Page 128 of Just One Kiss

“About what happened on the playground.”

His mother cried quietly.

“But I don’t remember,” Josh said. “He just fell down.”

His father shook his head. “Don’t start making up stories. You’ll sound like a liar.”

“I’m not—”

“When they get here, you tell them the truth. You were playing. You pushed your brother. He fell and hit his head.”

Josh looked at his mom. Why wasn’t she saying anything? Was that what happened? Why couldn’t he remember?

“Sometimes we get angry, and sometimes our anger makes us do things we don’t mean,” his dad said. “We know you didn’t mean to hurt your brother.”

Josh choked back a sob. “I didn’t—”

“Stop lying!” his father barked. “The doctors said he had to have been pushed, Joshua. He was pushed and he fell and hit his head.”

Josh dropped to the ground. Tears streamed down his face as sobs took over his eight-year-old body.

His brother was dead—and it was all his fault.

The following day, he overheard the police talking to his parents after their short interview with Josh. He’d told them exactly what his father said he should. They’d been playing. He pushed Dylan. Dylan fell and hit his head on the metal merry-go-round.

But there were questions they’d asked that Josh couldn’t answer.

Blank spots in his memory that didn’t make sense.

“We have some concerns,” one of the officers said. “It sounds like he might’ve blacked out during some of the argument with his brother.”

Josh wanted to tell them there wasn’t an argument, but he couldn’t say that for certain, could he?

“What does that mean?” his mother asked in a tone so hushed he was surely not meant to overhear.

“We think you should take him to a child psychologist,” the officer said. “If he has fits of rage that lead to blackouts, that’s cause for concern.”

“He could be a danger to himself or, really, anyone else.”

“But Joshua is such a mild-mannered child,” Gloria said.

“Just have him talk to someone,” the officer said.

“We’ll have more questions,” the other officer said. “We can’t exactly piece together what happened, but we need to keep an eye on your son.”

They moved toward the entryway and Josh raced away from the door. Was what they said true? Was he a danger to the people he loved? How had this happened—was something wrong with him?

A month went by and his parents never took him to a child psychologist. The police spoke with him two more times, but nothing ever came of their questions. Another month passed and Josh’s father moved them to Harbor Pointe—to escape the rumors, he’d said. They needed a fresh start.

When he met Carly that first day in town, she’d been like a beacon of light. It was as if somehow he knew that she was the life preserver that would keep him from sinking.

Even at that young age, he’d been so drawn to her, but even she knew nothing about Dylan. She didn’t know Josh’s fit of rage had led to his brother’s death. Every time she talked about what kind of monster Josh’s father was, all he could think wasI’m that same kind of monster.

If she knew that, she’d be horrified. He’d lose her forever.

But now, years between that day and this, he thought perhaps it was time to tell her the whole truth. She’d be horrified, yes, but would she finally understand why he’d left? Why he didn’t regret it? Would she see, once and for all, that in leaving, Josh had saved them?

And as he drifted off to sleep, he thought maybe it was a chance he finally needed to take.

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