodia.”

“I know it’s absolutely none of my business, we don’t know each other, and you have no reason to trust me, so you can tell me to mind my own business if you want.”

Susanna’s sincerity made her chuckle. “I would never do that. Cole was a good friend to me when we were kids. If you're with him then that makes us friends because I’d like to keep Cole and the others in my life.”

“Do you still love Connor?”

“Yes.” The word fell from her lips without thought, an automatic answer to a question that had played in her mind a lot in the first few years after they broke up.

Nothing could ever change that.

Not him leaving her.

Not her inability to let it go.

Not twelve years of him being absent from her life.

Loving Connor Charleston was as natural to her as breathing.

“I know that doesn’t fix everything … doesn’t fix anything really … but at least you know that. It’s something to hold onto,” Susanna said.

“Something to hold onto,” Becca echoed. The other woman was right, it was something to hold onto, something solid when her world had once again been tossed upside down.

Glancing over, she saw that Connor still hadn't moved, and she didn't like the distance between them. She’d survived twelve years without him, but for some reason, it seemed next to impossible to face the next minute with him on the other side of the room.

“The guys and I were talking,” Cade announced as he and Jake handed out cups of coffee.

“About me?” Becca asked, assuming it was since he was looking right at her. She’d missed these guys, they’d been such a big part of her childhood and adolescence. Looking back with hindsight she knew she shouldn’t have cut all the Charleston and Holloway brothers out of her life along with Connor. They’d just been a painful reminder of what she’d lost, and it was easier to not deal with it than face it headlong.

Which is what she should have done with Connor back then.

Instead of running because he’d hurt her, she should have done the mature thing and stayed and talked it out. Even if she’d decided she needed to break up with him she’d owed him at least a conversation instead of running like a coward.

“Yeah, about you, pipsqueak,” Cooper answered, earning him a scowl, which he merely laughed at.

“We need you to stay someplace safe while we sort this mess out,” Cade continued. “Going home to your family is exactly where they’ll look for you, and now they know that you are, in fact, a good way to target Connor.”

Connor didn't say anything, and his silence and distance were making her uneasy.

Did she want a second chance with him?

Honestly, she wasn't sure. But she did know she didn't want Connor to hate her for trying to move on with her life.

“That makes sense, I won't go home,” she agreed. While she would have liked to go home and see her parents and sister, it had been too long since she’d last been in the same room as them, she absolutely did not want to put them in danger. “I can go and stay at a hotel or something.”

“Hotel is a terrible security risk,” Jake told her.

“So, we came up with a better solution,” Jax added.

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