Page 43 of Love and Other Chances

I rein myself in from sprinting down the stairs to my car. Once inside, I clutch the steering wheel, trying to calm the tremble in my fingers.

Brooks’ whisper fills my mind. “It’s everything.”

I know it is. But could I ever recover from losing everything a second time?

Chapter seventeen

After driving aimlessly around town for a while, I eventually send a voice memo recap of my conversation with Brooks to the Beefs group chat. Lana and Amaya send back their supportive but non-directive thoughts, refusing to solve the “what should I do?” dilemma for me.

My sleep is restless, so I get up early and hop in my car, deciding to break out of town for a day. I send a text to Amaya asking if we can hang out in KC and start driving that direction before she even responds. She’s probably sleeping in on this Saturday morning, but my flight instinct can’t wait for her to wake up.

I have my “Forget Everything and Dance” playlist pumping while I drive, helping me escape the thousands of thoughts piling up in my mind. An hour into the trip, I get a text back from Amaya.

AMAYA

Girl, you’re crazy. But yes, let’s hang. Meet me in Westport and we’ll find somewhere to go

A couple of hours later, I hug Amaya like I haven’t seen her in a year. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, Beef!” I tell her, and she only laughs in response. She pulls back from me and raises her eyebrows in silent communication.

“I need distraction. No serious talk,” I state, and Amaya nods.

We spend the day jaunting around Kansas City, eating lunch, shopping, exploring a park, picking up dinner, and talking about anything other than Brooks. Aside from appreciating the distraction from my thoughts, I love seeing Amaya in her new element here. Not sure howI managed to snag such a powerhouse of a businesswoman as my best friend, but I’ll proudly ride on her coattails forever.

I spend the night at Amaya’s apartment. I can’t risk in-person conversation with my mom just yet, knowing she’ll sense my dodginess and pull the Brooks angst out of me.

Right when I’ve gotten comfy on the couch, a text dings on my phone. I can’t handle the suspense of what I might be missing out on, so I check it.

BROOKS

Gina told me you weren’t home this morning, so your kind but confused roommate got to enjoy your cinnamon dolce latte. Please enjoy this video instead. #fullcourtpress

A video comes through a second later. It’s Brooks dancing and lip-syncing to NSYNC’s “I Want You Back,” hitting every move flawlessly.

I giggle softly, and watch the video on loop. It’s everything my viral dance-loving heart can’t resist. But maybe he’s everything Ishouldbe resisting.

BROOKS

And now you know how I spent my Saturday. Hope you’ve had a good day

I don’t say anything else, and Brooks doesn’t respond further. Switching my phone to silent, I close my eyes to resist rewatching the video.

Brooks is fully committed to his “full-court press” approach. The Monday morning after my impromptu trip to KC, there’s a bakery bag with fresh double-chocolate muffins waiting on the porch. The attached card reads:

I asked them for the sweetest muffins they had for the sweetest girl I know. Please read that with the cheesiest tone of voice you can imagine.

- Brooks

#fullcourtpress

I sigh, the breath full of delight or exasperation. Unclear which. Or maybe both. Because every emotion under the sun seems to be constantly bickering inside my head lately. Driving to our staff meeting, I don’t bother resisting the muffins. Sugar is certainly one of the ways to my heart.

Tuesday arrives, and I’d promised Sofia that I would visit her at The Hangout this week. I want to support her and see what it’s all about, but knowing Brooks will likely be there has me hesitating in the parking lot.

“You can fake it, Teegan,” I tell my reflection in the rearview mirror. “Walk in there, support your friend, and pretend Brooks doesn’t affect you. Easy peasy.”

I confidently walk into the community center with my head held high. After checking in at the front and getting a visitor badge, I look around for Sofia. She waves me over to where she’s standing and introduces me to a group of four girls. We’re chatting animatedly when I spot Brooks across the room.

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