“Why do you have that?”
He met her eyes from across the room, and she saw the hurt he didn’t even bother to try and hide. “What do you mean?”
“I mean you left—why would you keep the vows you wrote? You broke them.” Her mind worked to wrap itself around the idea that Josh might’ve been faithful to her in his absence, as if they were legally bound, as if he owed it to her.
But no, he’d made his choice. He walked out on them. His actions had broken those vows ages ago.
“I didn’t.” The words were clipped. “I’ve cherished you. I’ve put your happiness before my own—don’t you see that?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t.”
He pushed his hand through his hair, an exasperated sound escaping his lips. “I left so you and Jaden would have a shot—so you’d be happy.”
“What?” Disbelief worked its way through her mind as she struggled to understand.
“I know it didn’t exactly make sense, but I did what I thought was best.”
“Josh, you walked out on us.”
“You don’t understand.” His words were spiked with frustration. “I left because it was better for you guys.”
“No,” she snapped. “I don’t get that at all. Do you know how hard it was raising a baby by myself?” Her voice caught in her throat and she struggled to swallow, struggled to speak. “I was eighteen. I had no idea what I was doing.”
“You had everything figured out from the start, Carly,” he said. “You didn’t need me. You didn’t need anyone.”
“What does that mean?”
“I tried to help you, but I never did anything the right way. I always felt like a screw-up.”
“And that’s my fault?”
He sighed. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“You are. You’re saying I made you feel like you didn’t know what you were doing.”
“Well, you did!” He shouted the words, his anger flaring. “And then you make these assumptions about me like you’ve got everything all figured out, just like you did today.”
Carly’s jaw went slack. “It was an honest mistake, and unlike you, I apologized.”
“You get these ideas in your head, Carly, but you don’t know the whole story. You don’t know—” Again, he stopped short of saying what she could only imagine was something very important.
“What don’t I know?” She knew everything—didn’t she?
“Forget it.” Josh stared at the floor and drew in a slow breath. “I don’t want to fight with you.”
“How can you not see how hypocritical this is?” she asked, not willing to let it go. “You pull these vows out like I should be impressed you haven’t slept with a bunch of women—”
“No, Carly. I haven’t slept withanywomen. Only you.”
The words hung there, filling the space between them.
“For me, it’s always only been you.”
“Then why did you leave?” Tears sprang to her eyes and she willed herself not to cry. “Don’t you regret it at all?”
He moved across the room, eyes locked on to hers, and when he reached her, he stopped, almost as if he didn’t dare touch her now. “I regret that I wasn’t the man you needed.”
A tear slid down her cheek. “But you don’t regret leaving?”