Page 134 of Just Let Go

“She what?” She could barely whisper.

He sat back down on the coffee table and took her hands. “I told her she should find you. I told her how amazing you are. I tried to get her to stay, Quinn.”

The realization of it was like a knife to the back. “Even after all that coaxing, she still couldn’t be bothered with me.”

“I don’t think it’s like that. I think she’s full of regret, and she doesn’t know how to make it right.”

“Don’t you dare defend her.” She reeled back and pulled her hands away.

“I’m not defending her,” he said. “I promise. I just recognize that pain.”

“The pain of screwing up so badly there’s no coming back from it?”

“But thereiscoming back from it. She just can’t see it. Not yet.”

Quinn pushed herself up off the couch and walked toward the kitchen—why, she didn’t know. Distance? Space? Clarity? None of those things came. “She’s had years to see it, Grady. I guess she never will.”

He stood and faced her. “Maybe not, but that’s her loss. I know my conversation with her was brief, but I think she knows what she missed out on.”

Quinn wrapped her arms around herself, as if that could protect her from the grief that overtook her body. She’d been waiting since she was a little girl for the chance to ask her questions.Why did you leave? Did I do something wrong? Why don’t you love me?

And now, after this, it was clear that none of those questions would ever be asked, let alone answered.

“I think you should go.” The words startled her. She hadn’t meant to say them. Grady’s face—solemn and concerned—was enough to break her heart. But in some ways, her heart was already broken, and there was no one to blame for being blindsided like this except him.

“Quinn, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. I didn’t want to upset you—I didn’t want you to think this had anything to do with you.” He stood in the kitchen now, too big for the small space, and suddenly she felt like the walls were closing in.

“I need to be alone, Grady, please.” She couldn’t breathe for thepain that had lodged itself in her throat. She pushed past him, back to the living room, feeling like a rat in a cage. There was nowhere to go.

“I can’t leave unless I know you’re okay,” he said. “I won’t.”

She spun around. “I don’t want you here!” The tears came hard and fast, and she was helpless to stop them. She didn’t mean to be vicious, but her mind wouldn’t stop spinning. Part of her wanted to sink into his arms, but he’d kept this all from her—something that he knew was more important to her than anything.

How could she ever trust him now?

His eyes—wounded and sorry—held hers for a long moment, and then finally, he shifted his gaze. He crossed the room, placed one tender kiss on the top of her head, then walked out the door, leaving her with nothing but Chinese food and the pieces of her broken heart.

Grady stood in the hallway outside Quinn’s loft for seconds that turned into minutes. The light under her doorway disappeared, but still he stood, trying to think of something—anything—to make this better.

So far, his mind was empty.

There was nothing to say except “I’m sorry.” And while he’d already said it, he wasn’t sure she was in any state to hear it. This thing with her mother, it was brutal, and until she let go of it, it always would be.

But then, who was he to talk? It wasn’t like he had a good relationship with his parents. And he was holding on to plenty of baggage of his own.

He slid to the floor, back pressed against the wall, and sat there for nearly an hour. Why hadn’t he just told her the truth from the start? It would’ve hurt, yes, but at least she’d have him to lean on right now. But maybe she was unwilling to lean. She wouldn’t let him get close again, and he hated that he couldn’t take the painaway. The more time he spent in this town with these people, the more he realized there was only one who could.

He stood. “God, I know I can’t be what she needs right now,” he whispered against her door. “But you can. And I pray you are.”

And with that, he walked away.

CHAPTER

34

THE NEXT DAY,Grady awoke after an impossibly restless night of half sleep. His heart still ached for what Quinn was going through, and regret piled high on top of him.

He was new to this kind of selfless love, and while he wasn’t sure yet if he’d be good at it, he knew he wanted to try—for her. As he checked his phone for a missed call or a text, he wondered if she’d ever forgive him.

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