Page 139 of Just Let Go

“He lied, Dad.” The cloud of tears was back, and she blinked three times in quick succession, willing them not to betray her.

“But he did it because he thought the truth would hurt too much.”

“A lie is a lie.” She pulled the afghan more tightly around her.

“Quinn, honey.” His face whitened. “There’s something you need to know.”

He was back. Top of his game. Determined to put the past behind him and move on. That meant forcing thoughts of Harbor Pointe and a certain pretty florist out of his mind.

He’d walked into the first day of training just as Matthew Phillips finished an impressive run. The cameras started flashing, and Grady realized they weren’t only getting shots of Matthew, wearing the Bowman name, but also of Grady’s reaction to the younger skier. In the past, he might’ve given the press exactly the kind of sound bite they craved. Today, with a knowing glance at Brian and the rest of the coaching staff, he chose a different approach.

Matthew came to a stop a few yards in front of him, and Grady walked straight over to him under many watchful eyes. He wore the Spectre logo, having worked out a decent deal with the up-and-coming company, and he reminded himself to keep his ego in check. He heard the camera shutters snapping as he approached.

Matthew removed his goggles. “Grady.” He looked unsure, as if he’d done something wrong and was about to be called out on it.

“Looking forward to getting up there with you,” Grady said.

“Yeah?” The younger man did nothing to hide his surprise.

“Yeah. Just got into town. I’ve got some work to do before next weekend. Hoping not to spend all my time eating your dust.”

Matthew’s laugh was uncertain.

Grady extended a hand in Matthew’s direction. After all, theguy’s only crime was being good at what he loved. And on the drive out here, Grady had determined not to hold that against him. Instead, he’d use it to spur himself on. If he was smart, it would make him better.

Matthew shook Grady’s hand and more flashes went off.

“I gotta get out there,” Grady said. “Here’s hoping these old bones can keep up.”

Before he let go, Matthew pulled him closer. “I’m rooting for you, man.”

“Appreciate it,” Grady said.

The drive got him thinking about more than just Matthew Phillips. He’d tossed around the footage of previous races, the missteps, the mistakes. He’d thought through the advice Brian and his other coaches had given him in recent months. He’d decided he could either tell them he’d changed or he could show them—and he knew which one of those would carry the most weight.

He’d also spent a lot of time looking back on Harbor Pointe and Jaden and Quinn. He wanted to make them proud—to give them a reason to cheer for him.

And he supposed that idea led him to thoughts of the peace he’d begun to make with a God he’d all but turned his back on. Was it possible he’d been there all along, somewhere in the middle of this messy, messy world?

Sometimes it shamed him to remember the way he’d squandered the good things God had put in his life. He’d mistakenly convinced himself he deserved those things, when he knew now with absolute certainty he did not. He didn’t want to waste a single moment ever again.

In the quiet darkness of the car, he’d prayed—asked God to help him get his life right for the right reasons.

Make me new.

The words had come into his mind without warning. He didn’t even know what they meant. How could someone like him—someone who’d made so many bad choices—ever be truly new?

And yet, it became his prayer.Make me new. On the slopes and off.

He was tired of living the same old life, doing the same things, making the same bad decisions, getting in the same fights. He wanted to surrender his anger, his frustration, his ego as much as he wanted to surrender control on the mountain. That freedom—he craved it.

Happy had agreed to clear his schedule to work with Grady, and together they’d come up with the ideal training and eating program for the two weeks before his last chance to qualify for the team. His last chance to keep his promise to Benji. His last chance to prove to the world that they were wrong about him.

The days were full. He was surrounded by people. Coaches who’d all but written him off seemed open to the new and improved version of him.

On Saturday, while Grady was packing up after practice, Brian stopped by. So far, Grady had only spoken to him in passing.

“Looking good out there, Benson,” Brian said. “Seems like you finally got that left leg to cooperate.”

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