Page 138 of Just Like Home

She shrugged. “I’m not sure. I guess maybe because Marcia has been controlling my life for as long as I can remember. And this was the first real decision I made on my own.”

“The decision to come to Harbor Pointe,” Hildy said.

“Yes. And the decision to walk away from ballet.”

Hildy paused thoughtfully. “Does it feel like a mistake?”

“It feels like I finally have everything I’ve been missing,” Charlotte said, aware that her eyes had clouded over with fresh tears. “But dance is who I am.”

“Dance isn’t who you are, Charlotte,” Hildy said. “It’s what you do. There’s a difference.”

“Is there?” Charlotte wasn’t so sure. People always told her she’d been born to dance. If she stopped doing what she was born to do, what was left?

“Of course there is.” Hildy went quiet, then regarded Charlotte with new curiosity. “It was you, wasn’t it?”

Charlotte frowned. “What was me?”

“The friend Julianna left to protect,” she said. “The one she took the fall for.”

Charlotte shrank under the question. “You know about that?”

“Not all the details,” Hildy said. “But enough.”

Charlotte’s head spun. “You’ve known this whole time, and you still let me come here?”

Hildy looked out over the water, thoughtfulness on her face. “She did what she did because she loved you.”

A tear slid down Charlotte’s cheek. “But it was wrong. My bad judgment cost her everything.”

Hildy drew in a deep breath. “Oh, I don’t know, Charlotte, I think it depends on how you look at it. Did it cost her everything, or did she gain everything?”

Charlotte swiped a tear from her cheek and willed herself to stay strong. She’d never told anyone what she did, not even Julianna. They never discussed it—Julianna just knew. She knew and she fell on her sword, all so Charlotte could go on dancing.

“Cole told me once he thought Julianna wouldn’t have traded her life for anything,” Charlotte said.

“I agree with him.” Hildy glanced at her. “You aren’t so sure?”

Charlotte shrugged. “How can we really know? How can we know that she wouldn’t have gone on to be something great?”

“Oh, honey, she did,” Hildy said. “I know you didn’t get to see her with her family or with those kids she taught, but Jules was born for this life.”

Charlotte stilled. “Do you think she would’ve forgiven me?”

“I think she did forgive you,” Hildy said. “Don’t get me wrong, she was devastated when she came home. She told everyone else she decided ballet wasn’t for her, but I knew there was more to the story.”

“Yeah, there was me,” Charlotte said sadly. “Me and my horrible mistake.”

“You can’t change it,” Hildy said. “Though it seems like you’re trying awfully hard to make up for it.”

Was that what she was doing? She didn’t even know anymore.

“I’m the worst kind of friend,” Charlotte said. “I did something terrible because I wanted this certain kind of life, and Julianna sacrificed her own dreams so I could have it. And the day she died, I decided what I really wanted was the life she’d stepped into. How selfish is that?”

“It’s not selfish,” Hildy said. “It’s human. You’re discovering what Julianna discovered—that there’s more to life than just one thing.”

“Why couldn’t I see that then?”

Hildy shrugged. “You’re seeing it now.”

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