Page 93 of Wild Hearts

"Oh?" I asked, my heart thumping.

"She said so I could experience all the firsts with a new baby." He was quiet for a few seconds, then added, "But that seems wrong."

I rested my head onto his shoulder. "You'll never get those firsts with Dakota."

"And I shouldn't have another child just to experience having a small baby or a child."

"It comes down to whether you want to have another child. It's not really about Dakota," I said carefully. I'd never navigated this particular situation, especially with a boyfriend.

"Wouldn't it be a big gap between Dakota and a baby?"

"Dakota's great with kids. I'm sure she'll be a good big sister. She's the one who's encouraging you."

"I'm overthinking this. It's just I never really thought about it. I was so busy with work; I couldn't see myself settling down and having kids. But everything's different now."

"You don't have the constraints of the military schedule."

"For now, I want to enjoy having Dakota in my life."

"That's fair. You only just got her." I tried not to read too much into this conversation. It was his first time considering having kids after he discovered he had a surprise teenager. He didn't ask me what I wanted. But he'd only just considered it as a possibility. Maybe he wasn't thinking of kids with me yet.

I tried not to let that bother me. My head was reeling with anxiety when his breathing evened out.

I hoped I wasn't making a mistake being with him. That all he needed was time and everything would come together. He'd realize what he wanted out of life, and we could have that discussion. We were so new. We had plenty of time.

21

WALKER

Iwas starting to regret this trip to Virginia. I'd only grown more anxious with each day that passed. Was it a good idea for Dakota to be exposed to so many things that would remind her of her mother?

Would her grandparents be respectful of my role in her life? Or would they insist on seeing more of Dakota? I wasn't prepared for a fight over custody.

I hadn't seen much of Addison since Christmas, which only increased my anxiety. I needed her by my side to soothe my worries. She was my voice of reason.

On the morning of the flight, we packed and headed toward the airport.

"I wish Addison was coming with us. I could show her my school and introduce her to my friends."

"I hadn't thought about asking her to come." This was one of those trips that felt like it was for just me and Dakota. But I couldn't lie to myself and say it wouldn't have made things easier. Addison helped me to see things in a different way.

Dakota rolled her eyes. "Is she part of your life now or not? Sometimes it seems like you're purposely keeping her apartfrom us. At some point, you have to make a decision to go all in with her."

The advice was so profoundly spot-on I was speechless for a moment. "That's good advice."

Dakota grinned. "I'm good at this stuff."

"I don't even want to know why."

"I haven't had a boyfriend, if that's what you're asking."

"I wasn't," I growled as the familiar panic set in.

We parked, took the shuttle to the ticketing counter, and then went through security. Dakota put her headphones on, leaving me to mindlessly scroll on my phone.

Addison: I hope you have a good trip.

Walker: I wish you were with us.

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