Page 17 of If You Love Me

Roman

Deal with your shit, so we don’t have to.

Dallas

Team dad is in a mood.

Roman

I would not fuck with team dad today, if you all know what’s good for you.

Dallas

Disappearing GIF

I pocket my phone. I don’t have the bandwidth for ribbing or being anything but a salty asshole this morning. And my sour mood turns downright bitter when I enter the locker room andfind my jacket in my cubby. Folded exactly how I like it.Because she paid attention to the small details during our weekend together. Worse? It’s freshly washed and smells likeher.

Everyone gives me a wide berth as I change into my goalie gear. I need to compartmentalize. Keep my shit together. Not take my frustration out on my teammates.

This should be like exposure therapy. Over time, the effect Lexi has on me should dissipate. My body should calm the hell down.

Forrester is on the ice with Thomas and Boxer, clipboard in hand, hair pulled up in a high ponytail. Vander Zee skates next to her. Boxer has been with the team as long as I have, and has been working with me and Ryker while we prepare him to take over next year. The coaches have their heads together as we start warming up.

They break apart and Coach Forrester skates over, expression impassive. How she manages to maintain professionalism when I’m over here trying to control my hormones is a damn wonder.

“Grace and Palaniappa, bring it in, please.” She motions for them to join us.

“Where’s Boxer going?” I tip my chin toward the other net.

“Working with Ryker because he needs the attention, and you’re a veteran. Your knowledge and skill set will be better utilized with the newest member of our team. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Palaniappa taps his stick on the ice. “Coach makes a good point.”

“What’s your greatest strength on the ice, Grace?” Lexi asks. “Apart from your willingness to end up in the penalty box to save a shot from reaching the goalie.”

“Reading plays and predicting outcomes,” he says.

“And your weakness?”

Grace taps his stick on the ice. “Letting my emotions rule me.”

“Connor Grace, get to know Roman Hammerstein andAshish Palaniappa. There is no one more controlled or more effective in the net and no defensive player in the league who has done a better job of helping our goalie protect the net. If anyone can teach you how to harness your emotions so you stay out of the penalty box and save your goalie from being overtaxed, it’s these two.” She skates backwards and bows, brow arched in challenge. “I dare you to prove me wrong.”

“Goddamn she’s intense, isn’t she?” Palaniappa muses. It’s not an insult, but pure admiration.

“Yeah.” It’s a smart strategy, appealing to our competitive nature and pushing Grace to work with us. And she’s sexy as hell when she owns her role.

“Sorry you’re stuck with me.” Grace rolls his head on his shoulders.

“Just because you and Madden have issues to work out doesn’t mean the rest of the team does, too. Let’s run some drills.” I pull my mask down.

Palaniappa and I work with Grace throughout the warm-up. He’s an excellent player and knows how to handle the puck. I just wish he and Madden could figure their shit out.

Eventually, it’s time to scrimmage. The puck drops, and the boys fight for possession. Bright snags it and heads down the ice, skillfully skirting players, moving with purpose as Grace gets into position, ready to enforce. And Madden, who apparently doesn’t know what position he’s playing today, gets in the way. He nearly trips Grace, and the two scuffle, their sticks inches from my face. In the distraction, the puck slides by my skate.

I shove Madden out of my space. “This isn’t the fucking Madden show. Look where you are,” I snap. “I already have two enforcers, I don’t need another one. There’s a whole team out there who wouldn’t mind some practice.” My words surprise even me. That isn’t something I do. I’m always cool. Composed. Level.

Madden holds up both hands. “Whoa, I was just trying to get the puck to the other end of the rink.”

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