Page 6 of Tactical Lies

But he was.

And he had to find a way to prove it to her.

“I’m here for you, moonlight.”

Whirling around, once again almost losing her balance, it took everything Connor possessed not to run to her, steady her, and be ready to catch her when she fell. It was only remembering that he’d lost that right, and Becca loathed his touch, that kept him rooted to the spot, his hands still curled into fists tight enough his fingers ached.

“Do not call me that,” Becca snarled at him.

Seeing her like this, so cold, so hard, so angry, it shook him. The Becca he remembered from childhood was a sweet, slightly shy girl, who was always smiling, always giggling, always such a free spirit. She loved music, loved to dance and paint, she was a creative who had so much imagination inside her it couldn’t help but spill out around her, painting the world in bright colors.

Of course, things had changed after her assault, but back then she’d sought comfort and security from him, dragging him closer rather than shoving him away like she was now.

His fault.

He was the one who had messed this up.

What should have been the perfect love story, the kind that made up fairytales and romance novels, had been ruined by him and him alone.

“I’m sorry, I won't call you that,” he agreed, he’d agree to anything if it could wipe the hatred out of those dark blue eyes he used to love staring into.

Becca said nothing.

Just stood there and glared at him.

“I came to do what I should have done all those years ago,” he told her. If she was giving him an opportunity to talk, he had better hurry up and say what he needed to because he knew she could walk away at any second. “I’m here to apologize.”

“To apologize?” she repeated like the words sounded ridiculous.

“I owe you the world’s biggest apology,” he acknowledged. Getting down on his hands and knees and crawling across shards of broken glass or hot coals was not out of the question. Nothing was out of the question.

“You think any amount of sorry can make up for you walking out on me when I learned I was pregnant?” Becca demanded, planting her hands on her hips and cocking her head. That was such a Becca move, one he’d seen hundreds of times before when they were arguing over something stupid, that he had to fight back a smile knowing she wouldn't understand it was because he missed her in all her wonderful shades of life.

“No, moo—, no, Becca,” he replied, catching himself before the nickname that had always fallen so easily from his lips could slip out. “Nothing in the world can make up for what I did to you. For how stupidly I acted when I panicked. I’ve spent twelve years wishing someone would invent a time machine so I could go back and fix what I broke. But I'm here to make it right now. Shame kept me away for over a decade, I won't let it keep me away a second longer.”

Tears shimmered in those deep blue depths of her eyes, but she didn't allow them to fall. “You should be ashamed, Connor. I’d only just gotten out of the hospital, was trying to learn to deal with my new reality, and I found out I was pregnant and didn't know if you or the man who raped me were the father. I needed you and instead of being there for me, you told me you didn't think you could raise my rapist’s baby if you weren't the father and left.”

Her voice broke on that last word and his heart cracked into a million pieces.

He had run that night. Driven for hours, panicked and crying, unable to hold it together any longer he’d let out all the pent-up emotions he’d felt seeing the girl he loved suffering. Emotions he’d kept locked away because he had to be there for Becca. The pregnancy had just been the straw that broke the camel’s back, the last nail in the coffin, no longer had he been able to lock those emotions away and they’d burst out in the worst way possible.

By the time he pulled himself together and returned to their apartment, Becca had packed her things and left. All attempts to contact her had been blocked by her family, and eventually he’d given up.

Another failure.

How could he ever have given up on this woman?

“I don’t accept your apology, Connor. You were what I needed back then, and you left. Now I don’t need you anymore. Nor do I want you. Leave and don’t ever come back.”

With that, she turned and hurried out of the building, leaving him staring after her, his heart cracked wide open, wondering if this had been how she’d felt that night watching him walk away from her, taking her heart with him.

August 16th

10:43 P.M.

Something soft feathered down her cheek.

Becca sighed and nuzzled into the touch.

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