Page 48 of Love and Other Chances

Later that night, I’m bundled up in bed with my coziest pajamas and blankets. I unlock my phone, staring at the text threads. I’ve already messaged several times with Lana and Amaya today—Amaya is in Wichita with her mom, while Lana and Mateo stayed in D.C. this year. They’ll be in Michigan with his family for Christmas, which means I don’t know the next time I’ll see Lana in person. It makes me sad, but also grateful that she came to my birthday party. Which leads me back to Brooks.

I click open his text thread, contemplating what to say. How much to say. If I should even sayanything.

Was busy all day, but thank you for all your kind words this morning. I’m grateful that you wound up in Brooklyn and walked through the door of Joy and Caleb’s house

Seconds later, the three dots start bouncing.

BROOKS

I’ll never stop thanking God that I got to walk through that door

Chapter nineteen

Ihead back to Brooklyn the Saturday after Thanksgiving so that I can attend church on Sunday. Brooks isn’t here, not that I’m watching for him. Simply a casual observation.

When the service ends, Joy finds me. “Teegan! Did you have a good Thanksgiving? Who did you celebrate with?” she asks.

“I did! Just my parents in KC, but we had a good day. How about you?” I return the question.

“We did have a great time. We traveled to see Caleb’s family a few hours away, and it was good to see everyone,” Joy answers. “Hey, would you be free for lunch today? I know I see you every week at small group, but we haven’t been able to talk one-on-one in a while.”

“I’d love to! I don’t have anything going on. Caleb won’t mind?”

“Oh no, he’ll be fine,” she says. “He’ll be content to sit and watch football in the silence all day. He enjoys people time, but he’s an introvert at his core. So some alone time after seeing extended family will be good for him.”

Joy rides with me to Sandy’s, a sandwich shop in Center Square that’s a local favorite. We order food and find a table in the corner. She asks me lots of questions about campus, which I’m well-prepared to answer after sharing so many of the same stories with my parents. But then she asks a question that I’m not prepared to hear.

“So, have any of the guys from our small group caught your eye in a more-than-friends way?” There’s a twinkle in her eyes as she asks.

I swallow my bite of sandwich before chewing fully, and it goes down with a fight. Gulping water, I cough and clap my chest.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to choke you,” she apologizes. But the twinkle in her eye has only grown at my flustered response. “I mean, you don’t have to answer. I think that all of you are so amazing, and Ilovelove, so I can’t help but hope that some matches might be made. I apologize if I overstepped our friendship in asking.”

“Ummm, ahhh, no, you’re totally fine, Joy.” I stumble over the words. “I mean, youarea friend I trust and would want to talk about these kinds of things with.”

My eyes shift around the restaurant as my knee starts bouncing under the table.

“I just wasn’t expecting that question. You caught me off guard, that’s all,” I say, trying to buy more time to decide how to answer.

Joy takes a big bite of her buffalo chicken wrap, giving me ample opportunity to continue talking.

I take another drink of water, desperate to cool down the flush heating my face. “So, yeah, I guess there’s a connection,” I say with false levity in my voice. “Or theremightbe one. Still to be determined.”

She silently regards me with encouraging eyes. I blow out a long exhale. “Brooks and I are . . . well, we’ve talked, and there’s the possibility of something, maybe.”

“I knew it!” Joy exclaims, raising her fists and shimmying her shoulders with delight. “You two seem so perfect for each other, and I thought I sensed something in how he looks at you.”

The heat returns to my cheeks at her comment.How much do I explain? Leave it at that, or fill her in on the bigger picture?

I bite my lip before deciding to dive in. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” I begin hesitantly. “Um, Brooks and I, well, we have more history between us than just small group this semester.”

“Right, you knew each other in high school,” Joy states. I give her a meaningful look. Her eyes widen as the light bulb flips on. “Ohhh, youdatedin high school.”

Nodding, I blow out a breath. “As Brooks shared already, he wasn’t a Christian in high school. And he ended our relationship very . . . poorly.”

Joy’s face softens with empathy. “I’m sorry to hear that, Teegan.”

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago. And he’s obviously changed a lot since then. We both have,” I reason. “But it did mess me up for a long time when our relationship ended. It was . . . well, the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. So I’m trying to figure out if I’m willing to risk a repeat.”

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