Page 72 of Love and Other Chances

“Well, I can tell you one thing that was entirely unsurprising,” Brooks says, taking a deep breath. “The way my feelings for you clicked right back into place. Least surprising thing in the world.”

I bite my lip, breaking eye contact. Looking back up, I lean my head against my hand, mirroring his position. “When did you know?”

He lets out a breathy laugh. “The second I walked in and saw you, I knew it was a matter of time. At least, assuming that you were single and that you were anything like your old self. My heart saw you and just thought, ‘Oh, there you are.’ Like I’d been waiting all these years for you, not even realizing I was waiting.”

Brooks looks down as his thumb traces circles on the side of my knee. “It’s not like I was sitting around pining for you all those years. I don’t think I ever consciously thought I’d get another chance with you. But subconsciously, I could never really care deeply for any of the women I tried to date, which is why I barely dated. I wasn’t willfully holding out for only you. But once I saw you again, my heart could finally release the breath it had been holding for all those years.”

He reaches over to cup my cheek. “When you shut me down from trying to apologize on the car ride back from the silent disco, I was worried that your heart wouldn’t ever feel that same exhale of relief. I tried to convince myself that seeing you was merely my chance tostopsubconsciously living in a holding pattern, to be open to a relationship with someone else in the future.”

My voice is barely a whisper. “When did you know?” I repeat, looking for a different answer now.

A thoughtful smile quirks Brooks’ lips. “When you were sick. Specifically, when you fell asleep duringTrolls, and your hand somehow found its way to mine while you were sleeping. That small gesture gave my heart a taste of hope. Even if you weren’t knowingly ready to give us another chance, that maybeyoursubconscious wanted it. Wanted me.”

His blue eyes look a shade darker now, his stare making my heart race.

“I always wanted you, Brooks. That’s why I was scared. I was scared to still want you,” I whisper.

We move to each other in one fluid motion, our lips finding each other like complementary magnets. My hands are in his hair while his hands wind around my knees and my waist, pulling me closer. I sigh as he deepens our kiss, but seconds later he breaks away.

“It’s time for me to go home, Sneaks,” he murmurs, voice raspy. I nod, then quickly swivel my feet to the floor to stand. As much as my lips are screaming at the loss of contact from his, I’m so grateful for the way he’s respecting our boundaries. Not just mine, butours.

I walk him to the door, and he presses one last kiss to my lips. His smile turns playful as he says, “You’d better be sending me all the good footage from tonight. And I’m not talking about only the polished moments where we nailed it. I want the moments where you’re falling to the floor.”

Rolling my eyes, I playfully shove him out the door. “Goodnight, Brooks.”

Chapter twenty-eight

Ifind myself feeling jealous of Lana and Mateo more than once over the next couple of weeks. While I’m grateful to be dating Brooks now, after we’ve had years to grow and mature into adulthood, Lana had some definite perks dating Mateo in college. Like getting to see each other multiple times a week at Arrow events, soccer games, and official dates.

Adulting is for the birds. What I’d really like to do is hang out with Brooks all day every day. Too bad he has to spend his days teaching and evenings studying. Not to mention almost every single one ofmyevenings is taken up with Arrow events and Bible studies. A fact that has never really bothered me before now, considering my extreme extroversion and night owl tendencies.

But now, it means I barely get to see Brooks outside of small group on Wednesdays. Well, okay, and on our weekend date nights. And sitting by each other at church. Maybe lunch after church. And video calling occasionally.

But it’s not enough!

Every second I spend with him only makes me cravemoreseconds,everysecond.

Then again, I recognize this as one of the early symptoms of how I let my identity get so wrapped up in him back in high school. And I swore to Logan that I was mature enough not to repeat that behavior.

So, I’m making a concerted effort to deny at leastsomeof the times I impulsively want to text him. And not create extra reasons to see him. Instead, I make time to get coffee with Joy and grab lunch withthe other girls from small group. I even initiate an evening to relax at home with Gina instead of going our separate ways to campus.

Another idea pops into my head.

I haven’t seen you in a while! Would you want to come to the Arrow meeting tonight for old time’s sake?

BAILEY

omg, that would be so fun. I’ve thought about coming some Thursday but didn’t want to be the awkward old person crashing the meeting.

Whatever! You should come any time you want to! You still fit right in with the college crowd

BAILEY

Ok, I’ll meet you there!

The rest of the day is a blur, as Thursdays always are, but I find myself legitimately looking forward to seeing Bailey tonight. It’s such an evolution from our college days.

I’m in the lobby of the student union greeting people as they arrive when Bailey walks in. I wave her over, and she gives me a hug and a sincere smile.

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