Page 114 of Just Let Go

Jaden’s pointed expression was his only reply.

That stung a little. “Because you’re into partying too? You think the Jesus stuff is a waste of time?”

Jaden faced him. “Heck no. I’m not into partying. I want to keep my body strong, you know, for the slopes. And me and Jesus are tight.”

“For real?”

“Ever since my first time up on skis,” Jaden said. “Never feel closer to God than when I’m up there, giving up control.”

Grady felt a twinge of something at the back of his mind. He wasn’t sure he could relate to that. He was always perfectly in control on the slopes. There was nothing spiritual about it. Besides, his memories of church and religion were more a laundry list of all the things he wasn’t allowed to do.

Didn’t that pretty much sum up who God was?

Underneath the Jeep, the road clicked along at an even pace. Grady stared straight ahead at the horizon. The sunlight had begun to fade, but his eyes were still shielded by a pair of aviators. He was thankful for that; he didn’t need Jaden reading anything into what he was—or wasn’t—saying.

“Don’t tell me you don’t at least believe in God,” Jaden said.

No, he did. He just chose to ignore God, same way God had ignored him the day of Benji’s accident. He’d sat there, holding his brother in his arms, begging—pleading—for divine intervention, but God had stayed silent. How Benji could still spout off about God’s goodness the way he did made no sense to Grady.

Maybe that’s what his parents could never understand about Grady. They all went back to church like everything was fine. They still did the whole Bible study thing, and Mom still played her worship songs while she cleaned the house.

And the rage pulled itself into a tight ball at Grady’s core.

“See, that’s a hill Aunt Quinn isn’t gonna climb.”

Jaden’s voice jerked Grady back to reality. “Sorry, I was thinking about something else. I do believe in God. I just haven’t spent a lot of time with him these past few years.”

Jaden shrugged. “Maybe you should.”

He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. A heaviness settled on Grady’s shoulders.

“Then there’s all the other stuff,” Jaden said.

“What?” Grady had lost track of their conversation.

“You and Aunt Quinn. All the other things that make you a terrible match.”

“We’re still talking about that?” Grady tried to play it off like it was nothing, but the truth was, he didn’t want to hear it—not really—because all he heard wasYou’re not good enough for her.And of course, he already knew it was true.

But Jaden wasn’t done talking. “Like, you have sports and she has flowers. You travel all over and she stays here. I don’t know if she’s ever even been on an airplane.”

“Seriously?”

Jaden shrugged. “Even I’ve been on an airplane. Went out to see my dad once.”

Grady focused on the road in front of him. Jaden had never mentioned his dad before, though Grady had gathered they weren’t close. “How’d that go?”

“I haven’t seen him since, if that gives you an idea.”

Grady kept his eyes on the road. “I haven’t seen my dad in a while either.”

“I’m talking years here,” Jaden said, as if he could one-up Grady.

“Yeah,” Grady said. “Me too.”

Jaden’s wounded eyes found Grady’s. “Really?”

Back to the highway in front of him—it was safer to look there. No chance of unwanted emotion creeping in. “We had a sort of falling-out. I haven’t been back home since I was eighteen.”

---