Page 69 of Just One Kiss

Afterward, they looked at each other for a brief moment and Carly knew nothing between them would ever be the same again. She had changed everything, as she’d intended to, but nothing felt like she’d expected.

Embarrassment, not boldness, creeped up her neck, flushing her cheeks red. What had she done?

She wasn’t even sure they’d done it right. Did it count? It had been awkward and a little painful. It had been quick and embarrassing. Was that how sex was supposed to be?

Her heart raced and her head scolded her, and despite her best efforts, she melted into a puddle of tears.

Josh sat up straight, confusion on his face. Of course he was confused. Not two minutes before, Carly had practically thrown herself at him. Now, in the shadow of their decision, she was falling apart, and she knew it was unfair to expect him to put her back together.

He reached for her, but she shrank away. “I think I need to go home.”

He sighed. “Carly, oh man. I’m sorry—I thought . . .”

She shook her head. “It’s okay. I just want to go home.”

He sat still for several seconds, then finally they gathered their clothes, got dressed and left the little cabin on the lake.

They rode in silence, and when they reached her street, he slowed down, as if that might stop time. As if they could turn back the clock and make sense of what they’d done.

“I’m really sorry,” he said as he pulled up in front of her house.

She shook her head and wiped her cheeks dry. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I thought it was what you wanted.”

She looked at him. “Me too, but maybe I thought it would be different.”

“Maybe we can go back to the way things were? Pretend it didn’t happen? I don’t need that right now, Carly.”

But she didn’t believe him. She knew how teenage boys were. Everyone made it clear they all only wanted one thing. Did it matter that Josh had never made her feel that way?

She looked at her house and thought of her dad, who would be sitting in his recliner, watching old reruns ofM*A*S*Hand waiting for her to get home. “I don’t think we can ever go back.”

He reached across the front seat and took her hand. “Let’s at least try.”

She looked at him, and she thought in that moment that maybe Josh actually loved her, that maybe he’d loved her before that night and she’d made this decision without thinking it through, without consulting him. She’d assumed she knew what he wanted, but was it possible she’d misjudged him?What if Belinda wasn’t what he wanted at all? What if he’d been perfectly content with the way things were despite their differences?

Or maybe because of their differences?

She touched his face, then leaned closer, kissing him on the lips the way they’d done a thousand times before. “Okay,” she said. “Let’s try.”

But the truth was, they both knew it would never have worked to pretend that night didn’t happen, even if everything had gone differently. Their sweet, innocent relationship was different now, and no amount of wishing it weren’t would change that.

Now, Carly squeezed the bucket of cleaning supplies. “Maybe I should go home. Jaden’s probably awake now, and I don’t think Quinn is picking him up for another hour.”

Josh stepped off the porch and met her in the yard. “You’re uncomfortable being here.”

“No, I’m not.”

“That’s the second time you’ve mentioned leaving.”

She shook her head. “I’ve been here plenty of times.” (With him and not since.) “It’s just a cabin.”

“Right,” he said.

“So let’s just work, okay?”

He raised his hands as if in surrender and she pushed past him, anxious to shut herself away, turn her brain off and stay focused on something shecouldcontrol.

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