Page 76 of Love and Other Chances

“Hi, Mr. Murphy,” I greet, hugging him back. “It was last minute, but I insisted on coming.”

He lingers in the hug a moment longer, murmuring, “Thank you, sweetheart.” Then he draws back to look at me, holding me by the shoulders and taking me in. “It’s so great to see you. You’re exactly the same—but a grown-up version of the Teegan we knew and loved. Which means you can drop the ‘Mr. Murphy’ title since you’re not a teenager anymore. Call me Steve. Otherwise, Steven will be chiming in all day long,” he adds with a grin.

“So, what’s this? I bring Teegan along, and suddenly I’m invisible?” Brooks jokes. He’s forced lightness into his tone, but this smile doesn’t make his eyes light up like his real smile does. Steve shifts to hug Brooks, giving him a tight squeeze as well. Brooks claps him on the back in an obvious move to escape the emotional embrace. Or, obvious to me, at least.

I slip my hand into Brooks’.

“Speaking of Steven, when are he and Julie arriving?” Brooks asks.

“They’re meeting us at the lake,” Steve responds. “They decided to get an AirBnb out there last night.”

“Lake Lotawana?” I ask. Brooks’ family always took multiple vacations there. Well, vacation might not be quite the right term, consideringit’s only about twenty minutes from Lee’s Summit. There was a small cabin on the lake they used to rent multiple times a year. I tagged along on one of their summer trips, enjoying the sight of Brooks water skiing while I sunbathed on the rental boat.

Steve smiles. “Good memory, Teegan. Yes—we all agreed that Angela would have loved for the lake to be her final resting place. She enjoyed being there more than the rest of us combined.”

Brooks’ thumb is manically fidgeting with my fingers, so I reach my other hand over to clasp around his. “That’s really special. That’s exactly what she would love,” I say to Steve as I squeeze Brooks’ hand.

“We’d better hit the road over there,” Steve says. “Want to ride with me in my car?”

“Nah, I can drive us over in mine,” Brooks quickly responds. I know he wants the distraction of driving rather than riding as a passenger.

“You ride up front, Mr. Mur—Steve,” I interject. “I’ll sit in the back! Could I run in to the bathroom before we leave?”

I take an extra moment in the bathroom to collect my emotions. I wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of contrasting reactions I’m experiencing. Sadness I expected. But seeing Brooks’ dad again filled me with joy—a nostalgic, coming-home sensation. That feeling only made Angela’s absence a deeper, bigger hole. And I feel regret that I never got to say goodbye to her. Bitterness that she died thinking that Brooks and I were over forever. Gratitude that we weren’t over forever and that Steve gets to see this full-circle moment.

“How do we handle today?” I ask my reflection in the mirror. My natural inclination is to be the positive, bright spot of the day. To try to cheer everyone up with sunshine and rainbows.

But the grief feels too gray. Once again, I fight off the urge to walk out the door and avoid this altogether. “Don’t make Brooks face this alone, Teegan,” I whisper to myself. “Get back out there.”

As we drive to the lake, I keep up a steady stream of conversation with Steve so Brooks doesn’t have to talk. I fill him in on the years of my life he missed, throwing in as many light-hearted stories as possible.

We pull into a parking area by Lake Lotawana where Steven and his wife are waiting for us. When I step out of the car, Steven’s eyes widenwith recognition. His smile tightens slightly, looking like he’s trying not to cry. “Hi, Steven,” I say with a small wave.

He steps forward and gives me a quick hug. “Thanks for being here for him,” he whispers quickly before drawing back and holding an arm out to his wife. “Teegan, this is my wife, Julie.”

“It’s great to meet you, Teegan,” Julie says before also pulling me into a short hug around the large bouquet of forget-me-not flowers she’s holding. “I’ve heard wonderful things.”

“I’m excited to get to know you,” I respond. Brooks has come to stand next to me after hugging Steven, so I take his hand again.

Steve leads the way on a path around the lake until we reach a bench with a small tree planted behind it. There’s a plaque on the bench that reads:For Angela Murphy. You were simply the best of us.

My throat tightens, and I blink rapidly to keep the moisture locked behind my eyes. Brooks blows out a slow, long breath next to me, his grip on my hand tensing. He rocks his weight back and forth between his feet as his dad speaks aloud to Angela.

“Hi there, darling,” Steve begins. “We’re here today to tell you again how much we miss you. Every day. You’re always with us in everything we do, a constant presence in our thoughts and our memories. It’s still hard to create new memories without you, but we know you’d want us loving the best of each moment. I finally took that birding tour to Canada that I always dreamed about. Got lucky and saw every species of owls I was hoping for. You would have loved the Snowy Owl. She was a beauty.”

Steve continues speaking for a couple more minutes, then trails off. Steven and Julie jump in, sharing highlights from the past year, and I realize this must be their annual tradition. To speak their favorite new memories to Angela’s memory. I’m barely holding it together by the time Brooks clears his throat to speak.

“Hey, Mom,” he starts, voice strained. “Really wish you could have been here this year. Because Teegan’s here with me. Yes,theTeegan. Your favorite of all time. I don’t know how I got so lucky, but God let me back into her life after I was such an idiot. And I know you’d be so thrilled about that.” He pauses, and I look over at him. His eyes are red, his lips twitching against the urge to cry. Ilet go of his hand so I can slip an arm around his waist, tucking myself to his side. Leaning my head against his chest, I wrap my other arm around his stomach and squeeze.

His arm around my shoulders tightens, almost to the point of being painful. But I won’t tell him to loosen his grip when I know this is the lifeline keeping him above water.

“Just really wish you were here,” he finishes, voice hardly above a whisper. He sniffs hard and clears his throat again. Steve picks up talking, but I don’t comprehend a word he says. I’m trying too hard not to fall to pieces so I can hold Brooks together.

Julie hands out bunches of flowers to each of us, and we take turns placing them against the trunk of the tree. I follow their lead, each person taking a private moment alone with their thoughts. When it’s my turn, I crouch down to place my flower stems with the others, thinking rather than speaking my words to Angela.

Hey, Mrs. Murphy. Mama Murph. I really do wish you were here to see the man that Brooks has become. You were the best of us, and he’s grown up to be the best of you. Thanks for always being there for me. For being a second mom in so many ways. Losing my relationship with you was one of the many hard things about our breakup. But we’ve both matured in all the ways we needed to as individuals before we could make us last. I hope you can see that. That you’re smiling that satisfied smile you had when everything turned out exactly how you told us it would. I’ll miss you being with us for all that’s still to come.

Standing to my feet, I wipe the tears from my cheeks before turning to face everyone. Brooks, Steven, and Julie walk the few steps down to the lake’s edge, and I move to follow them. Brooks’ dad catches my arm to stop me.

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