Page 59 of Love and Other Chances

He sighs again but nods. Then he quirks one eyebrow before asking, “Just so we’re on the same page, Icanbe sweet to you in over-the-top, obnoxiously sugary ways, right?”

I roll my eyes and let my hands drop from his face, but he catches them in his. “Baby, let the games begin,” he teases, gently squeezing my hands.

I roll my eyes harder, but I can’t help but grin. “You and your song lyrics. The gift that keeps on giving.”

“Speaking of, I did not bring you a Christmas gift tonight, per your strict orders,” he says, giving me a disapproving look. “But that doesn’tmean you won’t be receiving something soon that is completely unrelated to Christmas gift-giving traditions.”

I bite my lip to contain my smile. “You are impossible. Merry Christmas, Brooks.”

“Merry Christmas, Sneaks.”

Logan and I have an enjoyable Christmas morning with Dad, although he seems a little distracted the whole time. We eat brunch and open gifts before watchingHome Alonetogether, just like we did growing up. It’s been several years of this new normal of split traditions, so I should be used to it. But I’m more despondent about it this year than usual. Maybe it’s my reconnection with Brooks? But something has made me wish for the old days together as an intact family unit more than I have in recent years.

I stay at Mom’s house for an extra couple of days after Christmas because we have our annual Arrow staff planning retreat at an AirBnb at the Lake of the Ozarks. While students are on the extended winter break, we take a few days away as a staff team to plan for the upcoming semester. It doesn't make sense to drive back to Brooklyn only to turn around and drive to Missouri again a few days later.

I’m in my room packing to leave when Mom comes in holding a package. “You got a delivery!” she says, handing it over to me with a wink. “You’ll never guess who sent it.”

A smile jumps to my lips, and I accept the bubble mailer from her.

“I’m glad that Brooks could come over on Christmas Eve,” Mom muses. “Well, minus the punching incident. Although, maybe it was good for Logan to get that out of his system. He might have a more open mind now.”

I huff. “It better be out of his system, and he’d better have an open mind now. Because this is happening whether he likes it or not.”

Mom unexpectedly wraps me up in a hug. “It was good for my heart to see you two together. To hear you explain how you arrived at the decision to give him another chance. To hear Brooks explain howhis life has changed over the past several years. To see the growth in him—in both of you. It put my mind at ease.”

I hug her tightly before pulling back to look her in the eyes. “You know, I think it was good for me too. To articulate everything to a skeptical crowd. And I meant what I said—I trust Brooks, and I trust myself. But more than that, I trust God to help both of us have a healthier relationship than the first time. I’m grateful that we have the chance.”

Mom smiles, and then she shoos herself away so I can open my package from Brooks. He did promise a “non-Christmas” gift was on the way.

Opening the bubble mailer, I find what looks to be a book wrapped in brown craft paper. It’s an intricate wrapping job, made to look like an overlapping “v” pattern on the front. There are multi-color Flair pens tucked into the flaps along with pastel page tabs. It’s tied with a festive ribbon, and he’s written my name on the front. When I flip the package over, I snort a small laugh at the excessive amount of tape holding it together. I can picture Brooks muttering under his breath while attempting to copy some book-wrapping tutorial video. The thought makes my heart do a series of back flips.

I take a photo of the finished product before untying the ribbon and tearing open the paper. Inside, I find a guided decision-making journal. Flipping open the first page, his inscription reads:

To Teegan -

I don’t think you can make a “wrong” decision in this case, but I hope this helps you sort out your thoughts about your future. I believe in you no matter what you choose.

- Brooks

Skimming the pages of the journal, I see prompts to evaluate past experiences, inventories of emotions and passions, twists on pro/con lists, and lots of guided reflection questions.

This is exactly what I need to help me pull the chaos out of my thoughts.

Your not-Christmas gift arrived. Thank you so much! This is absolutely perfect!

My text doesn’t show as read right away, so I continue packing until Brooks responds several minutes later.

BROOKS

I hope it’s helpful and not overwhelming. Feel free to use it as fire kindling if it tips to the “too much” side

No! It looks like exactly what I need. I think my typical “walk around talking aloud to myself” method may not work in this case. I might even go to a coffee shop today and start filling some of it in before I drive to staff retreat. Orrrrr I might spend the couple of hours shopping to get you the perfect “not-a-holiday” gift

BROOKS

Absolutely not. Don’t waste your time on that. I order you to go to the coffee shop. That is my gift from you

Well, it’s definitely NOT your gift. But I will do it. You’ll just be surprised and unsuspecting when your unexpected present comes

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