“I wanted you last night, Connor, but I was a coward. I'm not going to be a coward again tonight,” she told him, her hands landing on his shoulders as she studied him, allowing him to see her eyes and the certainty in them.
That was way too open for interpretation for his liking.
Went against their rules, and she knew it.
“Words, Becca. I need you to use your words like a good girl,” he murmured, his voice low as fire lit inside him. If she was asking for this, if she was sure it was what she wanted, then he wouldn't hesitate to give her everything. Everything her body could take and then some.
She shivered and a dreamy smile lit her face. “I always loved it when you called me a good girl.”
“You are though, aren't you?” His hands shifted slightly, still holding her hips, but now his thumbs hovered on her soft skin, right at the edges of those tiny jean cut-off shorts she was wearing. So close to where he longed to touch her. “My good girl.”
“Yours, Connor,” she agreed, squirming a little.
“Then give me your words, baby. Tell me what you want. What you need.”
“Everything,” she answered without hesitation. “I need your hands on me, touching me, like you used to. I want your mouth driving me wild, sucking on me, licking me, making me come on your tongue. I don’t think I can survive another day ending without feeling you inside me, making me complete again.”
“Makinguscomplete,” he corrected. Because there was no Connor without Becca, just like there was no Becca without Connor. They were two halves of the same whole, and even though Becca said she forgave him for tearing them apart, he wasn't sure he would ever completely forgive himself.
“Making us complete,” she agreed. “But first, before I let you touch me, I need to do this.”
Shifting off his lap, Connor reluctantly uncurled his fingers and let her go because one thing was certain, and that was in any making out they did, Becca would always be in control. Becca knelt before him. Not in a submissive way, neither of them was into that, although, no shade to anyone who was, but it wasn't their thing. They were equals in every way including in the bedroom.
But this wasn't about submission, this was Becca reminding herself she was safe and in control, that only what she wanted would happen between them.
So even though he ached to touch her, bring her pleasure, he didn't move as she pulled his length free. Didn't move as the heat of her mouth enveloped him. Didn't grab her hair and begin to thrust into her mouth as she sucked on him, her hands joining in the fun, touching and stroking.
This was his girl’s show, and when pleasure coiled tightly inside him, then exploded throughout him Connor watched in wonder as his beautiful, brave, strong, smart girl stared back at him with so much love in her eyes he felt like he was drowning in pleasure.
August 22nd
8:57 P.M.
“My turn,” Connor growled before she even finished swallowing.
His hands hooked under her armpits, and he lifted her up and onto his lap like she weighed nothing at all. While Becca knew she was small, only five foot two, and weighing in at just over a hundred pounds, Toby had never been able to lift her like that. Not that there was anything wrong with him being skinny and a little on the scrawny side, at the time it hadn't mattered, but there, with Connor, seeing how strong he was, she realized she’d missed it.
Maybe a part of her had been damaged when she was assaulted that liked knowing how big Connor was, how easily he could protect her.
“You ready for my fingers, babe?” Connor asked, a reflection of the firelight dancing in his eyes, giving her a literal representation of what she knew he was feeling inside.
“I’m ready,” she said breathlessly.
Actually, she was more than ready.
She was ready to let go and move forward, ready to stop allowing the past to control her future, ready to hand her trust back to Connor and pray that this time he wouldn't wind up using it against her.
He wouldn't.
If she’d needed any more convincing, then the way he’d just reminded her that he would only touch her if she expressly asked him to, using her words, as he called it, had pushed her over.
Connor had her best interests at heart, and this time, they both knew the cost of him ever shoving aside his own needs to prioritize hers. He had promised her he’d learned from that mistake and wouldn't repeat it, and she believed him.
“Touch me, Connor,” she whispered and was rewarded by a kiss, exactly the kind she’d craved earlier. This one wasn't soft and gentle, it stoked the fires burning inside her and stole her ability to think because all she could do was feel.
When his fingers brushed against her soaked center she was almost caught by surprise.
She’d been too caught up in his mouth, his lips against hers, his tongue dueling with her own to realize anything else.